Tag Archives: jezebel

  anals of journamalism

Chuck C. Johnson Had Busy Weekend Looking Even Stupider, If That’s Possible

It was either a pic of a cute orange kittie or a pic of a not-cute orange assclown.
Scabrous taint weasel Chuck C. Johnson was at it again this weekend. And by “at it again,” we mean falling for Internet hoaxes and old parody newspaper stories, threatening to sue people for libel, giving interviews so full of narcissistic self-regard we wonder how the interviewers could hear him with his head so far up his own ass, and generally making himself the most pathetic media spectacle since Howard Hughes’s diaries turned up in a burlap sack in the desert near Las Vegas. Read more on Chuck C. Johnson Had Busy Weekend Looking Even Stupider, If That’s Possible…
  sound and fury signifying nothing

What Is Everyone Yelling About Today? Photoshopping Lena Dunham For Vogue Of Course!

Yesterday, Jezebel offered a $10,000 bounty to anyone who would slip them the unretouched photos from Lena Dunham’s Vogue cover shoot. We immediately had to endure a spate of pieces about it ranging from the OMG Photoshop Fail variety to the obligatory feministy thinkpiece about how it was totally a lady-positive act to demand the unretouched pix make it into the wild. Read more on What Is Everyone Yelling About Today? Photoshopping Lena Dunham For Vogue Of Course!…
  who's your daddy?

In Shocking Twist No One Could Have Predicted, Daily Caller Does Not Like Book By Angry Ladies At Jezebel

We’ve no idea why you’d wander over to the puddle of whine privilege that is the Daily Caller to read a book review, particularly a review of a book by feminist ladies. Irony? A long history of making poor life choices? For the sheer lulz? If it was the latter, oh, did Daily Caller deliver for you this time. Apparently they employ a creature named Mark Judge, and they let Mr. Judge review books for them. Well, “review” is probably too strong a term. They let him shape a bog-standard Daily Caller angerblargle around whatever book he happened to read the back cover of recently. This week, Mark tries his hand at an epic takedown of the new book by the editors of Jezebel, The Book of Jezebel: An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Lady Things. Read more on In Shocking Twist No One Could Have Predicted, Daily Caller Does Not Like Book By Angry Ladies At Jezebel…
  set the ocean on fire

Sad Bro Just Wants His Meat, Shy Girls, Sperms

Oh that Jezebel, with its commenters yawling about cisgendered heteronormativity and whatnot. But it also has Lindy West! Here, for your Sunday morning, is Ms. West throwing a dude’s box of garbage into the ocean, lighting the ocean on fire, and tesseracting to another dimension, because every woman who was once a girl read A Wrinkle in Time times 50 back when she was but a young Meg. Read more on Sad Bro Just Wants His Meat, Shy Girls, Sperms…
  that is racial transcendence

A History Of Scott Baio, Newest Romney Donor, Not Being Racist

Some time in the distant sworls of misty time, Mitt Romney’s newest backer (to the tune of 10,000 simoleons), Scott Baio, of Joanie Loves Chachi, sent out a “funny” tweeter of Michelle Obama, and he was all like U UGLY LOL and other tweeterers called him racist, even though he didn’t call Michelle Obama a monkey or photoshop her in a bucket of fried chicken OR ANYTHING! Join us for a trip through Scott Baio not being racist, where it says “read more.” Read more on A History Of Scott Baio, Newest Romney Donor, Not Being Racist…
  wheeeeee

FAME AND RICHES: Whoa hey what’s this, your male associate editor woke up in the SINGLE DIGIT HOURS of morning, an all-time first, to participate in his very first “Crappy Hour” on the ladies’ blog, Jezebel. The topic was, “politics.” [Jezebel] Read more on …
 

D.C. Madam Found Dead!

Yikes! Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the D.C. Madam who sold whores to David Vitter and other “famous” folks in the Washington area, has “apparently” committed suicide after being convicted of money laundering and racketeering. Police found her dead in her mother’s Tarpon Springs, Florida home today. She had not yet been sentenced. Maybe someone was going for a plea deal? WHAT IS HAPPENING? [Fox 13] Read more on D.C. Madam Found Dead!…
 

Our Second Annual ‘Hopefully The Last White House Correspondents Post Ever’

