jobs
Joe Walsh’s Children’s Long National Nightmare Is Over
Bitter defeated one-term congressman and Father of the Millennium Joe Walsh will finally be able to pay his child support again! Because someone is going to pay him whore diamonds to open his singularly mean mouth and vomit “thoughts” and “ideas” and “accusations that his opponent wears ladies underwear” on our nation’s airwaves! HOORAY! Joe [...]
Watch Tea Party Godfather Rick Santelli Blubber About the Jobs Report Conspiracy
New York Times Infotainer: Taking Away Unemployment Insurance Will Make You Look All the More Harder For Those Jobs That Don’t Exist
Oh look, the Paper of Record has employed another typist to explain about bootstraps and whatnot, and give us the cold hard truth about why we are all losers who do not have jobs. Is it because of structural unemployment, or maybe something to do with robots? Ha! Ha! Ha! Of course not, says New [...]
Forbes Helpfully Explains Why ‘Careers’ Are for Olds
Do you have a career? Because if so, you are probably an Old or a Rich, given that they are not just letting people have careers anymore. See, careers are now for the idle wealthy, and the rest of us people can look forward to a life of hustling from one freelance gig to another, [...]
Massive Economic Depression Pushed Back Another Month
America is… back?? If the standard is that job creation barely surpassed population growth for the last month on record, four years into the great Economic Unpleasantness, then you betcha. We’re rich again! Money! Pie! War! The economy added a smashing 163,000 nonfarm payroll jobs in July, while June’s figure was revised down to a [...]
Lucky Romney Camp Has ‘Enough Truth’ To ‘Have It Both Ways’ In Florida
Mitt Romney may be pageview death — and he is, Blanche! He is! — but how could your Wonkette resist such a marvelous little item as this one? Bloomberg News reports that the Romney campaign is telling Florida Gov. Bat Boy to shut the fuck up, if you please sir, about the great strides his [...]
China Didn’t Want Those Dumb American Jobs Anyway
Your morning news: this time with a main dish of weird news that Americans have finally begun stealing jobs back from China, a side of old news (yeah, yeah, Bush is annoying) and a dessert of future news (everyone’s going to be on Facebook soon!). America is actually stealing jobs from China. Someone explain this [...]
Does Mitt Romney Support The Equal Pay Act? He Will ‘Get Back To You On That’
Biggest loser Mitt Romney employs some real lumps, as evidenced by a spokesperson’s comment Wednesday regarding the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act, which, in the words of its namesake, and YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, but, heh, Mr. Romney doesn’t, “ensures women have the tools to get equal pay for equal work.” When Huffington Post [...]
Newt Gingrich Loves GOLD!
Newt Gingrich has joined his sudden kindred spirit Ron Paul in saying that he believes there should be some kind of exploratory committee “to look at the concept of how do we get back to hard money.” In a discussion Tuesday at a foreign policy forum in South Carolina, Gingrich said as president he would [...]
Romney Likes Firing People
After Mitt Romney’s on-the-defensive appearance in Sunday morning’s MSNBC/Facebook debate, the frontrunner showed up at the Nashua Chamber of Commerce in Nashua, NH Monday to give an address in which he admitted that he “likes being able to fire people who provide services to me.” The context was health care: Romney evidently thought that the [...]
John Boehner’s Office Swarmed By Death Robots, Fake Bombs
Socialist government pensioners “the police” had to swing by the office of radioactive skin cancer stick John Boehner after someone spotted three rogue suitcases at the door with signs taped to the front of them saying, “jobs” and “oil” and “gas.” But, uh, NO FEAR: the sassy little Mars Rover that the Ohio bomb squad [...]
Rick Perry Running for U.S. President of Chinese Cyber Espionage
Narcissistic bozo drag queen Rick Perry is officially running for President of Are You Fucking Serious? here in this great nation of ours that has been “out of ideas” about who to put in the White House since 1980, an exciting decision that gives the green light to media outlets everywhere to examine just how [...]
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