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Posts Tagged ‘joe biden’

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Sarah Palin Signs Books, Erick Erickson’s Right Teet

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
  • More fancy graphics in support of taxing marijuana cigarettes. [Hit & Run]
  • Matt is very worried about nonchalant archeologists digging up nuclear waste just for the fun of it. [Matt Yglesias]
  • Here is your masturbatory WHAT IF? of the day: WHAT IF Barack Obama is fatally electrocuted by a stingray BUT Joe Biden doesn’t want to be president SO Senator Byrd — who is old! — becomes president because he’s president pro tempore of the Senate? [The Corner]
  • Erick Erickson had an intimate discussion with Sarah Palin at a WaPo salon (?). [RedState]
  • The Anti-Defamation League continues to protect Barack Obama from Jew-haters. [The Caucus]

OFFICIALLY A MEME

Joe Biden Vaguely Connected To Another Car Crash

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

One week after killing someone, Joe Biden’s bloodthirsty stampede of vehicles has struck again. An NYPD car leading his motorcade crashed into a “livery cab” on its way to a Daily Show taping this afternoon. (Joe Biden’s on the Daily Show tonight — maybe he’ll have one of his patented “gaffes”!) These people driving cars tangentially connected to the vice president, who are they? And yes, it’s been several months, so Bob Novak jokes are cool. [NYDN, photo via "fleshtone" at Gothamist]


OH DEAR

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Whoa shit what were you thinkingJOE BIDEN’S MOTORCADE KILLS PEDESTRIAN: In the vice president’s latest “gaffe,” his motorcade, which was not carrying him at the time (so is it really a “motorcade” then?), struck and killed a pedestrian last night at 3 a.m. The big news here is that Joe Biden even has a motorcade. No but seriously that’s awful. [Raw Story]


POOR VICE PRESIDENT

Just Say It, Joe!

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Ay yi yi, Jesus christ with the fuckin' Cheney talk Joe Biden, who… as… everyone… is… well aware…??… has been in Eastern Europe for a long time, continues to be amazing: “Mr. Biden shrugged off Mr. Cheney’s point that the old administration left behind a review of Afghanistan. ‘Who cares what —’ he said, and then stopped himself to find another way to put it. (’I can see the headline now,’ said the famously free-wheeling vice president. ‘I’m getting better, guys.’)” The electric dog collar must have gone off. It would have been VERY CONTROVERSIAL for Joe Biden to say, “Who cares what Dick Cheney thinks?” Very Agnewian and enemy-marginalizing, as this week’s news would have it. [NYT]


CARTOON VIOLENCE

Hobo Euro-Mutants

Friday, October 9th, 2009

By the Comics Curmudgeon
America might be a land of shouty illiterate fartsacks who will die of massive Hardees-induced coronaries in filthy hospital waiting rooms while trying to fill out insurance forms with numbing fingers, but at least we aren’t Europeans, am I right? I mean, Jesus, think about the awful nadir of degradation it must be, being one of those people. Wait, what, you don’t think Europeans are terrible mutant monsters? Oh, ho ho, do I have news for you, after the jump. MORE »


THIS GUY

Friday, September 25th, 2009
  • JOE BIDEN WILL THROW DOWN ANYWHERE, ANYTIME: So Barack Obama wanted to get rid of Joe Biden for the day and settled on sending him to Georgia, to say “hi” to the flood victims down there. Immediately after arriving, Joe Biden addressed the local disaster relief officials and proclaimed, “They’re all doing one heck of a job.” Ha! Was he being intentionally ironic? No, because that requires the ability to be intentionally ironic. [Ben Smith]

BUT HE IS SUCH A NICE MAN

Gaffey Joe For Prez In 2016?

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

Whoa hey wait a minuteHere we have a pretty normal news analysis of Joe Biden: he’s described as frank but endearing, a clown but a statesman, maybe less visible than other Obama staffers but nonetheless a valued member of the team, etc etc… SNOOZE. But! “Aides said he might go for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016. He would be 74 upon taking office, but his staff insists that’s not too old.” Well, shucks! As long as his paid employees give him the (anonymous) go-ahead, then everything should be fine. Remember how America just elected the 72-year-old John McCain its oldest president ever? Exactly. [Los Angeles Times]


RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

CNN Stands By Lou Goebbels, 150%

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
  • High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball’s in your court, Taibbi. [Matt Yglesias]
  • “You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context.” And brain herpes! [Weekly Standard]
  • Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. [USA Today]
  • The best part of RedState’s furry convention was when Liz Cheney gave everyone an enormous boner — as stiff as a starched collar! Who could resist doe-eyed Liz in that delicious panda bear suit? So soft. [RedState]
  • Sean Hannity is now a Texas Kentucky Colonel. [Think Progress]
  • CNN took one look at the ad Media Matters wanted to air and said, “What is this? You are not selling pills or automobiles? NO. This will not do. Air your facts on Fox.” [TPM]

MUZZLED

Obama Has To Correct Joe Biden, Again, For Saying Something True

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Sexy Joe Biden has had enough of this rebuking.Poor Joe Biden has spent his entire term as vice president being privately rebuked and publicly corrected by his boss. Every time Biden gives an interview, Obama comes out a couple days later and says, “I stand behind everything Joe said, except just to clarify, he meant the opposite,” and Biden has to sit in the Naughty Circle for ten minutes. MORE »


PERFUNCTORIES

LOUDMOUTH COMEDIAN Sworn Into Fancier Chamber Of Congress

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Here’s Joe Biden swearing in Al Franken to the Senate today, finally, while failed adult Norm Coleman plays Foosball in his parents’ basement, alone, sobbing. Now the Democrats officially have 60 votes in the Senate! EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW. [TPM]


IMPORTANT POLITICAL HISTORIES

A Children’s Treasury Of Comically Predictable Wacky Joe Biden Campaign Stories From Some New Book

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Too longSprightly silver-painted ex-Newsweek hobbit Richard Wolffe, who is also on the teevee sometimes, talking about politics, has released a new book titled Renegade: The Making of a President. It is supposedly a well-reported account of Life with Obama during the 2008 election, and it’s in bookstores today, so be sure to… not buy it and just spend a few minutes googling around for the key “cocktail party conversation” excerpts! Here’s one: Obama called Bill Clinton a liar! More: Barack and Michelle Obama basically hated each other until recently! MORE: Obama had wanted Hillary for Secretary of State for like 500 years! Thank you for the edifying pornography, Richard Wolffe! Meh. BUT WAIT… What hilarious things did Joe Biden do all the time? MORE »