jesus fucking christ
Here’s Some Sex Cartoon of the Devil Boning Rick Santorum Or Something
Those Taiwanese animators are sure having some sexytime fun with Rick Santorum. It is important to wonder if these Taiwanese animators are even American, the way they attack our most precious institutions (Satan, Rick Santorum). [NMA.tv/YouTube]
Fancy Old Man In Bejeweled Golden Hat Warns of ‘Christmas Glitter’
A creepy old priest-king clad in Prada slippers, flowing robes of silken embroidery and an enormous bejeweled golden hat warned Christians that the true meaning of Christmas was being lost to a sinful pursuit of “glitter.”
Michele Bachmann Leaves ‘Gay Marcus’ Out of Family Xmas Video
Oh look, Michele Bachmann doesn’t even know the names of the random “children” she assembled to make this dumb Christmas video to remind everyone that her gay husband Marcus is so gay that he’s not even allowed in the family Christmas video. “Don’t forget the reason for the season,” sez Michele … which is marginalizing [...]
Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
Fox News Names White House Shooting Suspect ‘Occupy Shooter’
Remember yesterday when we were all making satirical jokes about how Fox News would call the angry bum arrested for allegedly shooting at the White House some symbol of the #OccupyWallStreet protests? Well, that happened. Today. The turnaround time for Satire-to-Actual Fox News Report has hit an all-time low of about ten hours.
Child Prodigy At DC Paper Bravely (Cautiously) Mentions Occupy Wall St.
Middle-aged yuppie child Ezra Klein is exactly the sort of youth welcomed at the dying Washington Post. Permanently cautious and nervously polite, quick to distance himself from ancient youthful indiscretion of a couple of years ago, inherently middle of the road and steeped in the meaningless bullshit policy/punditry circle jerk of the era, Klein can [...]
BBC Business News Guest Warns of Total World Economic Collapse
Via the Washington journalist Christopher Mims, here’s the most terrifying BBC video clip we’ve seen since those Daleks gobsmacked the Queen Mum. It’s worth watching the whole three minutes:
ATF Chief Who Funneled Illegal Arms To Mexico ‘Punished’ By Reassignment To Obama’s Justice Dept.
What happens when the nation’s chief of weapons enforcement is caught running an illegal weapons operation that funnels guns to Mexico’s murderous drug cartels? He gets reassigned to the Justice Department, hahaha: Reuters has this comical report: The head of the agency that oversaw a botched attempt to track arms flowing to drug cartels in [...]
Russia and Exxon Make Deal To Carve Up Arctic For Oil
It’s a good thing Russia isn’t full of Commie Rooskies anymore, and is instead ruled with an iron fist by a fascist kleptocracy — America’s biggest energy company just cut a deal with Russia’s state-run oil company to kill off the last polar bears and get the sweet, sweet crude under the rapidly melting ice [...]
VIDEO: Idiot Michele Bachmann Asks White People, ‘Who Likes White Wet People?’
Who likes white people? Uhh, everybody except for black people and brown people and yellow people, we guess? Also, many actual white people don’t much like white people, having read a history book or two. But Michele Bachmann is here to praise Jesus and His Own Special People, even though he was an Arab. UPDATE: [...]
Michele Bachmann Sucks a Footlong, Is President of Iowa
2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where hollow-eyed pillhead Michele Bachmann easily took the footlong patriotic corndog of freedom and also won the Iowa “Ames Straw Poll.” This is great news for America’s Comedy Industry, and sad news for any liberals who hoped Barack Obama might have to move a little to the [...]
Schmaltz Artist Pulls American Jesus Prints From ‘Liberal’ BYU Shop
Did you hear about liberal hate site “Groupon” sponsoring the racist Donald Trump’s racism? Groupon, you’re fired! What’s next? How about those liberals at the Mormon university? Yeah, how about them? A guy who makes prints of Jesus and the GOP Presidents and the Troops has pulled his precious artworks from the Mormon Church-owned Brigham [...]
Wingnut Mob Now Boycotting Superman, Because He Hates America
When even the nation’s beloved cartoon superheroes are saying “Eh, fuck this place and your loser god,” your country might be on the “wrong track.”
Clarence Thomas Gladly Reads Amoral Decision Against Innocent Black Guy Who Spent 14 Years On Death Row
Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia’s insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the opportunity to read the conservative majority’s decision against an innocent black man in New Orleans who [...]
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