jimmy carter
The Virginia state legislature is preparing to switch from the U.S. dollar to some sort of nu-currency—salted hams, probably. [WND] Welfare queen Jimmy Carter is living large off of YOUR tax money! Be angry! [Washington Times] Marriage-rape advocate and anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly says Americans must rise up against the activist judges who would allow gays [...]
Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo is going to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Friday, because “peace” apparently is now a synonym for “toiling in vain for democracy.” China does not like this very much, as Liu is sitting in one of their prisons, so they decided to make their very own peace prize. According to [...]
Former president/poetic smut farmer Jimmy Carter writes all kinds of books. In fact, this graphomania has made him the first person in history to turn up in Wonkette’s book review column twice. What kind of sweaty bodice-ripper is he offering us now? Something called White House Diary, which is apparently his White House diary. Exciting, [...]
America’s most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they’re going to have to do trying to get that old-peanut stench out of their couches, as Carter seems to have drunk [...]
Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]
Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU [...]
Oh, thank you, North Korean YouTube, that almost looks like a real news segment! Yes, Kim Jong-il gets to paste together another fun photo collage of him with a former American president, and America gets back one of its citizens. It’s a win-win situation! So Jimmy Carter has arrived, and here he is receiving flowers [...]
What are the fun primaries Americans are going to be forced to vote in, today? In Arizona, Walnuts McCain, having dispensed with his few remaining principles, will almost certainly obliterate huckster infomercial man J.D. Hayworth. In Alaska, the Senate primary fight between Lisa Murkowski and Todd Palin’s snowmobiling buddy is secretly a proxy battle between [...]
Once upon a time in America, there lived a peanut farmer and known Georgian named James Earl Carter. He became world-famous because he was the first American to parlay his goober habit into several other glamorous careers. And we do mean several; this man has changed identities more times than, uh … who’s popular these [...]
Angry voters in a state dominated by conservative white people have turned on their long-running Congressman! Alan Mollohan has represented the good people of his slice of West Virginia for 28 years now, but his support for that tax-demon Obama’s various West Virginia-destroying schemes, like cap-and-trade and the health care plan that will pay for [...]
