Those two South Carolina county GOP chairs who got BUSTED yesterday for calling Sen. Jim DeMint a cheap Jew — as a compliment however! — have now apologized to the Internet. James Ulmer and Edwin Merwin, who wrote in response to an editorial attacking Jim DeMint for his weak procurement of federal dollars that, “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves,” now say that they did not mean any offense by using this line of logic that Adolf Hitler once heard and went insane over. MORE »

A Democratic state senator in South Carolina recently opined in The State that Sen. Jim DeMint, while rather deft in the arts of being tragically insane on a national level, does a poor job of bringing money home for his state, SOME OF WHICH MIGHT HELP. An unfair criticism? So unfair!, declared “Bamberg County GOP Chairman Edwin Merwin and Orangeburg County GOP Chairman James Ulmer” in a response. Let’s see how they made their case! “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy…” OH GOD. MORE »

Somebody take this Senator Jim DeMint and give him a lifetime appointment, because he is a national treasure. He is a Poet of Words. And for every sane thing he says — he does say some sane things, occasionally! — he says something sort of astonishing. Witness his latest interview with a South Carolina newspaper. MORE »

Your Wonkette Intern spent a delightful afternoon this past Tuesday with famed Obama apostle Howard Dean, who preached the Health Care gospel and even cured leprosy with his gentle touch. The sermon was hosted by none other than Kremlin subsidiary Campus Progress — surprise, surprise! MORE »

• John McCain on John McCain: “I have my own opinions on most issues now.” [Think Progress]
• Jim “The Duke of Wellington” DeMint hit the nail on the head, with his whole Waterloo comment. Even Barack Obama admits that his quest for world domination will likely fail. But which island nation will he be exiled to? Cuba? [RedState]
• Transparency has never looked so cloudy! [AMERICAblog]
• It’s official: Jon Stewart is the most trusted name in news. Honorable mention to write-in candidate Billy Mays, who was runner-up. [HuffPost]
• Oh brother! Now Matt is pontificating about “Food Cart Deregulation.” But will he reveal how it led to the subprime hot dog crisis? [Matt Yglesias]

• JIM DEMINT IS THE REAL MISS SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint has written a new book about Hitler/Obama and the Iran and, uh, the South American countries and like such as: “Part of what we’re trying to do in ‘Saving Freedom’ is just show that where we are, we’re about where Germany was before World War II where they became a social democracy. You still had votes but the votes were just power grabs like you see in Iran, and other places in South America, like Chavez is running down in Venezuela.” Hmm, we’ll wait for this one to come out on DVD. [Washington Independent via Washington Monthly]

A deer, which was being chased by a pack of dogs, which was being chased by Sarah Palin and a fleet of helicopters, which was being chased by that same deer, smashed into the window of a Greek restaurant in Silver Spring and then went to hide out in the bakery of a Giant. [WTOP] MORE »

• HERE’S A FUNNY SENATOR JIM DEMINT QUOTE THAT HAS EVERYBODY GOING NUTS! “Parents tell us … if they are sending their kids off to [D.C.] public schools, the chances are very good that they are going to end up in a gang rather than graduating high school.” The Washington Times originally kept out this “Parents tell us…” bit and attributed the full… thought?… to DeMint, which made DeMint very angry, and now the Times has TAKEN DOWN THE ENTIRE ARTICLE, which is kind of insane. But the point is, it’s factually wrong and parents are worrywarts so why he is paraphrasing their dumb whining? [NY Post, Raw Story, Institute for Southern Studies]

Hey if any of you far-away losers want to visit Washington D.C. on “vacation” soon, to teach your brat kids about America, now’s the grandest time of all! Because thanks to your $621 million in appropriated taxpayer funds — yes that’s right, 6, 2, and 1, glued together, a million of them, in dollars — a fancy new UNDERGROUND VISITOR CENTER at the U.S. Capitol finally opened on Tuesday. It is underground so you don’t get too cold or hot — depending on the season! — as your fat ass waits in line for a tour. One Senator, the very conservative Jim DeMint of South Carolina, despises this new visitor center — but not because of its completely inappropriate cost, of course! No, he’s just concerned that the center’s exhibits don’t praise God quite enough, and that the exhibits themselves are “left-leaning,” which is common D.C. slang for “gay.” MORE »

Thanks for all your guesses in response to yesterday’s blind item about a southern Republican congressman who has found himself in a bit of trouble. We won’t pass on the correctness or incorrectness of your guesses; we’ll just pass them along, with minimal comment.

Here was one of the better responses:

Oh God, oh God, oh God! Please, please, please let it be Jeff Sessions! And please let his mistress be John Cornyn!

Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. But it can’t be Jeff Sessions, since he’s a senator rather than a representative. Points for creativity, though!

More guesses, after the jump.

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