By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, kids, remember your civics class, where you learned that there are other parts of the government that aren’t currently controlled by Muslims? There’s the so-called “Supreme Court,” which everyone ignores most of the time right up until they legalize gayness; but then there’s this other thing, whaddya call it, Congress, and there’s like dozens and dozens of those jackholes, so even though they aren’t “worse” than President Antichrist on an individual level, there are more of them, so it kind of balances out! Anyway, one half of Congress just passed some crazy-ass law last week. How did they manage to do this? Simple: DEVIL MAGIC. MORE »

Now why’d he do this: “Political observers across New York are asking today whether Erie County Executive Chris Collins has irreparably damaged his prospects for statewide office after he compared Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver to Adolf Hitler and an Antichrist during a Saturday speech in Buffalo.” The best part is that Sheldon Silver is a Jew, and Jews are terrified of Hitler and Christians calling them Antichrists. No, wait. The best part is that Chris Collins meant this as a “joke,” when he called the Jew those awful names. No, wait. The best part is after the jump! Oh ho ho! MORE »

Those two South Carolina county GOP chairs who got BUSTED yesterday for calling Sen. Jim DeMint a cheap Jew — as a compliment however! — have now apologized to the Internet. James Ulmer and Edwin Merwin, who wrote in response to an editorial attacking Jim DeMint for his weak procurement of federal dollars that, “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves,” now say that they did not mean any offense by using this line of logic that Adolf Hitler once heard and went insane over. MORE »

A Democratic state senator in South Carolina recently opined in The State that Sen. Jim DeMint, while rather deft in the arts of being tragically insane on a national level, does a poor job of bringing money home for his state, SOME OF WHICH MIGHT HELP. An unfair criticism? So unfair!, declared “Bamberg County GOP Chairman Edwin Merwin and Orangeburg County GOP Chairman James Ulmer” in a response. Let’s see how they made their case! “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy…” OH GOD. MORE »

Today through Saturday, September 26: You eat out at participating DC restaurants, and children all over the world, even those in the shittiest countries, will stop eating each other. [Great American Dine-Out] MORE »

Solid gold, gold, gold! (Except for the shitty local ad in the beginning — sorry!) This insane hell-woman at a town hall in Las Vegas overhears an Israeli man praising Israel’s national health care system, and says from afar, “HEIL HITLER!” Then she calls him gay for Obama and laughs like a baby when he explains that the American health care system basically bankrupted him. Does this lady have a name? Because we’d love to engrave this incident on “her Google,” permanently. UPDATE: This RUDIMENTARY video player may or may not have been destroying the beloved Wonkette Commenting System! Just go watch it at fancypants Think Progress, where nothing dies. MORE MADNESS: Tipster LUKE writes, “The evil, evil woman in the video is wearing an Israeli Defense Forces t-shirt. What the fuck?” Everyone is lying in this wretched country! [Sigh] Enough typing for the day. [Think Progress]

The last time an Arkansas Republican candidate for Senate made the news, it was for sneeringly referring to Senator Chuck Schumer as a dangerous Jew. But this new guy, he says “I don’t want to do a Kim Hendren,” referring to Kim Hendren, the wingnut Senate hopeful who made the Schumer-Jew remark. And that’s why this new character, Conrad Reynolds, tells the Arkansas Democrat Gazette he needs to be super careful with his answers! These days, it seems like even a harmless watermelon joke will make the headlines! MORE »

New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz, known for his colorful view (complete hatred) of Arabs, read in an Israeli newspaper that Dennis Ross was being replaced as “Iran Czar” or whatever. Granted the State Department has denied this news report, and Dennis Ross never even held the position Peretz claims he did, but still, did Barack Obama do this because he’s an anti-Semite or a pussy or both? MORE »

Arkansas state Sen. Kim Hendren (Wingnut) wants to be a real-life senator in Washington, so he described Chuck Schumer to some local wingnut group as “that Jew.” But he didn’t mean anything by it! Schumer’s a Jew, after all. Just making note of the facts! “I ought not to have referred to it at all,” Hendren told the AP. “When I referred to him as Jewish, it wasn’t because I don’t like Jewish people. I shouldn’t have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue.” Well said! [New York Daily News]

Get ready, it’s Cherry Blossom time! Starting tomorrow all the out-of-towners you just had to accommodate, in January, will suddenly take an interest in visiting again. [DCist] MORE »

Norm Coleman, the humanoid Flowbee and lizard-king who represented Minnesota in the Senate, once, would like to be a senator again but the nasty courts are still legislating from the bench. So while he waits for whatever legal stuff to confirm that he is, in fact, a loser, he has taken a(nother) new, awesomer job. MORE »