Joe Arpaio

Welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts but were too stupid to ignore altogether. As usual, we recommend you fortify yourself with whatever helps you get through reading it — alcohol, weed, or a +10 Potion of […]

Some very exciting news for the birther conspiracy community seemed to erupt Monday afternoon, only to be snatched away immediately. For a few short hours, it appeared that Birther Hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio had confirmed that he’d assigned two full-time detectives to some aspect of the investigation of Barry Hussein Soetoro Bopshabop Peggy Fleming’s birth […]

It’s been a little while since we last checked in with Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, America’s Most Publicized Sheriff. The Arizona hero undertook a very important program of mandatory love of country in the jail last November, playing the National Anthem every morning and “God Bless America” every night, and placing flags in every […]

Yeah boy look at that this sweet piece of human rights violating ass right here. This is indeed Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio in his office just daring you to bury your head in his sweet man-mammaries. Just take a moment to gaze into the stark dichotomy between the background of the picture, with its […]

We can all learn from Steven Seagal, American hero, who just keeps giving and giving and giving and then when you think he can’t give any more, BOOM, there he is, magnanimously creating jobs for female Russian masseuses, and then POW, don’t look now, but there goes Steven Seagal, shooting at (illegal) Mexicans in Texas, […]

Useless old spite bitch Joe Arpaio was planning a big smelly Birtherfest for September 22, but now it looks like instead of hanging out with Pat Boone (who is still alive, apparently?) and heroic order-disobeying Army doctor Terry Lakin, he will just have to spend the day doing his job as Maricopa County Sheriff instead, […]

We can’t believe we forgot to watch the “live stream” of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s press conference — which wasn’t on the teevee because of how the media is colluding to protect the illegal alien “president” — and he has some news! In fact, Arpaio’s “posse” of investigators into the national security threat (true […]

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett has been in hot pursuit of extra-double email verification from the Hawaii government of Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Bennett made a pledge to the state’s voters — no extra-double email verification, no Obama on the ballot. What’s the big deal, haters? He’s only seeking this unique extra verification because […]

Your Wonkette is going to write a fun sentence and it is going to be true. Arizona’s Secretary of State has threatened not to put President of the United States of America Barack Obama on the ballot this fall because (a) he had a persuasive chit-chat with World Net Daily arch-grifter Jerome Corsi and (b) […]

Ghost Andrew Breitbart must be spinning in hell. He told these idiots that the “birther” stuff was “not a winning issue,” and what did these fuckwads at his ghost web empire do? They ran a total birther story with a long embarrassed introduction explaining that they weren’t birthers per se — um, let’s see — […]

Arizona humiliation Sheriff Joe Arpaio has called on the Director of U.S. Selective Service System to have his agency “conduct an investigation into Barack Obama’s Selective Service registration form from 1980.” Ha! Here’s what you should tell him, Director of U.S. Selective Service System Lawrence G. Romo: No, you dumphead. Then again, Joe Arpaio did […]

Top Arizona media whore and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio gave a stupid press conference today! Was it to respond to those allegations that he stole millions and millions of public dollars to persecute his political opponents? To announce a new partnership-initiative with the Pope in covering up reports of child molestation? Or did he […]

GAH. When we pleaded with the universe last week for leading insane racist and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio to be the next high-profile Republican sheriff to become embroiled in a “ghey sex for meth” scandal, we made our offhanded Xmas wish sort of figuring that was the worst the universe could do on the […]

The GOP is of course known generally as the “pro-genocide party” when it comes to illegal immigrants, but the field of GOP presidential candidates appears to be worried that America’s dim racist slobs have not been able to connect them enough with this platform. “Hey,” the Racist Slob Empire of Arizona whispered, “we’ve got a guy […]

Arizona teabagger king Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a vindictive racist gopher accused of misspending $99 million in public funds in the free time he does not spend playing William Tell with the illegal immigrants he captures and stores in what he affectionately calls his desert “concentration camps,” all of which might leave an average hater stretched […]