joe lieberman
A Wonkette Farewell To Joe Lieberman, With Traditional Advice Re: Door, Ass
Lo, Wonkettians, the day you have either neither dreaded nor anticipated, but instead have felt a collective “meh?” about has finally arrived. Yes, the not-at-all-beloved Joe Lieberman, America’s droopiest senator, after announcing close to two years ago that he would leave the Senate after the 2012 elections, has thank god finally left the Senate. Let’s visit [...]
When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story
Guess what? It is a new day, so it is time to talk about Lindsey Graham again. We will get to write about this until the end of time, apparently. This poses a problem for yr Wonkette because there are only so many old-timey gay ads we can use in stories about him. Fortunately, there [...]
GOP Senators Beg Frugal Pentagon to Request More Expensive War Toys
A group of weepy warlords in the Senate including ol’ Jowls McGoo Joe Lieberman are busily soiling their Depends over a $487 billion planned reduction in defense spending over the next decade that was included in the White House fiscal year 2013 budget. But know who is not having a whiny meltdown over the proposed [...]
GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder!
Hey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the “political” “gimmick” that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan’s secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate as losers like you means punishing them for their success. ONLY YOU ARE TO BE PUNISHED, [...]
Internet Seeks ‘Off Switch’ For Joe Lieberman
Fearmongering terror toad Joe Lieberman is the worst person in the Senate — not because he’s the dumbest, or the most personally repulsive, but because he has spent the past decade using his supposed “credibility” as a Democrat senator to wage domestic war against the American People. His latest attempt is an Internet Gulag for [...]
Joe Lieberman Pretends To Care About Insider Trading In Congress
Old persons’ program 60 Minutes is about the only thing on the teevee that occasionally does journalism. So when the nation’s half-dozing seniors saw this report air last Sunday about how the representatives in Washington have turned the Halls of Congress into a Temple of Insider-Trading Whoredom, you knew there would be some serious upheaval, [...]
John McCain And Lindsey Graham’s Old BFF Muammar Gaddafi Is Dead
We’ll probably do more on this shortly, but for the moment: one can only imagine the quantity of wet Depends flying around the McLieberHamBiscuits team offices in celebration right now — crazy old murderous dictator Muammar Qaddafi is super duper dead as a door nail after NTC fighters found him hiding in a drainage pipe. Yes, [...]
Recent Gaddafi Fan Lindsey Graham Now Wants Him Dead
Hey look, it’s the three bestest friends ever, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, and Joe Lieberman! Who’s that fourth guy they’re with? Are they looking to add a member to this terrific team of winning policy minds? Oh, it’s Muammar Gaddafi. This must have been taken a million years ago, right, considering all of them now [...]
Joe Lieberman Already Planning To Invade Syria
Oh, look what you did. You gave Joe Lieberman precedent to invade pretty much any country on the planet under an authoritarian regime. He says it’s “consistent” to invade all these places. Well, he’s not wrong! Lieberman’s days may numbered, and he probably should be ignored by everybody at this point, but somehow we get [...]
Joe Lieberman Learns Lesson From Iraq: We Need To Invade Libya Now
Look, Joe Lieberman knows what we did wrong in Iraq: We didn’t invade soon enough! Mr. Lieberman and others argue that the risks of waiting may be far greater than the risk of an early, decisive military intervention. He acknowledged that as in Iraq, the United States might unleash an uncertain future of tribal rivalry [...]
Defense Contractors Sad Lieberman Won’t Be Giving Them Money Anymore
Tragedy last week: Death-machine makers are losing one of their “friends with benefits,” insufferable phlegmy Senate goblin Joe Lieberman. Making matters worse, the voters of Connecticut have also gotten rid of Chris Dodd, for being terrible. “With both of the state’s senators departing Congress, companies like United Technologies will have to scramble to shore up [...]
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