joe the plumber

Leading conservative intellectual Joe the Failed Politician Not-Plumber has decided that he has not spewed forth enough frothing filth to remind us all of what a horrible shitpile he is. First, he told the parents of dead kids in Isla Vista to STFU and quit whining about their tragedy because he is a classy fellow. […]

Of all the dimwitted leaking anal polyps rushing to write nine million words this weekend about Friday night’s terrible murder spree, of all the jabbering imbeciles determined to scream that “Guns don’t kill people!” and “Should we ban knives too, libtard?” and “My freedoms, you shall not take them!”, you know what washed-up cultural figure […]

Some high school children have some Jews very very angry (for a change; lol Jews, right?) with their classy reenactment of the Holocaust, via Beer Pong (above). Note how much harder it would be to get one’s ball into the Nazi cups, as they are not clustered together as are the Jews’; this reflects with […]

Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your […]

Oh, gosh, kids, have we got a treat for you! Yesterday, we brought you the braindroppings of a Clinton conspiracy lackwit, Robert Morrow, who wants the world to know about the Clinton’s secret shame: Chelsea is not Bill’s daughter, but is in fact the biological daughter of Webster “Webb” Hubbell, an idea Morrow has been […]

There is not a reason in the world to click on the video above of fallen Wonkette hero “Joe” the “Plumber” flapping his gums at his election loss party, except to note his killer rags. Dude, you were running for Congress. You think the flannel might be a touch … less formal than the occasion […]

You will remember 2008, yes? When “Joe the Plumber” seized the nation’s imagination and served as the nation’s templar for our hopes that there was a secret groundswell of angry anti-Obama voters who would make the race close and give reporters something exciting to cover on Election Night? And then how none of that happened […]

Oh, did the Republicans make someone their new national hero for being rude to a Democrat, in this case our dream lover, Old Handsome Joe Biden? They did? That’s so weird, we would never have guessed. You will remember this “Chris the Baker” fellow from cupcake-blocking Joe’s appearance in his cupcakery, because he was mad […]

Dung-pile peasant turned right-wing avatar Sam Wurzelbacher, who likes to pretend his name is Joe and also likes to pretend he is a plumber, has a black friend! She’s really likes Sam the Unemployable Guy Who Pretended To Be A Plumber and she’s also a big fan of President Obama. Probably, because she’s a black! […]

What caused the Holocaust? (Or per Business Insider, “Why are the sources of anti-Semitism?”) Well, you could be boring about it and point to the rich vein of anti-Semitism going back to the Middle Ages in those parts of Bavaria where Hitler was strongest, and add in his need for an “other” to blame for […]

Handsome Old Joe Biden explained the other day that being a Bain executive doesn’t make you any more special or ready to be president than would being a plumber. Maybe we are wrong (we are not wrong) but it sounds to us like Handsome Old Joe is standing up for the working man, the middle […]

Hey stupid Occupy hippie! Why don’t you love paying taxes, like “Joe” “the Plumber” does? Taxes are cool, they pay for parks and police! Also, it is your patriotic duty to pay your fair share and not, say, divert all your “bread” (that is “money” in hippie language) to your accounts in the Caymans! Or […]

Joe the Plumber went to the White House, you guys, and he stood outside the gates and couldn’t get in. That is no way to treat some random schlub running for Congress from … let’s see … Ohio! Sad face! What is the newest Michael Moore doing in his hot new film “Barack & Me”? […]

Back before Joe the Plumber fell into an Internet spidy-hole and was still actually getting interviewed (granted, only by things called “Christianity Today”), America’s sweetheart let slip with some—how to put this delicately—fucking nuts comments about the “queers” and how he would never let them near his children. Ha, so heartland, right? Well, Joe recently […]

Before being a “job creator” was even a thing, Joe the Plumber bravely and famously confronted then-Senator Barack Obama to carp about problems from his made-up financial future as one of these as-yet unheard of “job creators.” Now this same angrily prescient heartland shaman is only months away from unfettered bitch session access to his […]