Tag: jim cramer

A power bottom for your gay love, and also your dollars.

Master Debater Ted Cruz Brilliantly Recites Pre-Written Tantrum

Ted Cruz, the Ivy League-educated Great Debater, has to be feeling pretty chuffed about his big "I paid for this microphone!" moment during Wednesday's terrible CNBC debate, which everyone except Jim Cramer agrees sucked, though why it sucked is...

Watch Liz Warren School Some CNBC Doofuses With Facts ‘N’ History

So here is a clip of Yr Wonkette's Imaginary BFF Elizabeth Warren making the hosts of CNBC's Squawk Box look like the pikers that they are. It's like watching a clip from The West Wing, only better, because this...

Crazed Teevee News Squirrel Jim Cramer Predicts Insane Obama Landslide, May Be On Many Pills

So this is the time in the election cycle when all the variously well-compensated pundits start actually making concrete predictions about how elections will go, for fun. Most, despite having spent the last several months explaining that nobody could...

We Think This Means That They’re Fixing Today’s Terrible, Terrible Wall Street Lies

Ha ha, no one will be buying credit-taker extraordinaire Jim Cramer a steak tonight after all, and Fat Fingers McGee will... who knows, get a bonus? The entire economy is fraud and comical nonsense: "Nasdaq Operations said it will...

Here’s Trillions Of Dollars Of Wealth Bouncing Around In One Minute, Depending On What The Teevee Says

There should be a Network-esque black comedy about this very moment on CNBC, immediately. The three-keys-wide fat finger of one monster at Citigroup sells off billions of shares of Procter & Gamble -- part of the Dow index --...

What Would Jesus Do If A Fly Landed On Him While Being Interviewed By John Harwood?

CNBC Jamaican Financial Psychic Jim Cramer just wants to do his televised Tarot reading in peace, but Barack Obama keeps calling in and asking tiresome questions about the future. Enough already! There is Andrew Sullivan, Heir of Isildur, who...

Howard Dean To Become New Jim Cramer

Doctor Howard Dean got a new job! He will be a "regular contributor" on CNBC, the important business channel which features idiots screaming at each other all day as the stock market does whatever it does -- up some...

Tucker Carlson Still Very Much Hates Jon Stewart

You all catch CNN's Reliables Sources the other day, about Jon Stewart? Exactly, so here's a little summary. Tucker Carlson, he has not gotten over "it" from four years ago, and also he works for an NBC company, so......

TIME TO ABANDON THIS SHIP: "Friday brought more tumult for CNBC anchor Jim Cramer, when the chief executive of his online financial news site, The Street.com, resigned." KEEP YOUR MONEY IN THESTREET.COM'S STOCK IT IS FINE.

Jon Stewart, Jim Cramer Make America Feel Pleasantly Uncomfortable

Here's a major chunk of the big Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer Daily Show interview that aired earlier tonight. "Devastating" is just not the right word. It's hard to remember the last time a teevee interview left us in such a...

OH RIGHT EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE DAILY SHOW VS. CNBC: We really don't think too much about Jim Cramer -- if you're making investment decisions based on some evening teevee show featuring a vulgar clown stomping...

Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that's been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched "cnbc wrong" on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with...

Jim Cramer a Paultard