It was quite the star-studded affair in Washington D.C. Saturday evening for the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, perhaps the District’s biggest social night of the year. This is the one where journalists and the politicos they cover congregate in an overt celebration of their inappropriate friendships — you know, the ones that caused the Iraq War. All of America can drink to that! Obviously the public-at-large wouldn’t care about a journalism party — they are not for the soft-at-heart, or people who have lives — if it weren’t for the WHCD’s other strange attraction, the liberal Hollywood Movie Star guests! Your Wonkette’s associate editor and videographer/Polaroidist Liz Glover donned our best church clothes Saturday to witness the proceedings, and all we got were strange memories and a wretched purple umbrella that says “Bloomberg.” The troubling story, below! Read more on Our Second Annual ‘Hopefully The Last White House Correspondents Post Ever’…
 

‘Hannah Montana Bill’ Gets Minnesota Legislators Hot

Minnesota’s legislature thinks it’s the bee’s knees these days because it is the first state legislature to pass what is known as a “Hannah Montana bill” in Insider Parlance. The bill — named after potentially whorish “tween-age pop TV icon” Miley Cyrus’ Disney channel character — bans software that enables “vendors to grab up blocks of tickets before much of the public can” and then sell them back online for hundreds of millions of dollars. Apparently many, many people wanted to see this underage gal lip-sync some songs last year but could not. Read more on ‘Hannah Montana Bill’ Gets Minnesota Legislators Hot…
 

Does Barack Obama Hate Tanning Salons?

People who go to Tanning Salons are poor white trash, according to some dingbat website we’ve never encountered before just now. Elitists say the tanning craze was briefly “in” with the wealthy people in like 1958 and again in spring of 1992, but that was all, ever, and throughout history having a “suntan” just meant you spent all your time outside doing hard labor. “There is no easier way to tell that someone is white trash than by whether he or she has a tan,” some self-proclaimed Beauty Expert told this website. What other ways do poor, bitter people broadcast their socio-economic status to their Elitist Betters? The answers might surprise you! Read more on Does Barack Obama Hate Tanning Salons?…
 

Casting ‘n’ Condicising

Last week was fun for Condi fans, but not so much fun for Condoleezza herself. She got dragged around by Bush on his farewell lap around NATO, and she had some laffs with George, but mostly was kind of a fifth wheel. Back home, the rest of us got to enjoy hot new Condicising photos and we finally learned who’s playing Madame Secretary in Oliver Stone’s Bush movie. Find out who the lucky actress is after the jump! Read more on Casting ‘n’ Condicising…
 

Is Carla Bruni Knocked Up Again?

Here is a photo of France’s new First Lady arriving in England with her midget husband. Her outfit speaks diplomatic volumes: flats, so as not to tower over M. Sarkozy; modest tweed, so as to remind Camilla of her youth back in the Depression. (In turn, Camilla wears a trashy befeathered nightmare hat because she is a tart.) But the real question is, why would a rail-thin former model be sporting a little belly pooch? We smell shotgun wedding. [The Sun] Read more on Is Carla Bruni Knocked Up Again?…
 

Is Meghan McCain Cool, Or Just a Brat?

The April issue of GQ features a delightful profile of Meghan McCain, the 23-year-old daughter of WALNUTS! and famous Blogette. Somehow she procured full access to the McCain campaign, and has done a dutiful job reporting on the minutiae of life on the trail — namely, her favorite songs, what shoes she and her Blogette friends wear to town halls, and which McCain advisers are hot. The lady does not filter, she’s a liberal like her father, and she alternatively makes you hate and love your life. Read more on Is Meghan McCain Cool, Or Just a Brat?…
 

Condi’s Running Out of Time

A Condoleezza road show is so much fun! Our Condi bounced from Egypt to Ramallah to Tel Aviv to Brussels, enjoying several perfect photo-ops along the way. The only problem was that outside the photo-ops, it was one of the most incriminating Condiweeks EVER, brimming with embarrassments, snubs, that Gaza Strip thing, and OMG, Glenn Kessler! So mean! Let’s all pile on with Glenn after the jump! Read more on Condi’s Running Out of Time…
 

Clinton Snags Coveted Endorsement From ‘Desperate Housewives’ Actress

For all of you who wept the day that handsome Tony Parker married that little soap opera tart, it’s time to weep again: for America. Eva Longoria Parker supports Hillary Clinton, and when she explains why you might find yourself wishing she sounded as brilliant as another noteworthy Clinton booster, Paula Abdul. Frightening YouTube footage after the jump. Read more on Clinton Snags Coveted Endorsement From ‘Desperate Housewives’ Actress…