Tag Archives: joe scarborough

  Odds And Ends...Of America!

A Children’s Treasury Of Inauguration-Day Stupids

So we hear that there was some sort of widely-watched event today that did not involve sports! Above, we have Tweetosphere messages from three people who seem not to understand that everyone can see them saying stuff, and that retweets can be directed to @SecretService (as all of these were, for whatever good it does). Or maybe we could talk about the professional trolls at Fox & Friends, who discovered that today, the third Monday in January, is thought by some to be “the most depressing day of the year,” a story that we are certain has absolutely nothing to do with it also being Barack Obama’s second Inaugural. Really, they don’t say there’s a connection! It is too a legitimate news story, so they brought on a motivational speaker to help Fox viewers cheer the fuck up: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Inauguration-Day Stupids…
  don't retreat reload

NRA: Why Does Uppity Obama Refuse To Let Sasha And Malia Die From Guns Like Regular American Children?

Here is the latest super smart and with-it ad from the NRA, who are obviously geniuses of social intelligence. We are fairly shocked that in their jeremiad against the president’s having Secret Service protection for his daughters, they did not actually feature pictures of said daughters, and, say, “surveyor’s marks.” (Watch closely for a cameo by David Gregory as a member of the uppity blah ‘lite.) But what do other people think of this dumb fucking thing? Read more on NRA: Why Does Uppity Obama Refuse To Let Sasha And Malia Die From Guns Like Regular American Children?…
  people who call people chauvinists are the real chauvinists

Joe Scarborough Yells Over All The Ladies, Snaps His Fingers At Them, To Prove That He Is Not A Chauvinist

Joe Scarborough is trying to do the right thing. He is trying to get Barack Obama to hire more women. That is good! GOOD FOR YOU JOE SCARBOROUGH. (It is also somewhat akin to the Republican mouthpieces foaming that Chuck Hagel is too mean to gays, but baby steps.) Unfortunately, then Mika calls him a chauvinist, and he tries to make the point about how not-chauvinist he is by yelling over all the women, and snapping his fingers in their faces. This is … problematic. Read more on Joe Scarborough Yells Over All The Ladies, Snaps His Fingers At Them, To Prove That He Is Not A Chauvinist…
  class traitors

Millionaire Joe Scarborough Class Wars ‘Rich People’

Wonketteers, did you know that the country is full of rich people with mansions and jets? And that these people are far richer than most Americans are or ever will be? Joe Scarborough knows a little something about wealth inequality — not because HE’s wealthy, but because he’s seen OTHER PEOPLE hoard vast quantities of wealth, and thinks — get this — it’s morally wrong. Spokesmodel Mika Brzezinski gets the ball rolling, asking something about “tax rates today, those who are impacting taxes [sic] are contrived in some way.” Was that a question? Apparently it was, because Morning Joe, wearing his most Serious looking spectacles this morning, explains why these concerns are NOT contrived. It is because in the ’90s, lowering taxes on capital gains was probably the “right” thing to do to stimulate growth, but now, it’s looking like it was NOT probably the right thing to do. Joe Scarborough doesn’t know anything about income inequality PERSONALLY, of course, since he lives such a humble existence on his $4 million per year salary. Read more on Millionaire Joe Scarborough Class Wars ‘Rich People’…
  cool apology bro

Suck It, Nate Silver! Joe Scarborough Apologizes For Nothing

Joe Scarborough, who hosts MSNBC’s morning show because the rest of MSNBC’s Obama food stamp-loving libtard talent don’t wake from their welfare-funded fortified wine benders until well after noon, is really, really sorry he conflated Nate Silver with that unwashed hillbilly “unskewed polls” guy. And by really, really sorry, we mean he’s not sorry at all. While most of the world has moved past the 2012 election to focus on more important things, like Ken Layne’s fun cooking blog for moms and the possible 2016 presidential candidates, Scarborough remains upset that people are so mean to him just because Nate Silver was right all along. Read more on Suck It, Nate Silver! Joe Scarborough Apologizes For Nothing…
  open the pod bay door hal

Looks Like Tagg Romney Has Already Leaked Next Week’s ‘Election’ ‘Results’

It is time, once again, to PANIC! As you can see above, Unskewed Polls has released a new chart that at first blush doesn’t seem to have any basis in reality. So why would they post such a hilarious result? Well, you have not been keeping up with Your Wonkette. Let’s rectify that now! It is so that when they steal the election, they can point to this “polling” and say the results were in line, duh. As Doktor Zoom explainered with an assist from Harper’s, the GOPpies are ready and able to steal every precinct that doesn’t count paper ballots by hand. As Your Editrix explained a week or whatever ago, one of only six voting machine vendors is owned by former Bain employees. (The others, per Dok’s Harper’s article, are pretty much all owned by the Koch Brothers and run by actual felons, except for the ones that are owned by Tagg Romney.) And as some former NSA analyst explained (but we didn’t post on it, because “depressed”), the way they steal your votes is by siphoning them from the largest precincts. Oh yes, and as The Grio explained this week also too, they are already disappearing early votes from the totals in heavily African-American and Democratic Broward County precincts. But that one, first described as a “computer glitch,” was totally just a woman who couldn’t do numbers good and stuff. Read more on Looks Like Tagg Romney Has Already Leaked Next Week’s ‘Election’ ‘Results’…
  they have always been at war with george zimmerman

Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller Begins To Stuff Its Trayvon Coverage Into The Memory Hole

There’s no way of knowing whether it was Joe Scarborough’s public shaming of them (it was Joe Scarborough’s public shaming of them) but Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller has not only gone almost a whole day without smearing Trayvon Martin’s character or calling just about all black people “professional race baiters,” it’s also begun the painful and arduous task of walking back its horrifying coverage. Their latest story bears what must have been a galling headline to write: New Details Darken Outlook for Zimmerman’s Claim of Self-Defense. It is underneath a gigantic piece alleging some sort of ill-defined venality by Sen. Carl Levin for wanting to install electric car chargers at the Capitol. Obviously, you wouldn’t want a proper walk-back above the fold. Read more on Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller Begins To Stuff Its Trayvon Coverage Into The Memory Hole…
  when you've lost joe you've lost america

Joe Scarborough Discovers ‘Disgusting’ Daily Caller Racism, Is Surprised (VIDEO)

We wonder who Joe Scarborough is talking about here, when he calls out rightwing websites for being “beneath contempt” in their treatment of Trayvon Martin! (No we don’t. He is talking about Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller.) Noting that the Daily Caller had breathlessly presented Trayvon Martin’s Twitter feed as fodder for the poor oppressed whites of the world to note what a bad bad boy Trayvon Martin was, Scarborough practically throws up at the disingenuousness of presenting something so “innocuous … I can show you a lot of white kids, from suburban neighborhoods … come on.” Then he goes on and on and on about some on the right (Tucker Carlson) being “disgusting, warped, twisted and distorted.” Transcript and video of Joe Scarborough calling out Tucker Carlson for hurting America, after the jump. Read more on Joe Scarborough Discovers ‘Disgusting’ Daily Caller Racism, Is Surprised (VIDEO)…
  dick moves

Unliked Pundit Mark Halperin Is Suspended From TV, World Happy Now

Mark Halperin is that guy nobody likes who writes/jabbers about politics and Washington. In this way, he is also every pundit jabbering about Washington and politics on the cable news, but he is also especially awful. So the world rejoiced a few minutes ago when MSNBC suspended Halperin for calling Barack Obama a “dick.” This is what Halperin said, on live television: “I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday.” Well sure, everybody thinks Obama is kind of a dick, or totally a dick, but in every case “a dick,” but one cannot say this on the teevee, so good-bye forever, Mark! Video? Yes, we have video. Read more on Unliked Pundit Mark Halperin Is Suspended From TV, World Happy Now…
  guys who say stuff on teevee

MSNBC Suspends Joe Scarborough For Political Contributions

When Keith Olbermann was suspended by MSNBC two weeks ago for making campaign contributions, everyone pointed out that Joe Scarborough had done the same thing. But apparently those were contributions MSNBC had approved, whereas they did not know about some new contributions that were dug up by America’s Media Diglett, Politico. So now Scarborough has been suspended for two days too! Hooray! Everything is balanced out now! Everyone on MSNBC has learned their lesson and will never hold a political opinion ever again, unless it’s for ratings. Or else they will face the wrath of getting two days off from work. Read more on MSNBC Suspends Joe Scarborough For Political Contributions…
  the nightmare ticket

Mike Bloomberg and Joe Scarborough Maybe Going To Unite For 2012 Run

Huffington Post celebrity vag-slip blog intern Howard Fineman has heard some terrorist chatter around New York about a very interesting thing: New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg and MSNBC morning-bro Joe Scarborough running as an independent presidential ticket in 2012. Yes, Joe Scarborough. It doesn’t make much sense to us either. Scarborough denied that any serious discussion has happened, obviously because he doesn’t want to deny such an attractive idea. Bloomberg’s people didn’t respond to Fineman, obviously because it’s mortifying for any man to hear people say he’s thinking about running for president with Joe Scarborough. And that’s not the worst part of this. Some people actually told Fineman that Scarborough could run at the top of the ticket. Read more on Mike Bloomberg and Joe Scarborough Maybe Going To Unite For 2012 Run…
  dead-president fanboys

Koran-Burner Totally PUNKED’D By Jon Meacham On ‘Morning Joe’

Florida’s attention-craved international superstar pastorman went on the Morning Joe today, but it was a total goof: They didn’t interview him at all! Instead Mika Brzezinski throws to a soon-to-be unemployed Jon Meacham, who is about to pee himself from excitement and adrenaline. Meacham tells some slash fiction story he wrote about the Jesus in Newsweek that nobody read, and the show doesn’t even let the pastor respond, because EPIC BURN (more epic than a Koran fire). But that’s not all! Read more on Koran-Burner Totally PUNKED’D By Jon Meacham On ‘Morning Joe’…
  next: that a nad dropping out of her shorts?

