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Posts Tagged ‘jesus fucking christ’

CAN'T THEY JUST RENOUNCE MEDICARE AND STFU?

Oh Yeah, There Was Also Somebody With a Gun Hiding In This High School, Waiting For Obama

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

Eh, looks innocent.Here’s a police department mugshot of the guy found at the New Hampshire high school where Obama did his wingnut-free health-care Logan’s Run talky talk. Richard Terry Young, age 62, was reportedly grabbed by the cops and/or Secret Service at Portsmouth High School on Tuesday morning before Obama arrived. Dude had a knife, and the cops reportedly found his car nearby, with an unregistered loaded gun inside. MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Another Day, Another ‘Republican Activist’ Caught Sending Racist Anti-Obama Crap

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Republican humor.Yep, the Earth is still here and the Internet still exists, so that means yet another Republican Activist has been caught sending terrible racist anti-Obama bullshit to his racist Internet pals. It’s funny, that’s why! Meet wingnut anti-health-care-reform Tea Party idiot Dr. David McKalip … or, better yet, don’t meet him! Just read about him, and shake your head, sadly. McKalip sent around a hee-larious image of Obama’s head and face — with a bone through the nose, of course — photoshopped atop the body of a dark-skinned tribesman of some kind. Underneath the picture is a very comical “Obama-Care” logo featuring, of course, a hammer and sickle. Click MORE if you need to see it. MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Send these fuckers to the FEMA camps, quick! This would be terrifying if it wasn’t about some lamer old wingnuts and their message board: The person who runs FreeRepublic.com is cold gonna overthrow the U.S. government — that means you, blackenstein — and ho ho, no more taxes on the millionaires! Hooray! Anyway, folks, things are getting Seriously Weird with the wingnuts, birthers, paultards and other middle-aged white suckers who bought into that whole Reagan thing 30 years ago and, whoops, are still poor and doomed. MORE »


PUBLISHING NEWS

Fake-Boobed Dingbat Homophobe Carrie Prejean Lands Book Deal!

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

Carrie Prejean, is not my lover. She's just a girl, who hates the gays and eats shit.As Sarah Palin proved to a disgusted nation, you don’t need to know how to write or even read to get a book deal in End Times America. All you need to be is a disgraced former beauty contestant who hates the same fruits and coloreds as Red State America, where illiteracy is no barrier to buying, say, a Glenn Beck book at the Wal-Mart. What do you call a dumb bigot with big hair, high heels and a few pounds of makeup? How about America’s Next Top Author? MORE »


BIRTHERS

Brave Army Man Sues Nobama To Avoid War

Monday, July 13th, 2009

But I ain't marchin' anymore ....Army Major (?!) Stefan Frederick Cook is supposed to be shipped to Afghanistan this week, to fight in the war there, as Army people are often expected to do in times of war. But instead, he’s seeking some kind of restraining order, in federal court, because he does NOT want to go there to that war, because he has some very legitimate concerns about Barack Obama’s birth in Hawaii forty-seven years ago. Also, this Army Major’s court complaint says he’s super scared of committing “war crimes” or something. Should’ve thought about that before those recruiter dudes at the strip mall talked you into enlisting! [Ledger-Enquirer]


UPPITY PRESIDENTS

Hey, When Did Blacks Start Making EYE CONTACT With Americans?

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

'Give you delusions of grandeur and evil eye, Give you the idea that you're too good to die, Then they bury you from your head to your feet, From the disease of conceit.'Let’s see, what do the nuts have to complain about today? That Barack Hussein is lookin’ at white folk in a critical-like fashion! Yes, yes he can. So much for the “good old days,” when the only coloreds in the White House were the Help, and you can bet your white ass they wouldn’t be all up in your grill, looking at you, when you were talking to them. Barack Obama should jes’ look down at his loose shoes when he’s gettin’ spoke to. [The Awl]


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Republicans + Email = Racist Anti-Obama Stuff

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

What? What is racist about this?Hmm, any Republicans forward some Email lately? Oh yes, sure, here we go: “Diann Jones, a vice chairman of the Collin County Republican Party, has apologized for an e-mail that some local judges denounced as racist.” Hooray! As is usual in such cases, this GOP leader from this Dallas exurb is denying any racist intent in sending this email bitching about the “black house” where Obama is plotting against Americans, an email she sent to all the Republicans in “local Republican clubs,” because the REAL crime is that one of the recipients, a local Republican judge, is kind of tired of his party being a bunch of idiot racists, so he sent it to a bunch of other judges, who will HMMMM pass judgment on Diann Jones, in some Texas form of justice, such as a mild rebuke? MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Tom Tancredo Top Aide Guilty of Racial Hate Crime

Monday, June 1st, 2009

http://img.wonkette.com/images/thumbs/8e3555d639602b4536473d64ee1b8caf.jpgSurprise, surprise: “On July 7, 2007, at approximately 7:15 p.m. at Jefferson and M Street, Northwest, in Washington, D.C., defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complainant, Ms. [REDACTED], who is African-American. The defendant uttered, ‘Nigger,’ as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head.” [Washington Independent]


ALL FOUR THINGS

The United States of America, In One Video

Monday, June 1st, 2009

And if my thought-dreams could be seen, They'd probably put my head in a guillotine, But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only ...
No comment necessary, as this is America. [YouTube]


VILLAINS

Nazi Pope Believes the Holocaust, Now That He’s In Israel

Monday, May 11th, 2009

The devil wears Prada.Monstrous wingnut Joseph Ratzinger somehow became pope a few years ago — this is because of ancient Catholic-Sith rules dictating that each “good pope” must be followed by a “loathsome beast.” But Ratzi is unique even among the Sith Popes, for he is the first Bishop of Rome to be an actual Nazi, for Hitler, in Nazi Germany. Jesus, talk about your breaking of historical barriers …. Obama’s got nothing on this creep! Anyway, Ratzinger comically lived up to expectations by supporting actual Holocaust-denying fellow wingnut bishops, and now he’s in Israel kissing ass, but luckily nobody believes his evil horseshit. MORE »


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

Michele Bachmann Learns of Serious Flu Scare, Decides To Speak Anyway

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.America’s joke, Congresslady and full-time lunatic Michele Bachmann, woke this morning from her barbiturate-wine cooler stupor, crawled on her hands and bloodied knees to the AM-only radio permanently tuned to the local wingnut talk station, and happened to catch the national news bulletin: An influenza pandemic! It sounded pretty serious, whatever “pandemic” meant. Michele Bachmann needed to craft a response — you know, something that would, uh, blame a swine/bird/human flu virus on, uhm, LIBERALS, right? MORE »