Tag Archives: joe scarborough

  Yes we are entertained

John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear

Not a good day to be John McCain
Did you hear the one about how Donald Trump thinks John McCain is a L-O-S-E-R for getting captured and held as a prisoner of war that one time, in the Nam, for five and a half years? Of course you did, because we, along with the rest of the entire US of A, can’t stop talking about it. Read more on John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear…
  Trump endorses Clinton

Donald Trump Says Bill Clinton Was Best, Classiest President Ever, Too Bad About Hillary’s Age

Thinking face.
Donald Trump, who is so FOR REAL a serious contender for US American president in 2016, has a favorite president of his own, and it is Bill Clinton. WHAT? But we thought Trump was a super Republican, here to Make America Great Again™, after evil tyrant Democrat Barack Obama ruined it! But yes, it is true, Bill Clinton was Trump’s favorite recent president, at least until Donald Trump becomes president, and also Clinton would have been an even better president if he hadn’t met all those whores. Trump told all this to Joe “Morning Joe” Scarborough, on the “Morning Joe” program Thursday morning: Read more on Donald Trump Says Bill Clinton Was Best, Classiest President Ever, Too Bad About Hillary’s Age…
  For his next trick he'll teach high school civics

Sen. Tom Cotton’s Iran Mash Note Not Working Out That Well For Him Actually

Now you listen here Mister Sassy Iranian Foreign Minister!
Sen. Tom Cotton, Arkansas teabagger and the world’s foremost expert on how to win friends and influence people, appeared on “Morning Joe” to explain why he is not a traitor for writing a letter to the leaders of Iran explaining that President Obama doesn’t really have any authority, so ignore him. Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton’s Iran Mash Note Not Working Out That Well For Him Actually…
  More of this please

Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To

Call them by their proper titles: Legislative Badasses
What have we here? Oh, just another plan from two of Wonkette’s most favorite legislators, Bestest Senator Ever Elizabeth Warren and Inaugural Legislative Badass award winner Rep. Elijah Cummings, to save the middle class from the Republican plan to destroy it, with a new thing they are calling the Middle Class Prosperity Project. Read more on Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To…
  Why aren't the Obamas in bad-parent jail?

Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Beyonce Still Hasn’t Resigned In Disgrace

Mike Huckabee, perpetual maybe-presidential candidate, wrote a book about what’s wrong with America. Everything, basically, is wrong with America — including the Obamas allowing their daughters to get their hippity-hop on to Beyonce’s whore music. But it’s not as if he wanted anyone to notice that. That anyone in the media is all, “Huh? What?” just proves his point that America is a cesspool of Indecency and Immorality and other I-words. (The Huckster is also fond of the greatest I-word in the Bible, which no Republicans ever talk about, ever, but it rhymes with dimpeachment.) Read more on Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Beyonce Still Hasn’t Resigned In Disgrace…
  frontier justice

Rick Perry Is The Best Secret Service Agent, Gonna Kill You Real, REAL Dead

Oooh, I hates tyranny, and I hates jackboots, and I hates gubmint!
Yosemite Rick Perry, the rootinest, tootinest governor in all the land, was in NEW YORK CITY today to spend a few minutes making merry with the Zoo Crew on “Morning Joe.” The biggest surprise of the entire interview was that Joe Scarborough managed to resist flinging himself across the table to plant a sloppy, wet kiss on Yosemite Rick. The least surprising part was when Yosemite Rick let everyone know that, unlike those fancy, arugula-eatin’ Secret Service agents what guard that faggy perfesser Barack Obama, his security detail wouldn’t put up with no interlopers in the Texas governor’s mansion, no sir. Read more on Rick Perry Is The Best Secret Service Agent, Gonna Kill You Real, REAL Dead…
  Say It Ain't So Joe! OK: It Ain't So

Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass

They just know some things
Yesterday, we had a sad because The New York Times reported that the late Sen. Daniel K. Inouye was the unnamed senator who grabbed Kirsten Gillibrand’s stomach and warned her not to lose any more weight, because “I like my girls chubby.” But today, we’re much less worried that the deceased senator from Hawaii and WW II hero was the responsible party. Not because any new information has surfaced, but simply because Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski have decided they just don’t believe it, since Daniel Inouye obviously wouldn’t have done that. Thrill as the two MSNBC morning show hosts sift through the evidence: Read more on Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass…
  clipbait

