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Tag: joe lieberman

New Hampshire’s Kelly Ayotte And Maggie Hassan Gonna Lady-Fight For Senate Seat

Happy Easter, Wonkers! We hope you have all been inspired by the annual rites celebrating the rebirth of pagan fertility gods as distilled through Christian cultural hegemony. Or that you'll at least chow down on half-priced chocolate bunnies tomorrow....
Life of the sexxx party

Lindsey Graham Dropping Out Of Race To Spend More Time Yelling ‘Bye Felicia!’ At ISIS

Poor Lindsey Graham. He thought his strategy of beginning every debate by gravely weeping in the general direction of America about how ISIS is coming to get us all in our sleep, UNLESS we elect a president with iron...
Ew gay.

GOP Candidates Jewsplain Jewing To Jewishes. Goes Well As You’d Expect, Only Worse

We all of us know Republican presidential candidates are far more comfortable addressing Jesus-Americans -- what with our country being a Christian nation, for Christians only, especially in the Oval Office. But on Thursday, they explored their bicurosity about The...
We sure showed 'em

Aw, Man, Does This Mean We Don’t Get To Do War To Iran?

Bad news for bloodlusters who've been wanting, for years, to Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran. Despite all of the warnings from the very same stupid dicks who were completely wrong about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction that turned out to just be...
Yes it's a pony. But it could have been a pic of Lindsey Graham. Count your blessings.

Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed.

Loath though we are to ever say anything especially nice about Lindsey Graham, given his penchant for wanting to send Americans to bomb as many distant lands as possible, we have to give him an "attaboy" on his remarkably...
The Lindsey Graham Sex Game Show, Starring Lindsey Graham

President Lindsey Graham Doesn’t Need First Lady, Hos Can Just Take Turns

Confirmed bachelor and official ladies' man Sen. Lindsey Graham, who is under the impression he is running for president, got asked a real tough question Tuesday: Hey, since you don't have a pretty, doting wife, who will be the...
Nope.

Lindsey Graham Promises To Be Butchest, Scariest President EVER!

Dignified and genteel Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Other Southern White Guys) announced today that he will be seeking to lose the presidential election to Hillary Clinton, and he has two messages for US Americans: 1. He is the toughest, most...
Former Gov. Haley Barbour (R-Sorryville)

Republican White Guy Real Sorry If Anyone Was Offended By Racist Slur Because It Is A Day

Stop us if you've heard this one before. (You have, but keep reading.) Some crusty old white guy Republican dude says a racist thing. There's a good chance he doesn't even realize it is racist because he is too...
Here's one idea that will never work

President Lindsey Graham Will Be Great For Rich White Men

Lindsey Graham, the senator from South Carolina, has always seemed content to be the third wheel, the sidekick, the woman behind behind the man. He was the weakest, most soft-spoken link in the ménage à trois that was John...

A Wonkette Farewell To Joe Lieberman, With Traditional Advice Re: Door, Ass

Lo, Wonkettians, the day you have either neither dreaded nor anticipated, but instead have felt a collective "meh?" about has finally arrived. Yes, the not-at-all-beloved Joe Lieberman, America's droopiest senator, after announcing close to two years ago that he...

When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story

Guess what? It is a new day, so it is time to talk about Lindsey Graham again. We will get to write about this until the end of time, apparently. This poses a problem for yr Wonkette because there...

GOP Senators Beg Frugal Pentagon to Request More Expensive War Toys

A group of weepy warlords in the Senate including ol' Jowls McGoo Joe Lieberman are busily soiling their Depends over a $487 billion planned reduction in defense spending over the next decade that was included in the White House...

GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder!

Hey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the "political" "gimmick" that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan's secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate...

Here Is Your Official Wonkette State of the Union Anti-Sobriety Plan!

YEE-HAW it is time for Barack Obama's third (and possibly final) State of the Union address! How excited is everyone, to listen to our President describe the many ways in which our country's problems are mostly the fault of...

Internet Seeks ‘Off Switch’ For Joe Lieberman

Fearmongering terror toad Joe Lieberman is the worst person in the Senate -- not because he's the dumbest, or the most personally repulsive, but because he has spent the past decade using his supposed "credibility" as a Democrat senator...

Obama Celebrates Thanksgiving By Reminding America of Its Dysfunction

Aw, Sasha and Malia Obama looked sort of annoyed and bored, like the rest of America, during their dad's ritual Thanksgiving lecture explaining how it would be impossible for him to do so much as rescue a single freaking...