Here’s your Friday Musical Interlude, by everybody’s favorite president, Richard M. Nixon! This is after he lost to Kennedy (IT WAS RIGGED) and was reduced to making appearances on the Jack Paar show. And we have no idea why the sound turns off at the end of the clip, but it’s probably something to do with National Security.

Richard Nixon plays his Piano Concerto #1 [YouTube]

Good news, America! Our long half-century war with Cuban sensation Fidel Castro may finally be over, because he’s dead. Maybe. Our blogging comrade Perez Hilton (who is Cuban, and from Florida) is reporting exclusively that he heard a rumor that U.S. officials will soon announce Castro’s death. Another exclusive report is here, making it all the more exclusive. MORE »

Shockingly obvious new evidence proves that the bullets that killed President Kennedy could’ve basically come from anywhere and at anytime, even the future. The strongest case for mysterious weirdo Lee Harvey Oswald being one of the Lone Gunmen was that the two shots that killed JFK were extremely unique for some reason and could only have been fired from Oswald’s rifle. But researchers found plenty of other “exact matches” for the bullet fragments, including from new boxes of ammo.

Read more stuff that Gerald Ford is no longer around to “edit,” after the jump.

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* New JFK assassination film released only 45 years after the Powers That Be killed him. It’s great how the “amateur photographer” got establishing shots of the Texas School Book Depository and the sixth-floor windows before the murder. [Raw Story]
* The teevee causes “cancer, autism, dementia” and other problems, no matter what you watch. PBS probably causes AIDS. [Scotsman]
* Seriously, watching the teevee will kill you, and then your corpse will sit there for a year or so. [IHT]
* Texas congressman Sam Johnson (R-Schizophrenic) was all for withholding U.S. military funding in Bosnia because “the president has tied our hands, gone against the wishes of the American people, and this is the last best way I know how to show my respect for our American servicemen and women.” Obviously, he loves the Iraq Surge today. [Reason Hit & Run]
* U.S. spies reading, laughing at your e-mail. [Cryptogon]
* This little fascist Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Cunt) wants all your Internet traffic and searches and IMs and emails recorded forever and provided to the government, even though Google already does that. {Security Focus]
* WALNUTS! McCain kicks Rummy when he’s down. [CNN]

As our nation mourns this tragic loss, we urge you to share your memories and baseless opinions here in the comments. There is no word, yet, on whether or not federal offices will be closed Friday — but you can assume they will be, so don’t worry about going to work. Our flagpoles are all at half-mast tonight. MORE »

While the prohibition on black presidents has been (temporarily) repealed, presidents have not been allowed to be smokers for nearly half a century — JFK learned the hard way in Dallas, one of the earliest fanatical non-smoking cities. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Mary Landrieu said: “I often think we would have been better off if the terrorists had blown up our levees. Maybe we’d have gotten more attention.” Also trashed Mississippi… House GOP Flacks arrive at weekly meeting to find Cannon Caucus room double-booked. They were forced to move chairs themselves. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former State Sec George Shultz sports a suit pinstriped with his goddamn name. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Fun scene from Terry McAuliffe’s new book about his daughter playing “mermaid” in a pool with Hillary Clinton… Name expert on ‘08 contenders: Brownback “sounds like a good ‘ol Western boy,” “Mitt is a very ugly name,” “I love Vilsack because it’s foreign.” Karl Rove went to Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Norm Coleman shows up for a vote, forgets tie. This is apparently a violation of Senate rules. Someone brought him a tie, though, so we can’t kick him out. Also the MN Democratic party lied about him “blocking” the minimum wage bill… Bono kept a “low profile” when he was here last. Despite this we still have to hear about it. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: At last week’s National Review Institute’s Conservative Summit, you missed everyone passing around a doctored version of Rita Cosby’s business card with “For a good time, call…” printed on it… “Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., was spotted walking out the back door of that lobbyist mecca, Capital Grille.” [Politico]
* Page Six: JFK and Robert Stack will get you laid! [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Republicans hate Rudy. [NYDN]

Beloved Watergate criminal E. Howard Hunt finally died this week at the rotten old age of 88 — just a week after he publicly blamed Lyndon Johnson for ordering the assassination of John F. Kennedy. As Hunt himself has long been suspected of being one of the CIA black-ops artists behind JFK’s murder in Dallas, that was a pretty weird revelation.

As he begins his eternal torture in Hell, let’s look back at the curiously rich and varied life of a man who maybe didn’t start off 100% crooked … after the jump.

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Watergate criminal and lifelong sleazebag E. Howard Hunt is finally dead, the AP reports. He was 88. MORE »

Barack Hussein Obama has a lot in common with a certain other Senator who wanted to be President, according to Newsweek: MORE »

Yet more double-secret-probation Gerald Ford interviews have been revealed, this time from the vaults of the Grand Rapids Press. Jerry Ford was the kind of pretend president who gave these kind of interviews not only to Bob Woodward, but also to his hometown newspaper in Michigan. Who knows what secrets have yet to be unveiled by the Palm Desert Sun?!

Join us after the jump for Jerry Ford cold hatin’ on Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan as our super-special “That ’70s Week” mercifully comes to a close … assuming it will ever end at all.

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