You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)

yeah, that one hurt
Jon Stewart had some fun with the seemingly eternal pre-campaign campaign season Tuesday, as Hillary Clinton flew to Iowa so she could once again announce that she may soon have an announcement to make about running for president. And now that she’s attended the 37th annual Tom Harkin Steak Fry, the die is cast. Maybe. (Stewart was most surprised to hear that retiring Sen. Harkin has a steak fry at all, especially after “all those years spinning my wheels at Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s Crawfish Boil.”) Read more on You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  #MadAboutAThing

MSNBC Welcomes Back Hitler Fanboy Racist Piece Of Filth Pat Buchanan Because That’s All Behind Us Now

Every now and then, cable news gets something right. Not often — see, for example, that time CNN reported that the Supreme Court had overturned Obamacare, except it was the opposite of that, or see, for example everything that has ever aired on Fox “News.” But sometimes. Read more on MSNBC Welcomes Back Hitler Fanboy Racist Piece Of Filth Pat Buchanan Because That’s All Behind Us Now…
  reunited and it feels so good

Are You Ready For Make-Up Sex With Mitt Romney, America?

America, are you ready to take a chance again? Are you ready to have the white-hot flames of passion lick at your nether regions? Are you pining for a real man who will sweep you off your feet? Are you wishing you’d never lost that lovin’ feeling? Then America, you are so ready for the Mitt Romney resurgence. Yes, Mitt is back, baby, and he is blander than ever. Read more on Are You Ready For Make-Up Sex With Mitt Romney, America?…
  shhh the adults are talking

Watch Mika Brzezinski Shut Down Joe Scarborough As He Sputters About Climate Change

We do not usually watch “Morning Joe” unless we are looking for tips as to whether to tuck our shirt collar inside our sweaters or not these days, and also too because “Morning Joe” is a monumentally stupid name. However, we will always endure a few minutes of it whenever it involves Mika Brzezinski telling Joe Scarborough to STFU because that is a thing we yell at our teevee every time we are forced to watch Joe Scarborough do anything. Let’s set the stage for the Mika smackdown, shall we? Living breathing receding hairline Marco Rubio showed up on “This Week” on Sunday to explain that he just doesn’t believe in climate change, probably because of Jesus or that his head is too far in the sand, or perhaps just a simple little difference of opinion. Read more on Watch Mika Brzezinski Shut Down Joe Scarborough As He Sputters About Climate Change…
  the democrats have always been at war with the women

Rand Paul, Joe Scarborough: It Is Probably Hillary’s Fault Bill Clinton Got That Beej

In case you missed it because you were sleeping off your Saturday hangover, or had something better to do like watching paint dry, Sen. Rand “Aqua Buddha” Paul mansplained, as only a Republican can, how there isn’t really a war on women, except there is, but Democrats started it. (Also, he’s rubber, you’re glue, and YOUR MOM. Oh SNAP!) Oh, and the war that isn’t a war except it’s a war by Democrats is over now, the women won because his niece goes to Cornell, let us weep for the men. If that sounds like the same old arglebargle we’re always hearing from Republicans, it is. But Paul offered a new twist: The war on women that is not a war on women but is a war on women except that it is over now was started by Bill Clinton getting a blowjob, and that means Hillary cannot be president. WHAT?!? you say. Surely, you must be joking! No, we are not joking, and don’t call us Shirley. He really said it! Read more on Rand Paul, Joe Scarborough: It Is Probably Hillary’s Fault Bill Clinton Got That Beej…
  today in hippies

Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now

What even the fuck, “Joe” Scarborough? We thought we could count on you to be our sexy douchey conservadaddy (shut up wonkers), and it turns out you are just another emoprog #Occupy communist pansy whining about income inequality and Warren Buffett’s secretary’s tax rate. First you came to take all our guns and put them in gun jail, then you called Sean Hannity a racist vulture douche (direct quote, we think), and now THIS? Then you look at what doesn’t make sense to I guess 95% of Americans? That the richest Americans, the richest Americans are paying 14, 15, 16% tax rates. While the secretaries are paying twice that much. Why we don’t have a minimum tax rate of 30% is beyond me. And I say that especially because of all the billionaires and gazillionaires. If you’re not getting a paycheck across your desk, chances are good you’re figuring how to pay 16%, 17%. That is obscene. It’s wrong and Americans, 95% of Americans think that’s wrong. And then the same thing with the off shore accounts. You know? My feeling if people want to move their people offshore, they need to move offshore with their money. Seriously. If they want to shield their money from taxes and go offshore, you’re not welcome in the United States of America. Follow your damn money. Just stop right there, you un-American pussy. No, really, stop, or that nice toddler Ben Shapiro will never be able to catch up with you on his little rubber baby legs, and put you UNDER ARREST. Read more on Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now…