joe the plumber
Weep, Ye Mighty, For Fallen Soldier ‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’
There is not a reason in the world to click on the video above of fallen Wonkette hero “Joe” the “Plumber” flapping his gums at his election loss party, except to note his killer rags. Dude, you were running for Congress. You think the flannel might be a touch … less formal than the occasion [...]
Joe The Plumber II: The Bidening
You will remember 2008, yes? When “Joe the Plumber” seized the nation’s imagination and served as the nation’s templar for our hopes that there was a secret groundswell of angry anti-Obama voters who would make the race close and give reporters something exciting to cover on Election Night? And then how none of that happened [...]
GOP’s New ‘Joe The Plumber,’ ‘Chris The Baker,’ Just As Tawdry As The Last One
Oh, did the Republicans make someone their new national hero for being rude to a Democrat, in this case our dream lover, Old Handsome Joe Biden? They did? That’s so weird, we would never have guessed. You will remember this “Chris the Baker” fellow from cupcake-blocking Joe’s appearance in his cupcakery, because he was mad [...]
That Joe the Plumber Idiot Has A Black Friend Now
Dung-pile peasant turned right-wing avatar Sam Wurzelbacher, who likes to pretend his name is Joe and also likes to pretend he is a plumber, has a black friend! She’s really likes Sam the Unemployable Guy Who Pretended To Be A Plumber and she’s also a big fan of President Obama. Probably, because she’s a black! [...]
Joe The Plumber Has Brilliant Analysis Of What Caused The Holocaust
What caused the Holocaust? (Or per Business Insider, “Why are the sources of anti-Semitism?”) Well, you could be boring about it and point to the rich vein of anti-Semitism going back to the Middle Ages in those parts of Bavaria where Hitler was strongest, and add in his need for an “other” to blame for [...]
Who Would Win In A Barfight: Joe The Plumber Or Joe The Biden?
Handsome Old Joe Biden explained the other day that being a Bain executive doesn’t make you any more special or ready to be president than would being a plumber. Maybe we are wrong (we are not wrong) but it sounds to us like Handsome Old Joe is standing up for the working man, the middle [...]
Joe The Plumber Explains To Stupid Hippie Why Paying Taxes Is Cool (VIDEO)
Hey stupid Occupy hippie! Why don’t you love paying taxes, like “Joe” “the Plumber” does? Taxes are cool, they pay for parks and police! Also, it is your patriotic duty to pay your fair share and not, say, divert all your “bread” (that is “money” in hippie language) to your accounts in the Caymans! Or [...]
Joe The Plumber/Future Congressman Whining About ‘Gotcha’ Questions Already
Back before Joe the Plumber fell into an Internet spidy-hole and was still actually getting interviewed (granted, only by things called “Christianity Today”), America’s sweetheart let slip with some—how to put this delicately—fucking nuts comments about the “queers” and how he would never let them near his children. Ha, so heartland, right? Well, Joe recently [...]
Joe The Plumber May Become Congressman The Plumber
Before being a “job creator” was even a thing, Joe the Plumber bravely and famously confronted then-Senator Barack Obama to carp about problems from his made-up financial future as one of these as-yet unheard of “job creators.” Now this same angrily prescient heartland shaman is only months away from unfettered bitch session access to his [...]
Super Tuesday Murdered By Meh Wednesday
What’s up, Cleveland Plain-Dealer? Pretty exciting night, there, yes, with your still hanging chads or somesuch but “advantage Romney,” certainly what ho? So many exciting Politics in O-hi-o, with Elf Queen Consort Dennis Kucinich losing his fabled place in the hearts of Hippie-Americans as Keebler cookie-maker-in-chief to nice lady and new Elvish Queen Marcy Kaptur. [...]
Joe the ‘Plumber’ & Kirk Cameron Plot Moral Crimes At CPAC
What are these two future co-presidents of Walmerica talking about, high above the commoners at CPAC? Nothing that makes any sense, that is for sure! Also is there some sort of Behind the Music style sob story to explain why 1980s teen teevee heartthrob Kirk Cameron is now reduced to hanging out with a spoiled [...]
Has-Been Creepazoid ‘Joe The Plumber’ To Run Unsuccessfully For Congress
OH FINALLY: here is this thing we briefly forgot about but will now post “for comedy” announcing that Samuel “Joe the Grifter Tax-Delinquent Fake Plumber” Wurzelbacher decided he is running as a Republican for a seat in the crappier chamber of Congress even though God begged him not to and Joe hates Republicans. Such a [...]
Dim Beefcake Joe the Plumber Might Run for Congress
The GOP of Ohio was having another one of their weekly “drunk, diapered ‘n dominated!” orgies one night recently, and out of the swirl of morning-after shame and closeted self-loathing they decided they’d order a mindless manly piece of man man to… what, run for Congress? Sure, that about compensates. And that is the only [...]
‘An Evening With the Joe’s': History’s Greatest GOP Meeting of Minds
Tonight, history will be made. “Join the launch of the historic effort to Defeat Barack Obama with America’s most influential and conservative ‘Joe’s’ at the pre-launch party,” says the invitation. “No,” you’re thinking to yourself. “But — it’s impossible, right? They can’t get all three.” OH, BUT THEY CAN. The Tea Party Express’ Our Country [...]
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