joe biden
Wingnuts Furious: Joe Biden’s Got A Real Purty Mouth
Wingnuts are furious, because … well, we honestly have no idea actually. Joe Biden talked about the movie Deliverance, and how when he asks guys what they would have done if they had been tied to a tree and raped, they don’t say “I would go get the sheriff.” That is because they are embarrassed [...]
Whose Old Lady Is Old Handsome Joe Biden Stealing Now?
Yes it’s from a few days ago (from the Time 100 gala, the one where Rush Limbaugh thought Old Handsome Joe was drunk because he said Americans were resilient), but jesus how boring is today’s news?
Joe Biden Yells At Terrorists (Video)
So let us guess: people are mad at Joe Biden for yelling at terrorists, right? DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! Of course they are. People are mad because he said “knock-off jihadis” instead of “Islamic jihadists.” Also, he did not say “terrorismalqaeda” three times fast.
Hey, Let’s All Have Some Old Handsome Joe Biden!
As exciting as all this Boston stuff is, somehow sitting in front of our computers waiting for a boy to die does not feel “good.” We thought you could use this. Thank you, “DangerGuerrero,” for your service, and all our Twitter friends for sending it.
Now It Is Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden Who Keeps Going On Vacation
You guys, we are sorry to have to report this, but it seems your precious little boyfriend, one “Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden,” has been going on vacation. While the Yahoo commenters among us make do with their Valentine’s dinners of cut up hot dog’s and anniversary gifts of a punch to the nads and [...]
White House Addresses Nation’s Critical Shortage Of Biden
Some time ago — last Thursday? last year? — some “folks” were all HAI WHITE HOUSE WHY COME NO JOE BIDEN TEEVEE KARDASHIAN? Now, the White House has given us all the Biden we could ever want with its web series “Being Biden.”
No, Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Not Cool With You Slapping Your Lady (Unless It Is A Sexy Slap)
The sophisticated gentlemens of National Review Online are really, most terribly sorry for maligning our Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him and Keep Him. But why are they sorry? They are sorry they are so bad at Tubechop that it was even clear to BreitbartTV that they had cut him off in the middle [...]
Here Is Old Handsome Joe Biden To Dampen Your Panties
Wonkers, until now were your panties too dry? Well Old Handsome Joe Biden is from the government, and he’s here to help.
Joe Biden, Done Killing That Dog, Now Murdering Small Businesses With His Very Existence
WELL WELL WELL, Mean Ugly Joe Biden! Not only have you murdered a Secret Service dog just to watch it die — do you really want to be Hillary Clinton that bad?? — but now you are SCANDALOUSLY ruining small business owners’ parking garage takes during Mardi Gras, by not-actually-closing-down the parking garage at all. [...]
Now Joe Biden Has Killed A Dog, Just To Watch It Die
The field’s all yours, Hillary Clinton. Old Handsome Joe Biden will no longer be running for president now that the Drudge Report (and CBS) has explained that he killed this dog. Gail Collins will write 1,452,722 articles about Joe Biden killing this dog. Ghost Andrew Breitbart will produce a cookbook for how to fix the [...]
Biden Tells Jerk Baby Not To Be Afraid Of Democrats
Sorry to get this to you when it’s almost over, but we could not pull ourselves away long enough to even write a four-sentence post. Old Handsome Joe Biden is swearing in the Senate, and it is MESMERIZING. Crying babies! (Ted Cruz’s daughter, total brat-styley. Joe Biden, compassionately: “It’s a Democrat, I know, it’s okay.”) [...]
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