Tag Archives: job creators

  Would You Like Breadsticks With Your Class War?

Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!

No extra compensation for the shitty pizza
Here’s some Nice Time/Justice Done news for all you fans of class warfare: A Papa John’s pizza franchise in New York has been ordered to pay almost $800,000 in back pay to workers it cheated out of wages. The court found that for more than six years, the franchisee “Emstar Pizza Inc,” which operates seven restaurants, rounded each employee’s hours down to the nearest full hour, cheating hundreds of employees out of their full pay, as well as underreporting hours worked and not paying overtime. Let’s hear it for the job creators, who deserve a tax cut for all the hard work they put into earning profits, huh? You don’t just come up with scams like that by being lazy. The owner of the franchise, Emmanuel Onuaguluchi tried unsuccessfully to escape previous court orders on back pay by attempting to sell the franchise. Read more on Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!…
  You Know We're Good For It

Kansas Will Fill Sam Brownback’s Budget Hole With Payday Loans, Bake Sales

How fiscally efficient are you feeling these days, people of Kansas? Now that your education and welfare funding have been pillaged to enrich the state’s upper crust, you might think you’ve trimmed all the fat you can, but newly re-elected Gov. Sam Brownback has faith that you can run even leaner. Read more on Kansas Will Fill Sam Brownback’s Budget Hole With Payday Loans, Bake Sales…
  Minnesota Nice

Brave Minnesota Job Creator Takes Brave Stand Against Waitresses

greedy minimum wage worker sticking it to the man
Greedy worker Oh good, a brave Job Creator is finally taking a stand against waitresses and also the people who patronize his restaurant by adding a “minimum wage fee” to the bill. Finally someone is dong SOMETHING about greedy servers who can now charge the princely sum of $4.90 – $6.15 per hour for their services! We don’t use the word “hero” often, but nothing short of a hero would protest Minnesota’s first minimum wage increase in nearly a decade. Read more on Brave Minnesota Job Creator Takes Brave Stand Against Waitresses…
  you want this job don't you?

Awesome $175 Million Tax Break Creates 15 Awesome Jobs In Detroit!

So here’s a nice bit of synchronicity: Last night, The Daily Show did a beautifully ragey takedown of Fox News’s outrage at lazy welfare bums who get food stamps, while dismissing far more costly corporate tax breaks as just the necessary incentive needed to create jobs. And this morning, we find a tipline link (thanks, anonymous tipster!) to this Detroit Free Press story about the stunning effectiveness of tax incentives to attract industry and jerbs: In 2007, Marathon Oil was given a package of tax breaks — mostly through a property tax abatement, the largest in Detroit history — totaling about $175 million to encourage it to expand a refinery. Along with the expansion, the company promised jobs for local residents. And indeed, the number of workers at the plant expanded from 320 in 2007 to 514 full-time workers. The only hitch is that almost none of those jobs went to Detroit residents: Of the 514 employees, 30 are listed as Detroit residents as of January. In 2007, before the expansion, the company employed 15 Detroit residents. That means fewer than 6% of Marathon’s workers at the refinery live in the city. Yay for the prospering suburbs! Read more on Awesome $175 Million Tax Break Creates 15 Awesome Jobs In Detroit!…
  brick wall with glasses

Silly Robert Reich Says Words About Minimum Wage To Helen Keller We Mean S.E. Cupp

So here is a clip of Robert Reich articulately laying out the case for why the minimum wage needs to be raised, and CNN’s S.E. Cupp not hearing anything but “victimizing job creators for class war.” It’s worth watching, if only for information you can use in your own conversations with wingnuts, and as an object lesson in why those conversations will go nowhere. On CNN’s Crossfire, Cupp starts the conversation where she’ll eventually end it: “You would suggest that we force employers to raise wages, force union participation, raise taxes on the top job creators, and force employers to cut off hiring at 50 employees to avoid Obamacare mandates,” Cupp told Reich. “How is that a job recipe for job creation?” And then Reich explains how jobs get created when people have enough money to buy stuff from companies that make stuff, and need people to make it, a fairly simple point that Henry Ford understood when he paid his assembly-line workers enough to buy the Model T’s they were building. Obviously, this economic analysis was too complex for Cupp, who is fixated on the word “forced.” Read more on Silly Robert Reich Says Words About Minimum Wage To Helen Keller We Mean S.E. Cupp…
  the life of a repo man is always intense

Millionaire WI Repo Man Would Rather Not Pay Child Support, Can The GOP Help Him Out With That, Great Thanks

Say you are a Wisconsin millionaire repo man who doesn’t want to pay so much gosh-darned child support, and you would like to get a law passed that says “stop class-warring job creators by making them feed their children all the time.” Wouldn’t it be great if there were someone you could call who would lend an ear, and also his bill-drafting pen? Luckily, for the low, low price of just an $11 thousand campaign donation to himself and his lieutenant governor wife, GOP Rep. Joel Kleefisch is here to help! Read more on Millionaire WI Repo Man Would Rather Not Pay Child Support, Can The GOP Help Him Out With That, Great Thanks…
  quiet rooms

Bummed About Your 15 Percent Tax Rate, Job Creators? Have You Considered Paying ‘Zero’ Instead?

