Tag Archives: job creation

  Faux Nooz

Your Monday Nice Time: Chris Wallace Yells At Eric Cantor For Failing at Congress

“Why is Congress full of morons, Eric Cantor? Why does it suck so very very hard, Eric Cantor? Why is attempting to repeal Obamacare your go-to solution for just about every pressing problem facing the American people, Eric Cantor? Aren’t we heading for a major disaster because you guys are too busy playing grabass to actually get down to the work of real governance?” Excellent questions! And would you believe us if we told you that they were asked by none other than Fox News’ Chris Wallace? Yes! Really! And we have video to prove it! It starts with a tight shot of Eric Cantor’s smarmy mug, and him saying something about cutting all the “regulation coming out of this town,” and you think to yourself, MY GOD WHY AM I WATCHING FOX NEWS. But then BAM! Chris Wallace jumps in and is all, “are you an idiot, or are you counting on the fact that I won’t call you an idiot on the air, because it is Fox News?” Read more on Your Monday Nice Time: Chris Wallace Yells At Eric Cantor For Failing at Congress…
  important announcements regarding your wonkette

Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!

Good morning from your Wonkette editor since, oh, 2006. It has been an exciting (terrible?) six years, hasn’t it? There was old what’s his name, and Iraq, and the Great Recession, and then the sexy president with his singing and dancing all the time. And now your longtime editor will finally stop disappearing for months at a time and officially hand over this Important American Publication to a deserving and talented political writer/editor, Ms. Rebecca Schoenkopf. She is a feared and respected Liberal Woman, so the wingnuts will just love her (as they plot to send her to Gitmo). Also, Rebecca is a fancy book-writin’ author and is famous for being “Commie Girl,” the newspaper columnist who drove California Republicans insane for the OC Weekly. Wonkette.com is obviously going to become just like National Review’s “The Corner,” which was always the plan? Read more on Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!…
  backdoor brag

Mitt Romney Only Had to Lay Off 47 People to Win in Iowa

How did wicked gazillionaire Mitt Romney manage to eke out a 8-point vote win over prickly schoolmarm Rick Santorum? Well, there’s at least one reason we know of: he hates job creation. In his eleventh-hour victory-cession speech, Romney in fact bragged about his remarkable refusal to create jobs, in this case of the campaign variety. He cut his Iowa campaign staff by 90% since his 2008 run! Does someone maybe need a reminder of the CENTRAL PREMISE OF HIS CAMPAIGN PLATFORM? Read more on Mitt Romney Only Had to Lay Off 47 People to Win in Iowa…
  mittens haz a sad

Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful

Execution worshipper Mitt Romney has a strange new campaign video that features Mittens driving around very depressing neighborhoods in Detroit, lost maybe? No, it is Mitt Romney’s Tour of Ruined America, which is not Obama’s fault, says Mitt (ALWAYS BLAME OBAMA, MITT), but Obama isn’t fixing it, either. Blah blah, this explanation is taking too long. What will Mitt do to fix it? He will get to that later, he is busy feeling sorry for Michigan right now. This Obama character has done nothing to help Detroit, because the auto bailout does not count for adding 50,000 jobs, for being socialist. “He made things worse,” Mittens says to some invisible person in the back seat of the car, and for a moment you forget whether he is talking about Obama or just talking in third person about his own campaign, by making this weird, sad video about how sad Detroit is. Watch it after the jump: Read more on Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful…