Tag: jesse jackson

Fine, Here Is Your Bernie Sanders On SNL Already. Are You People Happy Now?

As everyone knows, there are two objectives for any political candidate appearing on Saturday Night Live: Get your face on SNL, and do it without embarrassing yourself too badly. And don't even try to match the performance of Jesse...

Fox’s Katie Pavlich: Just Because I’m Scared Of Black People Doesn’t Make Me Racist

Poor Katie Pavlich is just sick and tired of all the racism out there, and on Fox's The Five Wednesday disagreed vehemently with the crazy notion that we all have prejudices. God knows she's not prejudiced, although sometimes she...

Jesse Jackson Shows Ted Cruz How ‘Green Eggs And Ham’ Should be Read

Last night, some weasel-faced Canadian read Green Eggs and Ham to the Senate. Here's a clip of Jesse Jackson giving the book justice on SNL after Theodore Geisel died in 1991. (It's not the full version, unfortunately; completists can...

You Finally Have A Chance To Get The Sexy Jesse Jackson Jr. Swag You’ve Always Dreamed Of

So you've got some coin in your pocket. It's jingle-jangle-jingling and you've been thinking "hey, I wish I could simultaneously celebrate a politician's fall from grace AND get some really outrageously bad fashion-y type stuff in the process." People...

You Will Definitely Believe How Racist This Daily Caller Article Is

We've seen a lot of racist nonsense in our time, but this contribution from the Daily Caller and Major General US Army Jerry Curry Retired Thank Goodness is truly special, a diamond-encrusted nuclear butt plug of are-you-even-serious-dude that makes...

Forget ‘White Hispanic’; Daily Caller, Fox, Find White Teen Who Is ‘Black’

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out...

Jesse Jackson Jr. Pleads Guilty To Purchasing Awesome Things

Today at Wonkette, we are thankful. We are thankful that we are not politicians and cannot get in the level of trouble Mr. Jesse Jackson Jr. got himself into, what with the getting arrested, having to resign his seat,...

Chicago’s Favorite Underage-Sexytime Congressman Wants Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Job Please

Yr. Wonkette was recently distressed to hear we'd be losing Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. because of first world brain problems (and maybe also because of that federal investigation?), but it's time to relax and breath a huge sigh of...

WND Journalism About Gay Obama’s Arranged Marriage To Lazy Michelle Not At All Racist

America’s most credible journalist, Jerome Corsi, has a new installment out in his series on how a young, homosexual Barack Obama got ahead in Chicago politics. This piece focuses on his arranged marriage to Michelle Obama, who, Corsi strongly...

Nobody’s Seen Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. For A Month, By The Way

Were you aware that Jesse Jackson, Jr., son of the famous Jesse Jackson that you all know from civil rights and such, is a Congressman, from Barack Obama and Rod Blagojevich's socialist Chicago paradise? He is! Did...

Jesse Jackson, Jr. Admits To Sexytime With Dolphin Model, Not To Huge Bribe

According to a "major political fund-raiser" who has talked to federal authorities, former fat guy Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. directed him to raise $6 million in campaign contributions to buy the Senate seat Rod Blagojevich was selling. Jackson denied...

Jesse Jackson Jr. Was That ‘Candidate #5’ Who Had Sex With Kristen, In Washington

Ha ha, sucks: "WASHINGTON — Federal authorities on Wednesday identified Democratic Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. of Illinois as the potential United States Senate candidate who was portrayed in court papers made public Tuesday as being the most deeply enmeshed...

Who Will Be The Next Barack Obama?

Our President-elect has mastered the art of time travel and can shoot laser beams from his nipples, but he hasn't figured out yet how to be in two places at the same time. ERGO, somebody must fill his senatorial...

Dan Rather Continues To Say Strange Things On Teevee!

Here's beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today's edition of MSNBC's Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson's influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we...

JESSE JACKSON IS A TRAITOR TO HIS RACE: While not-so-discreetly attacking Barack Obama, who also won South Carolina, Jesse Jackson said the most terrible word of all. The word is niggers

John McLaughlin Shouts About Some Fancy Biracial Snack Food

Apparently someone on Earth still watches The McLaughlin Group and thank god for that, because old coot host John McLaughlin tends to say some pretty funny things about this Barack Obama character. A couple of months ago he interrupted...