Tag Archives: jimmy carter

  What Good Is A Deal That Won't Let Us Bomb Iran?

Scott Walker Joins The ‘Tough On Iran Like Reagan Was’ Club

In 1980 and 1984, especially. By landslides, even.
Scott Walker is a man who knows what he believes in, even if some of it is kind of weird, like how he can beat ISIS because he told public employee unions to go get bent. And his foreign policy hero is the great Ronald Reagan, who didn’t let foreign enemies like air traffic controller unions boss him around. So it shouldn’t be too surprising that in his announcement speech, Scott Walker explained we can never have a nuclear deal with Iran, because under Jimmy Carter, Iran took 52 Americans hostages, and only freed them on Ronald Reagan’s first day in office. Read more on Scott Walker Joins The ‘Tough On Iran Like Reagan Was’ Club…
  Threesomes are cool too

Jimmy Carter Says Gay Boning Is Just All Right With Jesus

Fireside chat with Jesus about sex-type things.
Hurray, President Jimmy Carter, that commu-sexual Marxo-lesbian oldster who used to be president, and who is famously involved with the Southern Baptist church, even if he’s pretty pissed at those lady-hatin’ fools on a regular basis, has issued a new decree for us to obey, and it is about gays, and how Jesus of Nazareth would be just fine with gay marriage, as long as everybody treats each other nice-like and isn’t abusive: Read more on Jimmy Carter Says Gay Boning Is Just All Right With Jesus…
  leave the former presidents aloooooooooone!

Mean Sen. Joni Ernst Takes Castratin’ Knife To Former Presidents’ Allowance Moneys

Oh, they look happy NOW.
Hey there, former presidents of the US and A — that would be Clinton, Carter and those two Bush brats — thanks for serving your country and all by BEING PRESIDENT OF IT, but Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Pig Spaying), and her Republican friends Marco Rubio and Mark Kirk, want to take away all the fun moneys you get for being Former Presidents. This is very mean, and you should all, in a bipartisan way, get together to tell them exactly where they ought to get fucked with whatever pig genitals Ernst removed most recently: Read more on Mean Sen. Joni Ernst Takes Castratin’ Knife To Former Presidents’ Allowance Moneys…
  department of gotcha questions

Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse

It would seem that getting stumped by really simple questions isn’t a problem limited to Jeb Bush being A Idiot. ALL the 2016 Republican candidates are doing it! CNN’s Chris Moody traveled to the South Carolina Freedom Summit, where all the wingnut hopefuls were gathered, and he had one tough gotcha question: “Who’s the best living president?” The hilariously pitiful answer, from all the candidates? NONE OF THEM, KATIE, and also Ronald Reagan’s decomposed bones. No, really, these are their answers: Read more on Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse…
  winner winner chicken dinner

We Suck At Judging Caption Contests Like You People Suck At Writing Them

Seriously, you people
Hey, Wonkaloos, after much time and consideration, and the realization that we had to actually go back and read the damned things, we have selected a winner for your Presidents Day Caption Contest, which we figured you might suck at, and by god, you lived up to our expectations! The first prize should be two tickets to 50 Shades of Grey, but not even we are that cruel. But here is Your First Prize Winner, by Blank Ron: Read more on We Suck At Judging Caption Contests Like You People Suck At Writing Them…
  There probably won't be any winners

Here Is Your Presidents Day Caption Contest, For You To Suck At

Seriously, you people
OK, people, you know how this works. Here is a photograph. (Look up, dummies.) You will attempt to write a caption for it in the comments, which we do not allow. You will probably suck at it, because whenever we give you fun photos to caption, you write the worst goddamned captions imaginable, we would fire all of you if we could, sheesh. And no, we do not understand what your problem is, you are so funny all the other times in the comments, which we do not allow. Why else do you think we keep you around? Read more on Here Is Your Presidents Day Caption Contest, For You To Suck At…
  Just Remember You're A Living Organism On This Planet And You're Safe

Here Is A Jimmy Carter Caption Contest, For Your Weekend Amusement!

