jimmy carter

First things first: Jimmy Carter is 88 years old. So who was the energetic youngster who just STOLED GEORGE W. BUSH’S LIBERRY CEREMONY? So Jimmy Carter* got up to make a nice speech about George W. Bush, because “civility.” He opened with fond memories of the stolen election of 2000, during which the crowd was [...]

We have rather mixed feelings about this Daily Caller story here. On the one hand, it’s actually doing some interesting journamalism stuff, using a Freedom of Information Act request to examine how former presidents spend some of the money that goes to former Presidents of the United States — a total of $3.7 million in [...]

All y’all with your Bubba hard-ons can leave right now until the next post comes on. Official Wonkette Editorial Policy proclaims Jimmy Carter the bitchinest, raddest, most fuckin’ greatest of all living ex-presidents and probably the dead ones too. Former President Jimmy Carter said that he favored legalizing marijuana during a panel discussion broadcast on [...]

We’ve been waiting to see how the GOP would eventually tackle this particular, inevitable political messaging problem: At some point, they would decide to ditch “Obama is Jimmy Carter II” — Jimmy Carter, of course, having been the original History’s Greatest Monster — in favor of Obama is worse than Carter. But they can’t explicitly [...]

The Virginia state legislature is preparing to switch from the U.S. dollar to some sort of nu-currency—salted hams, probably. [WND] Welfare queen Jimmy Carter is living large off of YOUR tax money! Be angry! [Washington Times] Marriage-rape advocate and anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly says Americans must rise up against the activist judges who would allow gays [...]

Michele Bachmann opened up to a gathering of Michigan Republicans on Tuesday about her shameful, Jimmy Carter-loving past. “I was a reasonable, fair-minded Democrat. And another secret you need to know: My husband and I met in college. We worked on Jimmy Carter’s presidential campaign. It’s true, it’s true. This is like a 12-step meeting [...]

Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo is going to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Friday, because “peace” apparently is now a synonym for “toiling in vain for democracy.” China does not like this very much, as Liu is sitting in one of their prisons, so they decided to make their very own peace prize. According to [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonThe Wonkette empire was of course built on ass-fucking, but the prudes of American journalism have a problem with depicting anal sex in mainstream political cartoons. This despite the fact that it’s an act perfectly suited for modern-day politics’ crude discourse. (“Boy, that federal government sure is fucking us in the ass, [...]

Former president/poetic smut farmer Jimmy Carter writes all kinds of books. In fact, this graphomania has made him the first person in history to turn up in Wonkette’s book review column twice. What kind of sweaty bodice-ripper is he offering us now? Something called White House Diary, which is apparently his White House diary. Exciting, [...]

America’s most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they’re going to have to do trying to get that old-peanut stench out of their couches, as Carter seems to have drunk [...]

Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]

Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU [...]

Oh, thank you, North Korean YouTube, that almost looks like a real news segment! Yes, Kim Jong-il gets to paste together another fun photo collage of him with a former American president, and America gets back one of its citizens. It’s a win-win situation! So Jimmy Carter has arrived, and here he is receiving flowers [...]

What are the fun primaries Americans are going to be forced to vote in, today? In Arizona, Walnuts McCain, having dispensed with his few remaining principles, will almost certainly obliterate huckster infomercial man J.D. Hayworth. In Alaska, the Senate primary fight between Lisa Murkowski and Todd Palin’s snowmobiling buddy is secretly a proxy battle between [...]


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