Jim Gilmore Struggles For Relevancy
Monday, November 19th, 2007
![Just because I too sick to run for President doesn't mean I can't run for Senate](http://wonkette.com/assets/resources/2007/11/old%20man%20eyebrows.jpg")
Remember when Jim Gilmore was running for President? No? That’s ok. It was only for like 2 seconds and he barely raised any money and then dropped out. But he was just using that as a springboard, because today he announced his intention to lose the race for the Senate seat being vacated by John Warner. Mr. Crazy Old Man Eyebrows (the picture doesn’t do them justice) will be running against the suave and well-coiffed Mark Warner, who is rich, pretty and likeable (and thus dogged by rumors of either being a womanizer or a gay). May the best hair win! [Jim Gilmore for Senate, Mark Warner for Senate 2008]
Remember when Jim Gilmore was running for President? No? That’s ok. It was only for like 2 seconds and he barely raised any money and then dropped out. But he was just using that as a springboard, because today he announced his intention to lose the race for the Senate seat being vacated by John Warner. Mr. Crazy Old Man Eyebrows (the picture doesn’t do them justice) will be running against the suave and well-coiffed Mark Warner, who is rich, pretty and likeable (and thus dogged by rumors of either being a womanizer or a gay). May the best hair win! [Jim Gilmore for Senate, Mark Warner for Senate 2008]
John Warner is set to announce his retirement from the Senate in a minute or two (and probably will have announced it by the time we get this post up), setting up a total free-for-all in Virginia, where it was basically a given that he would continue being their Senator until the end of time. But one day someone noticed that John wasn’t actually raising any reelection money or setting up a campaign, and now Republicans are going to desperately try to hold on to a seat that, a couple years ago, woulda been a total given. Let’s take a look at some of the likely candidates: 
Former … uh, we don’t remember what he was … senator? Governor? Let’s go with “governor.” Former governor Jim “James” Gilmore was apparently running for the GOP nomination for … president, apparently. But there’s terrible news! He is being forced to suspend his campaigning due to Emergency Eye Surgery!