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Tag: job creation

Makin' his yucky buttsex face.

Rick Santorum Has Clever Plan To Make All The Brown People Go Away Forever

Rick Santorum is still running for president for some godforsaken reason, probably because his family abortion doctor said a campaign would distract him from his real obsession, which is ass sex. And so Thursday night, during the Undergirdle Debate...
Guess this makes them serious candidates.

Reality TV Show Star Thinks Neurosurgeon Isn’t Qualified To Run America

Fish splooge runner-up Donald Trump continued his charm offensive this week. In addition to explaining that Jeb! Bush can never be president of America if he refuses to speako the English, Trump turned his attention to Ben Carson, who recently tied...

Your Monday Nice Time: Chris Wallace Yells At Eric Cantor For Failing at Congress

"Why is Congress full of morons, Eric Cantor? Why does it suck so very very hard, Eric Cantor? Why is attempting to repeal Obamacare your go-to solution for just about every pressing problem facing the American people, Eric Cantor?...

Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!

Good morning from your Wonkette editor since, oh, 2006. It has been an exciting (terrible?) six years, hasn't it? There was old what's his name, and Iraq, and the Great Recession, and then the sexy president with his singing...

Mitt Romney Only Had to Lay Off 47 People to Win in Iowa

How did wicked gazillionaire Mitt Romney manage to eke out a 8-point vote win over prickly schoolmarm Rick Santorum? Well, there's at least one reason we know of: he hates job creation. In his eleventh-hour victory-cession speech, Romney in...

Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful

Execution worshipper Mitt Romney has a strange new campaign video that features Mittens driving around very depressing neighborhoods in Detroit, lost maybe? No, it is Mitt Romney's Tour of Ruined America, which is not Obama's fault, says Mitt (ALWAYS...