• CNBC Jamaican Financial Psychic Jim Cramer just wants to do his televised Tarot reading in peace, but Barack Obama keeps calling in and asking tiresome questions about the future. Enough already! [Think Progress]
• There is Andrew Sullivan, Heir of Isildur, who hails from the faraway Atlantic. And then there is Anonymous, your teenage son, who comes from the Basement. They are part of the Fellowship of the Internet, and they must stop Sauron from stealing the election in Iran. [AMERICAblog]
• You look stressed. Why don’t you light a few candles, hop in the tub and relax to the celebrated album Whale Sounds and Michelle Malkin? The first track — “Closing Guantanamo is the easy and lazy thing to do” — always puts us in a magical Enya-like trance. [Michelle Malkin]
• For today’s RedState Bible Study we will be reading 1 Kings 3:16-28, The Judgement of King Obama: “And two women appeared before Obama and began to bicker in a most incommodious manner, both insisting they were the mother of some unborn baby, which wise King Obama knew was impossible. Finally, the King rose from his gilded throne and bellowed, ‘Bring the unborn child to me, so that I may abort it with my sword.’ And then King Obama swatted a fly that landed on his arm. The End.” [RedState]

Doctor Howard Dean got a new job! He will be a “regular contributor” on CNBC, the important business channel which features idiots screaming at each other all day as the stock market does whatever it does — up some days, down some days, etc. Today he did a guest-hosting deal, on some CNBC show. Maybe he’s on right now, who knows! You see, only idiots watch CNBC. It’s a place for cocaine addicts and self-hating day traders and insane old people who think they can “beat the market” and actual retarded people who grab the phone away from the nurse and yell “BOO-YAH.” In other teevee shout-y news, Chris Matthews will be on MSNBC for another four years, which means he won’t be running for the Senate or whatever. [Sam Stein/New York Times]

You all catch CNN’s Reliables Sources the other day, about Jon Stewart? Exactly, so here’s a little summary. Tucker Carlson, he has not gotten over “it” from four years ago, and also he works for an NBC company, so… yeah. MORE »

• TIME TO ABANDON THIS SHIP: “Friday brought more tumult for CNBC anchor Jim Cramer, when the chief executive of his online financial news site, The Street.com, resigned.” KEEP YOUR MONEY IN THESTREET.COM’S STOCK IT IS FINE. [Crain's]

Here’s a major chunk of the big Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer Daily Show interview that aired earlier tonight. “Devastating” is just not the right word. It’s hard to remember the last time a teevee interview left us in such a state of stunned silence. As is often the case, Stewart interrupts his guest way too frequently given the breadth of his questions. But you can’t just cast this aside as some popular fake news comedy show host pulling a stunt for ratings. It’s the most ruthlessly honest, sobering conversation — from both sides — you’re likely to see on any show. Good. And note the lack of shouting. [YouTube]

OH RIGHT EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE DAILY SHOW VS. CNBC: We really don’t think too much about Jim Cramer — if you’re making investment decisions based on some evening teevee show featuring a vulgar clown stomping around a New Jersey soundstage, you’re sort of beyond help. But, Daily Show comic Jon Stewart decided to let this guy have it, we guess (can’t find the video), and here is your Open Thread, just go nuts.

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that’s been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched “cnbc wrong” on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn’t even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what’s a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean? MORE »

Notorious CNBC host Jim Cramer, one of the prime suspects on our Aspberger’s Watch, welcomed Ron Paul to his Mad Money program on Friday, and the two proceeded to play tummysticks on the subject of abolishing the Federal Reserve. Cramer’s hatred of the central bank became YouTuberously famous in August when he ranted about how all his poor i-banker friends were watching their profit margins narrow as the Fed wasn’t acting on the mortgage crisis. So despite the Fed’s smooth resolve in staving off recession during various South Asian financial crises and Russian debt defaults in the mid- to late-90s — flushes of liquidity that allowed Cramer to accrue a $50+ million fortune as a hedge fund manager — he wants to get rid of it. Ron Paul can have him. [Mad Money]