jim webb

A MACACA SHOWS ITS COLORS  12:13 pm February 9, 2011

BREAKING: Jim Webb Not Running For Re-Election; Photo of Rooster Confirms

by Jack Stuef

Brave Macaca hero Jim Webb has bravely decided to give up even trying to run for re-election to the U.S. Senate against half-witted football man George Allen. We can confirm this because the photo for this story on Google News is of a rooster that stabbed and killed a man at a cockfight. Yeah, that [...]

HE'S BACK YOU GUYS!  1:15 pm October 7, 2010

George Allen Going To Bring His Football Back To the Senate, Macacas

by Jack Stuef

Virginia’s George Allen may be the most brilliant legislator to ever play with a football on the Senate floor, but unfortunately, he also likes to use old-timey racial slurs of which nobody has ever heard, so he was defeated in 2006 for saying “macaca” on YouTube. It was an important moment in American history, according [...]

IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:08 am July 27, 2010

Unpleasantness Of Actual War Dims Congressional Enthusiasm For It

by Josh Fruhlinger

Despite the fact that, as the White House loudly and no doubt correctly insists, the WikiLeaks War Logs contained only information that everyone kind of knew already, it was pretty depressing information, all in a big pile! So now that the picture of the Afghan cauldron of death and carnage and betrayal is clear, with [...]

IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  7:33 am June 4, 2010

New York Times Can’t Bring Itself To Say ‘Girlfriend’

by Josh Fruhlinger

In America in 2010, nobody gets married. Nobody! This is because like six years ago in one little despised U.S. state, dudes started marrying other dudes and chicks started marrying chicks, so everyone else was all like “Ew, what’s the point.” (Either that or there have been fundamental shifts in ideas about sexual propriety and [...]

AMERICA'S SHINING CONGRESS  4:06 pm July 9, 2008

FISA Overhaul Passes In Senate As Expected; You Should Probably Never Use A Telephone Again

by Jim Newell

After an exciting day of voting, the Senate has voted in favor of the new FISA surveillance bill, 69-28, and George Bush will now sign it into law in his secret masturbatorium.

INSANE BUT COOL PEOPLE  4:22 pm July 7, 2008

by Jim Newell

JIM WEBB WILL BE VICE PRESIDENT OF NOTHING: Ulster Scot fur-trading frontiersman Sen. Jim Webb has been a frequently mentioned vice presidential possibility for Barack Obama, because he is white and was in the Army for a while. Today, however, he effectively withdrew his name from contention in a statement about how much he luvs [...]

DEMOCRATS  11:37 am June 12, 2008

Jim Webb Is Totally Not Going To Be VP Of Anything

by Sara K. Smith

For a whole week or two, people have been wondering who Barack Obama might select as his running mate — and for many of you Hollywood Liberal Elites, nothing gets your shorts creamier than the thought of charming southern redneck Jim Webb and all the hilarious “White guy drives like this, black guy drives like [...]

DEMOCRATS  11:34 am May 30, 2008

Jim Webb Too Much Of A Manly Badass For Veep?

by Sara K. Smith

All you ladies and gents wetting your pants over ginger-topped Appalachian porn scribe Jim Webb maybe becoming America’s next vice president, cross your legs and think on this for a moment: he might have too many desirable qualities to ever take the job. You see, just as Rambo would have made a horrible president on [...]

DEMOCRATS  2:40 pm April 28, 2008

by Ken Layne

SENATE  12:33 pm December 26, 2007

Demrats Keep Senate Open for Seconds to Avoid Massive Evildoing

by Jim Newell

KARL ROVE  4:06 pm September 7, 2007

Virginia Ranger

by Alex Pareene

DEMOCRATS  2:40 pm June 25, 2007

Republicans Now Getting Stuffed Into Congressional Lockers

by Ken Layne

SENATE  12:59 pm June 18, 2007

Laws Don’t Apply To Jim Webb

by Ken Layne

2008   6:33 pm April 26, 2007

Mike Huckabee’s Son Tries To Finish What Jim Webb Started

by Ken Layne

BLOGGERS  12:46 pm March 30, 2007

Cartoon Violence Will Smash Your Web Of Lies To Bits

by Alex Pareene

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