Wonkette

More information has leaked about the Straight Talk Express destroying America’s minivans in Miami on Wednesday, a.k.a. “The Monica Lewinsky Scandal.” What of the bus passenger asshole Joe Lieberman, was he hurt in the crash? No, but he was attacked by a biracial cake: “A little more to that Miami traffic accident yesterday involving Joe Lieberman aboard the Straight Talk Express: Turns out the impact sent a staffer’s chocolate birthday cake with thick white frosting smack into the Connecticut senator.” EAT IT UP, GRAMPY. MORE »

John McCain’s armored mammoth-of-death, the famous Straight Talk Express bus, completely destroyed a minivan making a right turn yesterday in Miami. The minivan was holding a black person, maybe, we don’t actually know. The Straight Talk Express was holding Joe Lieberman. *Just saying.* MORE »

At about the 7-minute mark in this clip from yesterday’s Meet the Press, Joe Lieberman nervously clears his throat and giggles that John McCain has not had any sexual reassignment surgery (that we know of!) and he “remains all male. There’s no question about that.” However, it is a known fact that 98 percent of Republican male candidates have their human testicles removed and replaced with TRUCK NUTZ. What is John McCain hiding? [Meet the Press/YouTube]

An angry Connecticut Democrat says that he will rent a very large floating rat and display it outside the XCel Energy Center in St. Paul if Joe Lieberman decides to attend the Republican National Convention, which he hasn’t been invited to. This angry guy, Ed Anderson, says he is “ready to apply for permits” and everything, which is tantamount to imminent violence. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s still legitimate to mock and deride? Why, political cartoons, of course! Join in the hate, after the jump. MORE »

Yesterday Joe Lieberman addressed Christians United For Israel, the dumb thing headed by Pastor John Hagee, Lieberman’s best friend. Hagee used to be John McCain’s best friend, and they spent many a evening talking about how Hitler was a messenger of God, the message being “European Jews, what an oxymoron!” Joe Lieberman introduced himself to the creepy group with this appropriately creepy message: “I am your brother Joseph.” Then: “I don’t agree with everything Pastor Hagee has said… I will tell you tonight the bond that I feel with Pastor Hagee and each and every one of you is much stronger than that and I am proud to stand with you tonight.” Ha ha, Connecticut voters. [NYT/The Caucus]

• BETCHA HE’S A VIRGIN, TOO: It’s like two quarter-pound stools of alien space shit crashed into a toxic waste dumpster in Stamford, Connecticut, fucked, and out came their mutilated, blood-soaked carcass of a baby rat-child, Senator Joseph Lieberman. [Huffington Post]

Who would make the most terrible running mate for John McCain, an ill-tempered old fraud who is despised by everybody in the Republican Party? Joe Lieberman, of course — another sour old geezer who is despised by everybody in the Democratic Party! It’s a match made in heaven … and here’s why! MORE »

Here’s everybody’s favorite Democrat, Vinegar Joe Lieberman, talking in that repulsive slimeball Holy Joe voice about the “advice” he gave Barack Obama, even though Obama is black. [YouTube]

A couple of weeks ago the McCain campaign launched “Citizens for McCain,” an initiative headed by anarchist Sen. Joe Lieberman and designed to woo disenchanted Democrats towards WALNUTS! Let’s put that in better perspective: a Democratic-caucusing Senator and former Democratic vice presidential candidate is literally leading the effort to bleed the Democratic party to death. But Grampa Joe is not alone! Over the weekend, the McCain campaign released a list of 30 “prominent Democratic and unaffiliated leaders and activists who have joined ‘Citizens for McCain.’” One of the Important Leaders on the list is “Former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Philip Frye (West Virginia).” It turns out that this “Philip” — pictured here — prefers “Icky” over his Christian name, and ran for governor of West Virginia as a Democrat, as a stunt, to piss off Governor Bob Wise, who was sleeping with his wife. Joe Lieberman should just quit now, because he won’t find any Democratic leaders more Prominent than this guy. MORE »