John McCain Will Be Our Next Vice President!
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
We have been wondering what fantastic campaign stunt John McCain might pull next. Declare war on Iceland? Suspend his campaign for Rosh Hashanah? But clearly we were not thinking big enough. John McCain will announce shortly that he’s such a bipartisan maverick he is switching parties and running for Number Two, because country above self and all that. Plus he hates Joe Biden. [YouTube via Top of the Ticket]
We have been wondering what fantastic campaign stunt John McCain might pull next. Declare war on Iceland? Suspend his campaign for Rosh Hashanah? But clearly we were not thinking big enough. John McCain will announce shortly that he’s such a bipartisan maverick he is switching parties and running for Number Two, because country above self and all that. Plus he hates Joe Biden. [YouTube via Top of the Ticket]









This is pretty much perfect, except maybe somewhere you could squeeze in, “That Joe person is crying about his dead family?! –> Shout Maverick several times,” which is something that happened. [

This is our Part III, of this painful debate between Gwen Ifill and Joe Biden. Meanwhile, sprightly snow clown Sarah Palin is reciting notes and folkisms from her podium. It is weird. Whether it’s weirder than any other part of this freak two-year-long presidential campaign, we won’t know until … the next freak event. Agh, she can’t pronounce “nuclear” either. Well, hey, our
Trying. To keep. Blood pressure. Down. Musn’t DIE. Watching the lady lie about literally everything. Oh, she has some complete sentences alright. “Congratulations.” You’re still not a human though! STILL NOT THERE! Oh and Joe — less numbers! We realize numbers are your defense mechanism whenever you really want to say “SHUT THE HELL UP FRAUDBOT,” but still. Here’s the
Happy Night of the Century, fellow Americans! We have longed for this night, and we have dreaded it. Poor Gwen Ifill was walked to the stage like some dead pope, the contestants are here and ready to go,
Oh crap they’re showing this on every channel, aren’t they? So that means The Office won’t be on tonight? Goddamnit. We were just going to watch that and make up stuff for the debate liveblogging. Now we will watch the debate and still just make up stuff for the debate liveblogging. Go blogs! Let’s see what the CNN is saying, before the debate.
Gotta admit, we’re feeling a teeny bit of pressure for tonight’s liveblogging. The last time we remember the comedy stakes being anywhere near as high as this was the GOP YouTube Debate last November. (Memories!) (Sigh.) Come back at 8:30 ET for the pre-game liveblog! Until then, we’ve compiled the last two days’ worth of YouTubes and widgets and websites and assorted Internet junk about Sarah Palin that you people make thousands of each day and then e-mail to us so that Ken can mark them all as spam. Well, here are your links, MERRY CHRISTMAS fuckaz.
Wonkette Fly-Over Correspondent Stephen Martin is at the scene of tonight’s Palin-Biden debate in St. Louis, trying to find out why Dr. Dean is such a dick: “Just ran into Howard Dean in the campus bookstore at
What’s even better than watching these terrifying clips of Sarah Palin and Katie Couric every night? Reading our favorite chit-chat blog, National Review’s