* Heard on the Hill: Marsha Blackburn’s daughter wants to be something called the “Oyster Easter Queen.” … Jon Voight spotted outside the offices of Norm Coleman flossing… House Foreign Affairs Committee craigslist ad: fake! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Barbara Harrison said “shit” on the tv the other night. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Max Baucus swung into action when a staffer became ill and, uh, helped call 911 and get water and stuff… Borat’s gonna be at WHCA dinner. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: The Webb gun thing might affect DC voting rights or something… Al Franken needs your money. [Politico]

Aren’t you glad George Allen lost his senate seat for calling Jim Webb’s Indian guy a Tunisian monkey in Italian or something? Yes, Macaca George was a racist dingbat in love with a prop football and slavery, but he wasn’t a heavily armed lunatic.

The emerging and evolving story of Webb’s aide being arrested and jailed for trying to sneak a loaded handgun and tons of ammo into the Russell Senate Office building is starting to sound like a hilarious outtake from “Pulp Fiction.” Yesterday we learned that Webb and his ninja gunmen had sacks of weapons when they showed up at National airport, so Webb was forced to leave his guns with the staffers for his flight to Beirut or wherever, and then there were guns everywhere and nobody was keeping track and next thing you know this former Marine has put one of Webb’s loaded semi-automatic pistols (or maybe even a Micro Uzi) in a briefcase — along with two fully loaded extra magazines — through the X-Ray machine and the Capitol cops lock him up.

Read Webb’s delusional Conrad Burns-esque excuses, after the jump.

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* Gonzo makes it through almost three minutes of questions from the press today. [The Swamp]
* John McCain still proud of McCain-Feingold, can’t remember back any further. [Captain's Quarters]
* National ballistic missile defense made out of sugar cubes. [C&L]
* Al Qaeda’s intellectual property is safe with Google. [Jawa Report]
* Duncan Hunter has someone write a blawg post for him. [Blogs for Bush]
* Jim Webb “was BORN FIGHTING and will CHOKE A BITCH if need be.” [DCeiver]

Yesterday’s anonymous unsubstantiated crazy irresponsible rumor turned out to be 100% true, so let’s go with another one:

Is it true Laura Bush is living part time in the Mayflower Hotel because she cant stand being around George who is drunk all the time?

It would take a federal prosecution to even confirm that Laura Bush is still alive, so this will not be one of those “Jim Webb’s a heavily armed psychotic” things that sort of reveals itself. MORE »

We’ve been waiting for Jim Webb to go crazy in public and start killing his enemies, and it appears the pieces are falling into place. Here’s what we now know about this morning’s arrest: MORE »

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URGENT BREAKING ETC ETC MUST CREDIT ANONYMOUS EMAILER… MORE »

* Jim Webb faces a dilemma — will his new book have as many father/son blowjob scenes as the last one, or does he want to be vice president? [Political Wire]
* Yes. Americans unequivocally have a right to as much porn as they can possibly consume. [Blogs for Bush]
* Voters are already sick of all the actual presidential candidates. [Hit & Run]
* Diplomats in Tehran think the U.S. is just crazy enough to do it. [Jerusalem Post]
* Jon Stewart vs. John Bolton ends in a hit, a palpable hit. [C&L]
* Ohio Governor Ted Strickland loves the sexing. [ Pandagon]
* Norah O’Donnell: so perty yet so braindead. [Think Progress]
* Riding in cars with presidents. [Rude Pundit]

This may be the single worst interactive feature we’ve ever seen on a high-profile Politician’s website. It’s from Jim Webb’s “Born Fighting” PAC, and it seems to be designed for filthy jokes, libel, and anonymous insults — all of which are displayed, continuously updated, on the front page of the website. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Crazy astronut Lisa Nowak flew on the Discovery with a dude who’s now engaged to Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-Ariz.)… Rep. Julia Carson, from Indianapolis, congratulated the Colts for letting America know that her district is not “all drive-by shootings.” … Rep. Peter King’s cell ringer: “Hot in Herre” by Nelly. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Miss America… One of the lawsuits against Jessica Cutler was thrown out! The one in DC remains. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: MoveOn members target Jim Webb’s office in a phone-bombing campaign. To, uh, thank him for not supporting the war… Bill Maher still makin’ those jokes. Boy oh boy, is he ever… Joe Lieberman: “I’m the Lorax.” We think there are probably a couple other Dr Seuss characters he resembles more. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Ted Kennedy zinged John Boehner at a dinner… Dem staffers stole Rep. Paul Rhodes guitar from his office, brought it to the Dem retreat. Then Hodes and John Hall sang “Still the One.” … Jane Harman skipped the retreat because she hates Nancy Pelosi (j/k they are BFF!). [The Hill]

The great thing about actually hating all politicians is nobody can figure out if you’re “conservative” or “liberal” or whatever. Witness this bit in the Post:

Not all of the reaction was positive. Conservatives scoffed at Webb’s less-than-animated demeanor. One blog headline commented on Webb’s constant seriousness with the headline: “Dem Response: Countdown to Webb’s Aneurysm.”

Tipster “Rebecca” was so offended that she left an impassioned comment in our defense. But our favorite comment is this one:

“One blog headline commented on Webbs constant seriousness with the headline: Dem Response: Countdown to Webbs Aneurysm.” How typical. Lacking intelligent criticism, conservatives substitute childish ridicule. And this is a pretty damn serious time. Thousands of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis have died in this ill-conceived and mismanaged war. That this conservative blogger thinks the time and issues warrant anything but seriousness frightens and disgusts me.

Well said, dummy! MORE »