Wonkette

Hey everybody, remember Jessica Cutler? No? Well, a long time ago there was this Senate staffer aide and she had sex — including sex in the butt! — with men who gave her money or other valuables in exchange for the sex. This was different from all other human relationships because she, Jessica Cutler, made a blog about this, five years ago, when blogs were kind of a new thing. So how is she obviously involved with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal? MORE »

Hey, remember back in the day four million years ago when a gal named Ana Marie Cox edited this humble publication, and she followed, outed, and interviewed a Hill aide who went by the name “Washingtonienne” and who had lots of anal sex and other kinds of sex that she wrote about on her blog called Washingtonienne? Yes, those were more innocent days when something as simple as a young heterosexual woman having sex with a variety of males could set the world on fire. Let’s take a trip down memory lane…a trip that ends on the Straight Talk Express! MORE »

A law student sent us this example of the thinnest veiling we’ve ever seen, from a Torts textbook (specifically Tort Law: Cases, Perspectives and Problems. 4th Edition. Galligan, Haddon, McClellan et al if you’re interested). It’s the story of “Jessica Butler,” her filthy sex with an aide to “Senator Foghorn,” and her salacious blog that detailed the whole seedy affair. MORE »

White Christian male media elites sure do love that beisbol. Too bad their sporty clothes don’t like them as James Carville’s skinny ass can make a t-shirt look like a poncho, and Tim Russert needs at least an hour in the make-up chair before he stops scaring small children. Oldest fart of them all Mort Kondracke was at the game too. So, you get those plus a couple of minor movie stars and one major, uh, general. Oh, and Jessica Cutler is bankrupt.

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* Heard on the Hill: Crazy astronut Lisa Nowak flew on the Discovery with a dude who’s now engaged to Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-Ariz.)… Rep. Julia Carson, from Indianapolis, congratulated the Colts for letting America know that her district is not “all drive-by shootings.” … Rep. Peter King’s cell ringer: “Hot in Herre” by Nelly. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Miss America… One of the lawsuits against Jessica Cutler was thrown out! The one in DC remains. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: MoveOn members target Jim Webb’s office in a phone-bombing campaign. To, uh, thank him for not supporting the war… Bill Maher still makin’ those jokes. Boy oh boy, is he ever… Joe Lieberman: “I’m the Lorax.” We think there are probably a couple other Dr Seuss characters he resembles more. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Ted Kennedy zinged John Boehner at a dinner… Dem staffers stole Rep. Paul Rhodes guitar from his office, brought it to the Dem retreat. Then Hodes and John Hall sang “Still the One.” … Jane Harman skipped the retreat because she hates Nancy Pelosi (j/k they are BFF!). [The Hill]

* Shooting at 6th and N NW. [Life in Mount Vernon Square/
* Jessica Cutler is maybe in a T-Mobile ad. [Read Express and DCist]
* E.L Doctorow read at the Folger on Friday night, local blogger calls him “gimmicky.” [A Portable Snack]
* Chris Matthews is the big shit on the block. [Fishbowl DC]
* According to LNS forums, there’s a secret club at 9th and N NW; “the convention center hood is the new black.” []

* Heard on the Hill: John Cornyn, John McCain record promos for weekly televised fascism-porn program 24… First 100 Hours of Democratic Regime started yesterday at 1-ish… Rep. David Wu stopped by security at Longworth. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: It’s remarkably hard to sue Ana Marie Cox. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Terry McAuliffe, Frank Luntz release books… Stupid congressional college football wacky betting shit… New member pins for 110th Congress are RED. [Examiner]
* Rush & Molloy: Some Repubs doubt Rudy Giuliani will actually run for president, because he might not want to stop making lots of money. [NYDN]

Legal scholars and D.C. perverts are very excited that the “Washington sex blog” lawsuit will actually go to trial. Hooray! MORE »

Spanking fetishist and former Jessica Cutler-fucker Robert Steinbuch just likes suing people. He likes it so much that he’s filed two suits against Cutler and asked to add Wonkette Emerita Ana Marie Cox to both. He briefly wanted to add your current Wonkette editors too (for calling him a spanking fetishist), but was eventually dissuaded. Unfortunately, Original Wonkette hasn’t gotten off so lightly, as a court document from yesterday shows: MORE »

• Seeking 175 ethnic friends to play parachute, wear AIDS ribbons. [Sarcastic and Cynical]

• Dear Lonny Baxter, “Dude, you might have not been playing in the NBA, but you would’ve been making a six figure salary overseas in Italy, not Kazakhstan or some shit. Boo-fucking-hoo.” [The Upstate Life]
• Pedestrians have the greatest rage of all. “What are you looking at, fuckers? Why don’t you get off your asses and try walking to work?” [Tiaras Optional]
• DC’s Trader Joe’s will open September 1st. As in NY, riots expected, Hawaiian shirts shredded. [Free Ride]
• The Hill starts tonight — guaranteed to make you nostalgic for Jessica Cutler. [DCist]