Tag Archives: jill kelley

  AND TWINS!

Barack Obama Was Probably Banging Jill Kelley Obviously, Except For How He Is Gay

Well this is much better! Tampa nonsense queen Jill Kelley and her evil twin visited the White House three times this year, an administration official told AP. Obviously, this means President Barack Obama has been boning both of them, in the SitRoom, while eating popcorn and laughing while watching Christopher Stevens die. He did this because he is a murderer, obviously, but also probably to throw people off the scent of his Muslim homosexual marriage. Read more on Barack Obama Was Probably Banging Jill Kelley Obviously, Except For How He Is Gay…
  pix or it didnt happen

Ladies And Gentlemen, We Present To You: ‘The Shirtless F.B.I. Guy’

By all appearances, Frederick W. Humphries II, 47, has asked his remaining friends in the Federal Bureau of Investigation to reach out to The New York Times and speak as glowingly of his character as certain other people have spoken of certain other people’s maternal love. Wait, what? Oh, don’t worry about it. You guys, we got our SHIRTLESS FBI GUY!!1! (Photo from Seattle Times.) “Fred is a passionate kind of guy,” said one former colleague. “He’s kind of an obsessive type. If he locked his teeth onto something, he’d be a bulldog.” That description would appear to fit his involvement in the current investigation. Oh, New York Times, how we love it when you’re a catty bitch. Read more on Ladies And Gentlemen, We Present To You: ‘The Shirtless F.B.I. Guy’…
  long cons

A Shady Charity, Millions In Debt, And ‘Diplomatic Inviolability’: Tampa’s Good-Time Kelley Sisters Are Perfect Republicans

It’s completely not fair that we in the media have now turned our considerable interest on the Kelley sistren. All they did was either get some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, or be related to someone who got some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, and now here we are and the Kelley Girls are the worst people in the entire world, or as we like to call them, ur-Republicans. Let us delve deep into the grotesque and typically GOP-pish misdeeds of these awful people, who are frickin’ perfect in every way. Read more on A Shady Charity, Millions In Debt, And ‘Diplomatic Inviolability’: Tampa’s Good-Time Kelley Sisters Are Perfect Republicans…
  invasion of a rack

David Petraeus, Gen. John Allen, And Shirtless FBI Agent Sent Sexy Emails All The Time, To Everyone

Oh man is David Petraeus’ wiener getting people in trouble today. We already knew about Petraeus, a retired four-star general and (now former) director of the CIA, and how he started up an affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, and how Broadwell then sent a bunch of crazy threatening emails to some lady in Tampa, probably about how Tampa Lady’s face looks like it’s carved out of soap. We also knew that Petraeus and Broadwell then broke up, ending the first ever documented case of someone in the military community being unfaithful to their spouse. Then, Petraeus sent her “thousands” of emails, because he, apparently, is quite a dork, and somehow not at all busy running the Central Intelligence Agency. But WOW, is there more. Read more on David Petraeus, Gen. John Allen, And Shirtless FBI Agent Sent Sexy Emails All The Time, To Everyone…