Tag Archives: jesus these people

  i saw satan laughing with delight

Tennessee Church Harshes Nice Time, Shuns Mom For Holding Gay Daughter’s Hand

Wouldn’t you know it — a Tennessee church has gone and thrown a big steaming pile of Godnastiness all over our nice-time story from a couple weeks back. As you may recall, the Chattanooga suburb of Collegedale became the first city in Tennessee to offer equal benefits to same-sex spouses of its municipal employees, and we all had a nice warm feeling about that. And we all applauded Collegedale police detective Kat Cooper, who had testified in favor of the new law and led the effort to get it passed. And now, Kat Cooper’s mother, Linda, has been expelled from her church for standing with her daughter at the city council meetings. Oh, Christianists — is there anything you can’t turn into an excuse for ugliness and division in the name of the Prince of Peace? Read more on Tennessee Church Harshes Nice Time, Shuns Mom For Holding Gay Daughter’s Hand…
  kkkkkkk

Brazilian Preacher Arrested After Offering Followers ‘Holy Milk’ From His Peen (He Meant Sperms) (Updated: Yeah, It’s A Hoax)

(Update: Almost definitely a hoax; details at end of post) We don’t know that we can add much to the basics of this one, if it turns out to be true (and let’s note right away that the story is so far mostly on seriously fringey websites like David Ickes and “Vaticancrimes”, so take this one with a grain of salted rat dick). A Brazilian evangelical pastor, Valdeci Sobrino Picanto, has been arrested after promising his parishioners that they could get generous helpings of the Holy Spirit by ingesting it directly from his little bishop. It’s novel, at least, and is newsworthy if only for its brilliant synthesis of the two possible meanings of what kind of person is born every minute. Read more on Brazilian Preacher Arrested After Offering Followers ‘Holy Milk’ From His Peen (He Meant Sperms) (Updated: Yeah, It’s A Hoax)…
  You've Got To be Carefully Taught

New Children’s Book Explains Why Heather’s Two Mommies Will Burn Forever In Hell

OK, so much for that “nice time” crap. Here’s a happy little children’s book to “sensitively” explain to children, “with love and compassion,” why God gets really, really worked up about whose genitals are allowed to touch, and why such limited touching must only happen inside a heterosexual marriage. It must be an excellent book, because it is endorsed by the American Patriarchy Association — which we suppose explains why, in defiance of American idiom, the book’s title has “Dad and Mom,” instead of “Mom and Dad” the way virtually everyone says it. Read more on New Children’s Book Explains Why Heather’s Two Mommies Will Burn Forever In Hell…
  David played and it pleased the lord

Texas Pastor Tried To Make Teen Girl Strip, But Probably Just Wanted To Share Bible Lessons

A Texas pastor has been arrested on charges of “attempted sexual performance of a child” after trying to coerce an underaged girl to take off her clothes and show him some “eye candy.” Jeffrey Dale Williams, a senior pastor at the Church of Corinth, was arrested after the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services forwarded complaints to the police, who then obtained two hours of audio recordings of Williams trying to persuade the girl to strip for him at her home. Corinth police Captain Greg Wilkerson also noted that Williams allegedly used a chair to block a door so that the girl, who was begging him to stop, could not leave. Surprisingly, there have been no reports of random violence against other Christians in the wake of this news, and no outraged calls for closing Christian churches as potential dens of child molestation, because when Christians do terrible things, they are an anomaly to that religion’s message of peace. Read more on Texas Pastor Tried To Make Teen Girl Strip, But Probably Just Wanted To Share Bible Lessons…
  Derp In The Heart of Texas

Texas Schools Implement Carefully Crafted Law By Teaching Bible As 100% Fact

So, back in 2007, the Texas legislature passed a law mandating that all public schools in the state include instruction on “the Hebrew Scriptures” and the New Testament and their impact on literature and history. Don’t worry, supporters of the law said, we aren’t going to be teaching religious doctrine, this law is all about teaching the cultural importance of the Bible. And in fact the law was written to comply with court cases governing how the Bible can legally be taught in schools. The law states its purpose is to teach students knowledge of biblical content, characters, poetry, and narratives that are prerequisites to understanding contemporary society and culture, including literature, art, music, mores, oratory, and public policy See? All nice and secular-like! We just want kids to be able to understand the allusions in Shakespeare, supporters said. You want kids to understand Shakespeare, dontcha? Oh, and while the law included guidelines aimed at keeping the new Bible classes constitutional, the legislature didn’t allocate funds for curriculum development or for teacher training, leaving districts and teachers to make it up as they went along. Which may be why the Texas Freedom Network published a report last week finding that many Texas schools’ Bible classes are teaching that the Bible is literally true, that the Earth is 6000 years old, and that the Rapture is imminent. Oops. Read more on Texas Schools Implement Carefully Crafted Law By Teaching Bible As 100% Fact…
  Lies From the Pit Of Hell

Irish Hospital Lets Woman Die Because Her Life Wasn’t ‘Endangered’ Enough For Abortion

We were worried that you, the Wonkette Reader, might not have quite enough rage coursing through you today, and so here is the story, via Dan Savage at The Stranger, of Savita Halappanavar, a 31-year-old woman who died in Galway, Ireland, last month after doctors decided that, although she was already miscarrying and there was no chance her 17-week-old fetus could survive, she didn’t quite qualify to have her life saved because the dying fetus still had a heartbeat. Ireland’s abortion law only allows the procedure when the mother’s life is in danger, just like the “moderate” position that Mitt Romney proposed, and which “pro-life” purists (including the 2012 GOP platform) oppose because, as Congressman Joe Walsh asserted in his final debate before losing his bid for reelection, “pro-life” people believe “There’s no such exception as life of the mother. And as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology, health of the mother has become a tool for abortions anytime under any reason.” And since they are quite sure of this, it is assuredly so. Read more on Irish Hospital Lets Woman Die Because Her Life Wasn’t ‘Endangered’ Enough For Abortion…