It is with a heavy heart that we inform you that we have not significantly appeased our lords and masters the job creators and so they have taken to laundering their money, investing their money speech in offshore tax havens. Some of the world’s money launderers biggest banks, in fact, have been quietly helping 100,000 of our finest job creators and their families hide somewhere between $21 and $32 trillion in assets offshore in places like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands. The good news, however, is that this isn’t really anything that you people need to worry about. After all, being as you’re a Poor, you’re not as educated and wouldn’t understand that this is just how the system works, is all! These are swashbuckling captains of industry, taking such RISKS for the betterment of the economy and for us all, surely they deserve to evade avoid a little taxes here and there as repayment for their fulfilling their patriotic duty of being rich creating jobs? It’s as AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE! Read more on Bummed About Your 15 Percent Tax Rate, Job Creators? Have You Considered Paying ‘Zero’ Instead?…
  what's good for the syndicate is good for america

Romney Camp Outraged That Journalists Covering Him

Have you been paying attention to the controversy caused by the Washington Post’s article on Mitt Romney’s venture capitalism firm Bain Capital? Probably not because you, like so many other Americans, can’t stand reading about Mitt Romney due to his general awfulness. So your Wonkette will fill you in on the details: what happened was that Tom Hamburger of the Washington Post wrote a story last week about Bain Capital and how it invested companies that created jobs in places like India and China and Singapore while creatively destroying jobs in the U.S. The Romney campaign reacted by demanding that the Washington Post retract the article, because Mitt is a JOB CREATOR and deserves unquestioning fealty. Sadly, the Post did not agree. Read more on Romney Camp Outraged That Journalists Covering Him…
  silkwood shower

Ann Coulter: Hollywood Libels Businessmen By Telling Their True Stories

Ann Coulter has a guest opinioner in The Hollywood Reporter, and she has some thoughts she would like to share on that mean old Hollywood and how it is always smearing priests and WASPs and Southerners and Christians while holding up as heroes public school teachers if you can even believe it. Public school teachers! Ick! Nast! She gives a rundown on many types of characters whom H’wood is just cold besmirchin’ all the time, with small lists of the movies in which they are shamed and smeared. We do not have much to say about this, because she does things like say “small town” people are libeled with Footloose, but then, you know. Mostly she is mad that “Law & Order” is populated exclusively with white criminals, even though she saw two true crime programs where the rapers were Hispanic. (Not to mention all Law & Order’s black lady judges — which, oddly, Coulter doesn’t! It was probably edited out.) But there is one group of people Ann Coulter is especially protective towards, and that is businessmen. Why does Hollywood make villains out of businessmen, just because it is telling true stories? Businessmen (Erin Brockovich, A Civil Action, The Insider, Silkwood, Michael Clayton, every John Grisham adaptation, even The Muppets, where they reunite to save their old theater from a greedy oil tycoon! And Law & Order). Read more on Ann Coulter: Hollywood Libels Businessmen By Telling Their True Stories…
  breakroom water births are still encouraged

Staples Co-Founder: Obamacare’s ‘Lactation Chambers’ Will Cost Jobs

Silence, peons! A Job Creator is Speaking! This particular Employer is Tom Stemberg (just “Boss” to you) and he is alleged to have Created Jobs as a co-founder of Staples, a successful dispensary for overpriced printer ink. Stemberg, a Titan of Industry, is out and about, and raising some very interesting questions. (Let’s just get the question that immediately comes to mind out of the way: OOOH, DO YOU THINK HE KNEW MITT AT STAPLES?!) Now: will Obamacare, as Stemberg asserts, allow ladies/wet nurses in Private Employ to breastfeed in peace, and thereby permanently cripple job creation across America, forever? Read more on Staples Co-Founder: Obamacare’s ‘Lactation Chambers’ Will Cost Jobs…
  mathemagics strikes again!

Romney Claims He Created 100,000 Jobs, Forgets To Carry the Negative

Bad news for Mitt Romney, again, as always: Now that his only real competition is a charm coffin like Rick Santorum, the press has no other choice but to pay attention to Romney’s actual, boring campaign. THAT IS SOOOO UNFAIR! Especially because the only way Romney’s campaign can back up his job creation record — Mitt’s only possible cudgel against Obama’s record — is by using imaginary numbers gleaned by looking into a hat full of “seer stones.” Read more on Romney Claims He Created 100,000 Jobs, Forgets To Carry the Negative…