Tag Archives: jim cramer

  the wrath from high atop the thing

Watch Liz Warren School Some CNBC Doofuses With Facts ‘N’ History

So here is a clip of Yr Wonkette’s Imaginary BFF Elizabeth Warren making the hosts of CNBC’s Squawk Box look like the pikers that they are. It’s like watching a clip from The West Wing, only better, because this lady is actually in the Senate and making things happen, like cosponsoring a bill to reinstate some parts of Glass-Steagall. It’s probably the best takedown of a bunch of chat-show idiots since that one time that Jon Stewart made Jim Cramer cry. Read more on Watch Liz Warren School Some CNBC Doofuses With Facts ‘N’ History…
  [wacky sound effect]

Crazed Teevee News Squirrel Jim Cramer Predicts Insane Obama Landslide, May Be On Many Pills

So this is the time in the election cycle when all the variously well-compensated pundits start actually making concrete predictions about how elections will go, for fun. Most, despite having spent the last several months explaining that nobody could possibly know the outcome of this extremely volatile election, come up with reasonable numbers that track suspiciously closely to one another. But some take their own path! And one of those people is Jim Cramer, whom you may know as “the guy whose show is supposedly about investing but seems to be mostly a manic bald man barking nonsense and pressing noise-buttons.” Cramer thinks Obama’s going to win. Like, really going to win. Win all the states. Does he know something we don’t? Read more on Crazed Teevee News Squirrel Jim Cramer Predicts Insane Obama Landslide, May Be On Many Pills…
  we're just a politics website

We Think This Means That They’re Fixing Today’s Terrible, Terrible Wall Street Lies

Ha ha, no one will be buying credit-taker extraordinaire Jim Cramer a steak tonight after all, and Fat Fingers McGee will… who knows, get a bonus? The entire economy is fraud and comical nonsense: “Nasdaq Operations said it will cancel all trades executed between 2:40 p.m. to 3 p.m. showing a rise or fall of more than 60 percent from the last trade in that security at 2:40 p.m or immediately prior… Separately, the New York Stock Exchange also said that it will cancel all trades executed between 2:40 p.m. and 3 p.m. that were more than 60 percent away from their last print at 2:40 p.m.” Socialists. Read more on We Think This Means That They’re Fixing Today’s Terrible, Terrible Wall Street Lies…
  goddamnit

Here’s Trillions Of Dollars Of Wealth Bouncing Around In One Minute, Depending On What The Teevee Says

There should be a Network-esque black comedy about this very moment on CNBC, immediately. The three-keys-wide fat finger of one monster at Citigroup sells off billions of shares of Procter & Gamble — part of the Dow index — just as Erin Burnett is deciding to talk about it, and then Jim Cramer says basically “oh shit someone should buy that,” and within 30 seconds we probably have a dozen or so newly-minted billionaires, but still no more “Europe” or jobs in general. [Business Insider] Read more on Here’s Trillions Of Dollars Of Wealth Bouncing Around In One Minute, Depending On What The Teevee Says…
  employment news

Howard Dean To Become New Jim Cramer

Doctor Howard Dean got a new job! He will be a “regular contributor” on CNBC, the important business channel which features idiots screaming at each other all day as the stock market does whatever it does — up some days, down some days, etc. Today he did a guest-hosting deal, on some CNBC show. Maybe he’s on right now, who knows! You see, only idiots watch CNBC. It’s a place for cocaine addicts and self-hating day traders and insane old people who think they can “beat the market” and actual retarded people who grab the phone away from the nurse and yell “BOO-YAH.” In other teevee shout-y news, Chris Matthews will be on MSNBC for another four years, which means he won’t be running for the Senate or whatever. [Sam Stein/New York Times] Read more on Howard Dean To Become New Jim Cramer…
  pundits on the teevee

Tucker Carlson Still Very Much Hates Jon Stewart

You all catch CNN’s Reliables Sources the other day, about Jon Stewart? Exactly, so here’s a little summary. Tucker Carlson, he has not gotten over “it” from four years ago, and also he works for an NBC company, so… yeah. Read more on Tucker Carlson Still Very Much Hates Jon Stewart…
  yoink

TIME TO ABANDON THIS SHIP: “Friday brought more tumult for CNBC anchor Jim Cramer, when the chief executive of his online financial news site, The Street.com, resigned.” KEEP YOUR MONEY IN THESTREET.COM’S STOCK IT IS FINE. [Crain’s] Read more on …
  whoa

Jon Stewart, Jim Cramer Make America Feel Pleasantly Uncomfortable

Here’s a major chunk of the big Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer Daily Show interview that aired earlier tonight. “Devastating” is just not the right word. It’s hard to remember the last time a teevee interview left us in such a state of stunned silence. As is often the case, Stewart interrupts his guest way too frequently given the breadth of his questions. But you can’t just cast this aside as some popular fake news comedy show host pulling a stunt for ratings. It’s the most ruthlessly honest, sobering conversation — from both sides — you’re likely to see on any show. Good. And note the lack of shouting. [YouTube] Read more on Jon Stewart, Jim Cramer Make America Feel Pleasantly Uncomfortable…
  teevee vs. teevee

OH RIGHT EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE DAILY SHOW VS. CNBC: We really don’t think too much about Jim Cramer — if you’re making investment decisions based on some evening teevee show featuring a vulgar clown stomping around a New Jersey soundstage, you’re sort of beyond help. But, Daily Show comic Jon Stewart decided to let this guy have it, we guess (can’t find the video), and here is your Open Thread, just go nuts. Read more on …
  everyone is mean on television

Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that’s been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched “cnbc wrong” on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn’t even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what’s a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean? Read more on Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES…
 

Jim Cramer a Paultard

newVideoPlayer("RonPaul_Snapper.flv", 475, 376);Notorious CNBC host Jim Cramer, one of the prime suspects on our Aspberger’s Watch, welcomed Ron Paul to his Mad Money program on Friday, and the two proceeded to play tummysticks on the subject of abolishing the Federal Reserve. Cramer’s hatred of the central bank became YouTuberously famous in August when he ranted about how all his poor i-banker friends were watching their profit margins narrow as the Fed wasn’t acting on the mortgage crisis. So despite the Fed’s smooth resolve in staving off recession during various South Asian financial crises and Russian debt defaults in the mid- to late-90s — flushes of liquidity that allowed Cramer to accrue a $50+ million fortune as a hedge fund manager — he wants to get rid of it. Ron Paul can have him. [Mad Money] Read more on Jim Cramer a Paultard…