Tag Archives: jim lehrer

  drunk as a voting skunk

Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game

Hi, drunkards! Tonight, in case you didn’t know, is America’s First 2012 Presidential Debate, during which two men will stand on stage and be hectored and/or coddled by Jim Lehrer in a spectacle that matches no version of the word “debate” as the English language has come to commonly define it. Well, we here at Wonkette along with Drunk Jim Lehrer (pictured above) would like to give you your official drinking game for tonight. First, some ground rules: 1) We don’t do “one drink, two drink, red drink, blue drink” shit. What counts as “one drink”? At Wonkette, we just straight drink until we don’t feel like it any more. Out of a funnel. We call it the Drunklopian Tube. 2) It is probably best if you use the drinking game as an accompaniment to your otherwise completely healthy heavy drinking, rather than a pure guide, because depending on how long they ramble about “policy” (not at all, who are we kidding?), you may have literal minutes between drinks. That having been said, here we go! Read more on Your Handy-Dandy Wonkette Debate Drinking Game…
  horrible monsters

Jim Lehrer Tells Creepy Stories About Cannibals, For Laughs

Who better to promote a heart-warming comedy show than a man with a funereal demeanor and the beady, coal-black eyes of a dead shark? Nobody! Please watch Make ‘Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, lest Jim Lehrer be forced to make your faucets run with blood while he sings to you, from the sewer, wearing a clown costume. [YouTube] Read more on Jim Lehrer Tells Creepy Stories About Cannibals, For Laughs…
  this website looks insane right now

Liveblogging The Mississippi Mud Slide, Part II

Jim Lehrer, you garish little Skittle whore! What kind of jacket is THAT? Slut slut slut Jim Lehrer is a slut. Oh god this debate is boring, we realized during our last moment of clarity. Time to open the Schlitz! Huh? Who are you people anyway. (Pre-blog & Part 1). Read more on Liveblogging The Mississippi Mud Slide, Part II…
 

Get Well Soon, Jim Lehrer!

Lovable PBS anchor Jim Lehrer hasn’t been on his show lately because he was busy getting his heart re-plumbed with various valves and nozzles. Word has it the procedure went smoothly and he will be back in a few weeks. Wonkette congratulates him on his new Robot Heart and wishes him a speedy recovery. You, the reader, may write to him here! [PBS] Read more on Get Well Soon, Jim Lehrer!…
 

The Funk of 40,000 Years

* Robert Novak will let you call him “angel tits” if you just buy his book. [Political Wire] * Real Christians know, “a Vote for Romney is a Vote for Satan.” [MoJo] * Tom Friedman thinks Americans are too smart to listen to anything Lou Dobbs says. [Passport] * John Murtha hates the war in Iraq, loves the war on drugs. [Hit & Run] * John Edwards promises $400 haircuts for every American. [Captain’s Quarters] * Jim Lehrer senility check: He refuses to “assume the president of the U..S is lying.” Yup, lost it. [Romenesko] * Dennis Kucinich will save the world if you’ll just say his fucking name right. [PrezVid] Read more on The Funk of 40,000 Years…
 

Wonkette Party Crash: ‘The Week’ Magazine Opinion Awards ’07

This is a very special party crash, because we actually did crash it: despite being on the panel that selected one of the winners, we weren’t actually on the list for The Week’s annual award dog-and-pony show. It all worked out in the end, of course, as we’re consummate complainers. The event, held last night at the Four Seasons, honors people whose opinions a group of rich old people can generally agree are pretty good, or at least entertaining. Oh, and a blogger. We attended, of course, with the lovely Liz Gorman, whose lovely photos are here. Our write-up can be found, as always, after the jump. The Week Opinion Awards Gallery Read more on Wonkette Party Crash: ‘The Week’ Magazine Opinion Awards ’07…
 

Wonk’d: The Goose Liver Insurgency Must Be Stopped

Nearly every sighting this week comes from the exact same place, several at the exact same time. Wonkette operatives didn’t even need to use their sharp eyes to spot these old men in a barrel. Apparently, Bistro Bis is the be-seen restaurant du jour. Or maybe it was all along — the closest we come to a power lunch is eating a burrito really fast. But John Kerry, John Bolton, Jon Tester , Jim Lehrer, and Steve Kroft have more discriminating palates. You get all of them, and one Senator too busy working on his abs to respect his elders, by indulging your Mecury-in-retrograde-moon-is-in-the-seventh-house fantasies on the other side of the worm hole. Read more on Wonk’d: The Goose Liver Insurgency Must Be Stopped…
 

To Do: Interesting for DC

* Jim Lehrer talks about his novel The Phony Marine at Politics & Prose. “Lehrer, himself a former Marine, perfectly captures the importance of presentation, or impersonation, in this Washington-based novel.” [P&P] * Sentai, Shift and Don Zientara at the Black Cat, whoever they are. $8 at 9PM [Black Cat] * 1978’s American Hot Wax at The Mary Pickford Theater. “The story of famed Cleveland disc jockey Alan Freed, who introduced the music genre called ‘rock’n’roll’ to teenage American radio audiences in the 1950’s. Freed was a source of great controversy: criticized by conservatives for corrupting youth with the ‘devil’s music,’ hated by racists for promoting African American music for white consumption, persecuted by law enforcement officials, and finally brought down by the ‘payola’ scandals.” Plus Jay Leno. Free at 7PM. [LOC] Read more on To Do: Interesting for DC…
 

Wonk’d: March Mediocrity?

This week’s collection of celebrity sightings is a little disappointing; we’ve seen better around here. Are you all too busy enjoying college basketball, warm weather, and cherry blossoms, leaving you without time to keep your editors informed of the comings and goings of famous people? Please don’t forget to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (as well as the name of the spotted celeb). After the jump: Patti LaBelle, in a purple fur; John King and Gheorghe Muresan, participating in the March Madness; and a bunch of senators on planes. Read more on Wonk’d: March Mediocrity?…
 

Wonk’d: The Return of Wonk’d

Yes, we’re bringing this feature back at the very time everyone has left town. We’re drunk that way. We will, however, be accepting sightings of famous-for-D.C.-types spotted outside D.C. to compensate. To compensate for everyone being out of town, we mean. To compensate for being drunk we usually just promise we’ll work out the next day. In this issue, a not-as-exciting-as-her-humping-her-boyfriend sighting of Jenna, Kucinich, Lehrer, Cooper, Gonzales, the Donald and Kerry. Sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours to m("tips","wonkette.com",true);.All after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: The Return of Wonk’d…