Preemptive Reference: 'Sounds like you've got yourself some Orange Sunshine'
Historian Michael Beschloss tweeted this awesome picture of James Earl Carter wearing an Allman Brothers T-Shirt while campaigning in 1976, and Twitter smart person Seth Cansler Clark summed up its content quite succinctly: “GEORGIA AS HELL!” Read more on Here Is A Jimmy Carter Caption Contest, For Your Weekend Amusement!…
  Jimmy Build World

Jimmy Carter Built That

This looks a lot like 'puttering'
We have some Nice Time for you, and it is Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter building more houses for more people, as they do. This Habitat for Humanity house is in Fort Worth, Texas, one of over a hundred homes in the Dallas-Fort Worth area that Habitat is building or repairing in a manic burst of barn-raising this week. Read more on Jimmy Carter Built That…
  Baby It's Warm Outside

Mean Jimmy Carter Calls Climate Deniers ‘Nutcases,’ Ruining Chances Of Amicable Compromise

Fireside chat with Jesus about sex-type things.
Former President and solar water heater aficionado Jimmy Carter went to Aspen, Colorado, this week to accept a lifetime achievement award at the “American Renewable Energy Day summit.” (If he flew there in an airplane, be sure to call him a hypocrite.) There he said people who deny global warming are “nutcases,” prompting howls of outrage on the Right, we figure — they’re always howling and outraged, after all. Oh, yes, just checked Twitchy, and all nine of the fulltime staff were indeed very, very sad at the unfortunate tone taken by the former President. Read more on Mean Jimmy Carter Calls Climate Deniers ‘Nutcases,’ Ruining Chances Of Amicable Compromise…
  the old man loves my ass

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks Where Mistakes Were Made

This week we’ll start wrapping up the Glorious Reagan Years, in which the Gipper personally defeated Communism almost everywhere by Standing Tall and being the manliest. And for a change, on the topic of Afghanistan at least, it’s our 11/12th-grade history textbook from Bob Jones University Press, United States History for Christian Schools (2002), that manages to tell bigger lies than our text for 8th graders, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 2006). Way to go Bob Jones U! We knew you could do it! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks Where Mistakes Were Made…
  Let God Sort 'em Out

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Books That Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

Our Celebration of All Things Reagan continues this week with a look at some of the Gipper’s flawless successes in foreign policy, as explained in a couple of popular history books for the private Christian school market. It was a time when America rode tall in the saddle again, and everyone loved and respected us again. And if they didn’t, they’d get Rambo’d! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Books That Begin Bombing In Five Minutes…
  the first thing i want to say is 'mandate my ass'

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Texts That Will Win One For The Gipper

As we saw last week, America in the late 1970s was in quite the fix, and what we really needed was for a man on a white horse to come and save America at the last moment. Someone always comes to save America at the last moment. And as today’s soundtrack reminds us, when America found itself having a hard time facing the future, we looked for people like John Wayne. But since John Wayne was no longer available, we settled for Ronald Reagan. This week, our history textbooks for the Christian school market tell us all about the glories of that wonderful presidency, when we looked back to an age when movies were in black and white, and so was everything else. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Texts That Will Win One For The Gipper…
  suck it reagan

Obama Desecrates Reagan’s Adulthood Home With Solar Panels Because He Is A Dumb Hippie

So we all know that President B. Barry Bamz hates St. Ronald Reagan, right? It is clear, established fact that everything Nobummer does is directly related to desecrating the memory of Reagan’s lifetime of achievements. Remember when Obama was going to tear down Reagan’s childhood home using only his testicles as wrecking balls? Well apparently desecrating Reagan’s childhood home was not enough, and Obama has to go and try to wreck Reagan’s adulthood home, per WaPo: The White House has completed installing solar panels on the First Family’s residence, a process it started back in 2010. Next thing you know, he will acknowledge the existence of AIDS or something!  Read more on Obama Desecrates Reagan’s Adulthood Home With Solar Panels Because He Is A Dumb Hippie…
  old mother reagan

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks On The Advent Of Saint Reagan

Congratulations, America! After 400 years of divine guidance, we’ve finally gotten to the President that God wanted the most, Ronald Wilson Reagan (genuflection optional). Both of our textbooks for the Christian school market just love the heck out of him, of course, because he made America Great Again… or at least made us feel Great Again, which is every bit as important. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks On The Advent Of Saint Reagan…
  worst omission: neither book mentions disco

Sundays With The Christianists: Ineffectual American History Textbooks That Meant Well

Never mind the post-2000 copyright dates on our two U.S. history textbooks aimed at the rightwing Christian school and homeschool market. The most important thing you need to know about them is that they are very much products of the explosion of Christian Right publishing that arose while Ronald Reagan was president and the Moral Majority was still a going concern. It shows, especially in the books’ discussion of the weakest, most pathetic President of the United States, or indeed any president in the universe, James Earl Carter. Reading these books, you almost get the feeling that they’re still trying to get Reagan elected. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Ineffectual American History Textbooks That Meant Well…