Who better to promote a heart-warming comedy show than a man with a funereal demeanor and the beady, coal-black eyes of a dead shark? Nobody! Please watch Make ‘Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, lest Jim Lehrer be forced to make your faucets run with blood while he sings to you, from the sewer, wearing a clown costume. [YouTube]

Jim Lehrer, you garish little Skittle whore! What kind of jacket is THAT? Slut slut slut Jim Lehrer is a slut. Oh god this debate is boring, we realized during our last moment of clarity. Time to open the Schlitz! Huh? Who are you people anyway. (Pre-blog & Part 1). MORE »

Lovable PBS anchor Jim Lehrer hasn’t been on his show lately because he was busy getting his heart re-plumbed with various valves and nozzles. Word has it the procedure went smoothly and he will be back in a few weeks. Wonkette congratulates him on his new Robot Heart and wishes him a speedy recovery. You, the reader, may write to him here! [PBS]

* Robert Novak will let you call him “angel tits” if you just buy his book. [Political Wire]
* Real Christians know, “a Vote for Romney is a Vote for Satan.” [MoJo]
* Tom Friedman thinks Americans are too smart to listen to anything Lou Dobbs says. [Passport]
* John Murtha hates the war in Iraq, loves the war on drugs. [Hit & Run]
* John Edwards promises $400 haircuts for every American. [Captain's Quarters]
* Jim Lehrer senility check: He refuses to “assume the president of the U..S is lying.” Yup, lost it. [Romenesko]
* Dennis Kucinich will save the world if you’ll just say his fucking name right. [PrezVid]

This is a very special party crash, because we actually did crash it: despite being on the panel that selected one of the winners, we weren’t actually on the list for The Week’s annual award dog-and-pony show. It all worked out in the end, of course, as we’re consummate complainers.

The event, held last night at the Four Seasons, honors people whose opinions a group of rich old people can generally agree are pretty good, or at least entertaining. Oh, and a blogger.

We attended, of course, with the lovely Liz Gorman, whose lovely photos are here. Our write-up can be found, as always, after the jump.

The Week Opinion Awards Gallery

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Nearly every sighting this week comes from the exact same place, several at the exact same time. Wonkette operatives didn’t even need to use their sharp eyes to spot these old men in a barrel. Apparently, Bistro Bis is the be-seen restaurant du jour. Or maybe it was all along — the closest we come to a power lunch is eating a burrito really fast. But John Kerry, John Bolton, Jon Tester , Jim Lehrer, and Steve Kroft have more discriminating palates. You get all of them, and one Senator too busy working on his abs to respect his elders, by indulging your Mecury-in-retrograde-moon-is-in-the-seventh-house fantasies on the other side of the worm hole.

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* Jim Lehrer talks about his novel The Phony Marine at Politics & Prose. “Lehrer, himself a former Marine, perfectly captures the importance of presentation, or impersonation, in this Washington-based novel.” [P&P]
* Sentai, Shift and Don Zientara at the Black Cat, whoever they are. $8 at 9PM [Black Cat]
* 1978’s American Hot Wax at The Mary Pickford Theater. “The story of famed Cleveland disc jockey Alan Freed, who introduced the music genre called ‘rock’n'roll’ to teenage American radio audiences in the 1950’s. Freed was a source of great controversy: criticized by conservatives for corrupting youth with the ‘devil’s music,’ hated by racists for promoting African American music for white consumption, persecuted by law enforcement officials, and finally brought down by the ‘payola’ scandals.” Plus Jay Leno. Free at 7PM. [LOC] MORE »

This week’s collection of celebrity sightings is a little disappointing; we’ve seen better around here. Are you all too busy enjoying college basketball, warm weather, and cherry blossoms, leaving you without time to keep your editors informed of the comings and goings of famous people? Please don’t forget to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (as well as the name of the spotted celeb).

After the jump: Patti LaBelle, in a purple fur; John King and Gheorghe Muresan, participating in the March Madness; and a bunch of senators on planes.

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Yes, we’re bringing this feature back at the very time everyone has left town. We’re drunk that way. We will, however, be accepting sightings of famous-for-D.C.-types spotted outside D.C. to compensate. To compensate for everyone being out of town, we mean. To compensate for being drunk we usually just promise we’ll work out the next day.

In this issue, a not-as-exciting-as-her-humping-her-boyfriend sighting of Jenna, Kucinich, Lehrer, Cooper, Gonzales, the Donald and Kerry.

Sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours to .All after the jump.

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