BREAKING FOOTAGE: 234-Year-Old ‘America’ Experiment Collapses On Self

This is a pretty informative montage of cable-news journalism that TPM has put together. Sure, we’ve known for 40+ years that Pat Buchanan was a lesbian, after he let it slip mid-sentence in one of those “Southern Strategy” memos. But Joe Scarborough? Didn’t know Joe Scarborough was a lesbian. CORRECTION: We knew Joe Scarborough was a lesbian. [YouTube] Read more on BREAKING FOOTAGE: 234-Year-Old ‘America’ Experiment Collapses On Self…
  socialized medicine

Chris Matthews On Healthcare Rampage

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Oh sure he is an angry spittle-flecked chicken and all, but this doesn’t mean Chris Matthews is always wrong, for example this morning when he yelled at Joe and Mika for being pussyfooting sellouts on the healthcare issue. Joe’s all, “But I am concerned about costs,” and Chris does not actually filibuster that much (!), just keeps saying “Well do you want working class people to have healthcare or not?” and Mika is just so ANGRY that nobody will let her speak. (Which it’s true is pretty goddamn rude.) [Morning Joe] Read more on Chris Matthews On Healthcare Rampage…
  party crashes

Wonkette Eats Fancy Dinner With Important Journalistic Reporters And Slimeball Politicians

On Monday night your two Wonkette associate editors attended a Dinner Party thrown by the digest The Week, called The Week Opinion Awards, and we’re only posting about it now because hey, shut up. It was somewhat “A-List,” meaning (a) why the poo were we invited and (b) why the poo did we go? Because after only four seconds at the opening cocktail party, your male associate editor was begging Sara to leave. But two full glasses of gin over the next four seconds changed that attitude into “LET’S GO FUCK WITH LINDSEY GRAHAM” and we stayed for the dinner after all. Read more on Wonkette Eats Fancy Dinner With Important Journalistic Reporters And Slimeball Politicians…
  everyone is mean on television

Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that’s been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched “cnbc wrong” on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn’t even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what’s a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean? Read more on Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES…
  D.C. crime is unstoppable

Famous MSNBC Host Mika Brzezinski Wuz Mugged!

Mika Brzezinski got mugged this morning waiting for her cab outside a DC hotel. That just sucks. So Joe Scarborough just keeps talking about it, while Mika says, “It’s fine. MOVING ON.” [Washington Times] Read more on Famous MSNBC Host Mika Brzezinski Wuz Mugged!…
  nation of effetes

Romney: I Stalk Obama In Online Porn Chat Rooms

Here is Mormon candidate Mitt Romney on the Morning Joe program today, being an idiot. He says Obama is “well-spoken” and “attractive” and a hot “internet date” with whom he wants to engage in coitus. But! Not presidential! (Oh and hey, Joe Scarborough, you’re pretty good here, considering you host a chatty morning show on a cable news network! We hear… real questions, and facts, countering the McCain team’s psychobabble! Keep this up hmm?) [MSNBC] Read more on Romney: I Stalk Obama In Online Porn Chat Rooms…
 

Terry McAuliffe Continues To Pleasantly Embarrass Clinton Campaign

Here’s nutty Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe making good on his promise to do shots with Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski, today, at like 7 a.m. They are downing “Puerto Rican rum,” as Terry gladly points out — it’s a very exclusive brand known as “regular Bacardi.” Then they talk about politics for a while, and Mika touches him at the end, and now we know that they are having an affair, forever. [MSNBC] Read more on Terry McAuliffe Continues To Pleasantly Embarrass Clinton Campaign…
 

Joe Scarborough & Hillary Clinton Like-Like Each Other

Apparently, Joe Scarborough has been nice to Hillary Clinton recently. Did you hear about this? No? Must’ve started during that Wright scandal, you know, when the Main Stream Media realized Barry was a freakish, church-going Muslim. In any event, here is Hillary in her Outer Space costume flirting with the host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, for the first minute or so. Then it’s just policy-talk or some such. [MSNBC] Read more on Joe Scarborough & Hillary Clinton Like-Like Each Other…
 

It’s Almost Three A.M., And MSNBC Is Killing Your Babies

newVideoPlayer("ringer2_wonkette.flv", 463, 387,"");Here’s MSNBC’s panel debating the merits of Hillary’s ad — political effectiveness vs. truth vs. fearmongering. What this tense debate reveals: Rachel Maddow is a libtard; Eugene Robinson is a moderate liberal; Pat Buchanan is an old white Republican; Joe Scarborough is a younger douchebag Republican. Who knew? Read more on It’s Almost Three A.M., And MSNBC Is Killing Your Babies…