Afghanistan always seemed like a fine place to make one’s fortune, what with its colorful poppy fields, rich and varied traditions of sculpture and architecture, and snow leopards slinking in and out of mountain caves. Exotic and fun, right? But your reviewer just learned that there’s some kind of war going on over there right [...]
Newt Gingrich and the Media (also a Christian ska band) have been promising America that the Democrats will lose everything — even their activist gay judges — come November. This is weird because polls tell us voters still hate Republicans a lot, even more than they hate the Demtards and their socialist medicines. Joe Biden [...]
The statistics whizzes at Public Policy Polling called up almost 600 Ameritards to ask them who was the coolest among these five individuals — Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or Joe Biden. Everyone said, “Joe Biden, cuz he’s rad.” OK, OK, no they didn’t, because Biden is never allowed to win anything.
We won the Iraq War again, everybody! But because Obama was busy eating crayfish or whatever and it’s still summer-vacation time and nobody actually wants to think about Iraq at all — despite the billions of dollars PER MONTH we continue to piss away over there — poor old Joe Biden was sent to Baghdad. [...]
The USDA should be dissolved, because it makes zero sense to have a separate government death panel just for Agriculture. [Matt Yglesias] The U.S. can only send a few helicopters to rescue flood victims in Pakistan. Maybe if Wikileaks didn’t start the War in Afghanistan we could have helped out more? [Think Progress] Many ignorant [...]
Joe Biden has apparently been personally working very hard to get stuff passed, because at a fundraiser today, he said “the heavy lifting is over.” The boxes have been moved to America’s new apartment! The Hispanic fellows have been given a tip! And pizza has been ordered! Congratulations, the U.S. government is done for now, [...]
Wait, what’s this? A newish web-sight from Our American Prezzzident? It is called Healthcare.gov, and it is a special place where you and your best friends can learn more about interesting things. Did you know that it is foolish to eat congealed bacon grease for every meal and then whine about how you can’t fit [...]
The Federal Election Commission has ordered Joe Biden’s 2008 presidential campaign (ha!) to pay $219,000 back to the government after finding good ol’ Joe made some record-keeping errors, used someone’s charter plane without paying as much as he should have for it, and somehow raised too much money from some people. Yes, the campaign that [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonHas the long, oily nightmare of oil spewing out of the Earth’s crust in the Gulf of Mexico finally ended? Maybe! BP seems to think so, and they sure haven’t been wrong on this point yet. But even if the actual petroleum-puking is at an end, we need to assess and clean [...]
Colorado Republican Scott McInnis is running for governor, and it turns out he plagiarized some stuff one time. And then people saw that and found some more stuff he plagiarized. So the story is that some oppo research people went and bought themselves a De-Luxe Plagiarism Detector Machine, and now voters will not elect this [...]
Beloved Wonkette star Alvin Greene reached a higher plane of existence this week, learning to reproduce via binary fusion, resulting in a series of plastic automatons and a unique, more born-again approximation of our #1 Democrat. The Wonkette bathhouse welcomed a brand new columnist to our wet sauna. Sarah Palin assembled a slideshow on her [...]
Last week, Joe Biden was at a fundraiser for Senate candidate Lee Fisher when he opened his big mouth. “LeBron James is coming back,” Biden said. Last night, LeBron James announced that some “privileged” kids were getting scholarships to the University of Phoenix so that they will get a bad education and also that he [...]
Joe Biden opened his heart to chronic e-mail forwarder Mike Allen during a three-day trip to Iraq over Independence Day Weekend. From these conversations, Allen discerned that Biden is a “pol’s pol” who “emphasized the human connection in discussing his Washington relationships,” and that the Biden war administration “has no intention of deviating from its [...]
