Tag: jihad

Ted Cruz Narrowly Escapes Jaws Of Muslim Brotherhood

It's a day, so Ted Cruz is being a dick. Monday morning, he told a gay man at a town hall in New York how much he loves religious liberty, and how it applies to EVERYBODY, including Christians, Jews, atheists, and...
Gahhh! But not forgotten.

Ted Cruz To Invade Dearborn, Build Donald Trump’s Wall, Hopefully STFU At Some Point

Ted Cruz's putrid mouth slit sure does talk a lot, especially for somebody who's never going to be president of any of his native North American homelands. When news of the Brussels attacks broke Tuesday morning, Cruz closed the...

Ted Cruz Furious With Syrian Refugee Babies For Attacking Brussels Like That

Guess who won the contest for first Republican presidential candidate to say something real stupid and sadistic and racist in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks in Brussels? Surprise, it was Donald Trump. It's always Donald Trump. But Ted Cruz finally...
You can trust him, he's a doctor

Ben Carson Concerned About President Obama Inviting All These Muslim Terrorists To SOTU

The brilliant Dr. Ben Carson has a terrific new idea that is brilliant -- obviously, because the man's a genius -- and also it's like really articulate and stuff: "Let's go ahead and investigate the thing," he said. "Let's not be giving them...
This is actually a man from the United Arab Emirates, who got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too sexy. America wouldn't do that, right?

Obama Won’t Repopulate America With Sexxxy Gay Muslim Refugees. OR WILL HE?

Oh, this is just great. Not only does Barack Obama want to resettle somewhere upwards of eleventy-eight jillion (read: a measly 10,000) Syrian refugees in the United States, including the tiny toddler ones that make Fox News anchor Andrea...

FBI Director Said ‘Jihad,’ Everybody Wet Your Pants!

Not that anyone was waiting for further details before screaming OHHH GAWD MUSLIMS, but here it is, your moment of zen: In an appearance on Capitol Hill, the F.B.I.director, James B. Comey, said Wednesday that the couple, who met online,...
Never.

Here Are Some Terrific Republican Ideas For Defeating Terrorism

President Obama addressed a pants-sharting nation Sunday night, reassuring the countryfolk that in the wake of the awful San Bernardino terrorist attack/mass shooting, he will beat up ISIS, and no, you do not have to panic. And Republicans said, "You're right,...

FBI Finally Calls It Terrorism, Fox News Needs New Shorts

For viewers at home who were hoping, for some sick reason we cannot fathom, the deadly shooting Wednesday in San Bernardino, California, by now-dead suspects Syed Farook and Tashfeen Malik, was a terrorist attack -- instead of simply another one of those...
I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Cops Disappoint Fox News Morons, Still Refuse To Call San Bernardino Shootings ‘Terrorism’

The Fox News Couch of Knicker-Jizzing Hysteria was in full effect Thursday morning. Andrea Tantaros, Meghan McCain, and whatever the other ones' names are yapped at each other, because the latest press conference on the San Bernardino shootings was...
San Bernardino Police Chief Jarrod Burguan, i.e. the man with the information.

Here’s What We Know About San Bernardino Mass Shooting. The Rest Is Just Noise.

Fourteen people were murdered, and another 17 shot and injured, during a mass shooting on Wednesday, at the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino, California, a large facility that serves the developmentally disabled. It was the second mass shooting in...
No, don't apply for jihad, koala bear! Don't do it!

So You Think You Can Be An Al Qaeda? Show Us What You Got.

The Obama administration dumped some documents on Wednesday related to the raid in Abbottabad, Pakistan, which SUPPOSEDLY resulted in the many-shots-fired-to-the-face killing of Osama bin Laden, if you're willing to believe the lamestream media. Seems the administration would like to poke some...
Another axe-wielding Minnesota maniac

Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim

Dead Breitbart's Foundation For Frothing Paranoia brought us a whole new frontier in guilt by association Tuesday, revealing the shocking connections between the idiot jihadist-wannabes who tried to shoot up a stupid anti-Islam hatefest in Texas and a Somali...
Can't we all just get along n stuff?

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin So Mad Obama Won’t Stop Murdering The African Christians

On this week's Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker, Sarah Palin provides further evidence that news travels to Alaska via dogsled, paddlewheel steamers, and three-eyed ravens. We simply cannot come up with any other explanation for this bit of Palin-flavored...
Dana Loesch, America's greatest living satirist

Dana Loesch Has Very Clever, Satirical Humor Thoughts About Dumb Ay-rabs

Move over, Mark Twain, because there's a new master of English-language political satire, and it is bespectacled she-troll Dana Loesch! It has been a while since Loesch graced us with her signature brand of satire. Thankfully, she is here...
And Billo was one of the more restrained ones

How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)

While Parisians took to the streets with their "Je Suis Charlie" signs yesterday to quietly express solidarity with the murdered satirists and bystanders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the American Wingnut-Industrial Complex was in Full Panic Mode, explaining...
When in doubt, use this picture

Michele Bachmann Has Had It With Obama Supporting Jihad By Bombing ISIS

Former Congressidiot Michele Bachmann explained in a recent interview that even when Barack Obama is trying to get one group of Muslims to bomb the hell out of another group of Muslims, he is actually advancing worldwide Islamic jihad,...