Wonkette

Here’s beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson’s influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we aren’t sure why arbitrary celebrity bums were picked off the street to host today. Point is, Dan Rather says he appreciates Jesse Jackson and that Jackson was importantly “paving the way for an Osama bin Laden to appear.” Our friends on the right would agree! We think he meant “Barack Osama bin Laden,” however. [YouTube]

JESSE JACKSON IS A TRAITOR TO HIS RACE: While not-so-discreetly attacking Barack Obama, who also won South Carolina, Jesse Jackson said the most terrible word of all. MORE »

Apparently someone on Earth still watches The McLaughlin Group and thank god for that, because old coot host John McLaughlin tends to say some pretty funny things about this Barack Obama character. A couple of months ago he interrupted Eleanor Clift’s Obama analysis and shouted “WARREN HARDING WAS A NEGRO,” which is true. While McLaughlin’s performance yesterday doesn’t quite match that, it’s still a fine piece of old coot theatrics: he rants that Obama is an “oreo,” meaning he wants to dip him in milk and eat him. And here’s a longer version in which you can view Peter Beinart’s slappy reaction. [YouTube, CNN]

So yeah, apparently the Hays code or whatever prevents you from saying “nuts” on the teevee unless you mean “crazy” or “consumable food items that come in shells.” So if you are Wolf Blitzer, you rattle on about the horrifying crudity of a particular phrase that Jesse Jackson uttered, and then you make all your guests kind of stumble around awkwardly about “things only a man would have,” so that Americans everywhere turn to each other and ask, “Is he talking about cum rags?” [236.com]

So Jesse Jackson asked Barack Obama to teabag him or something; we don’t know yet. Anyway, here’s a statement from Jesse Jackson Jr., a national co-chair of Barack Obama’s campaign as well Jesse Jackson’s terrible son:

“I’m deeply outraged and disappointed in Reverend Jackson’s reckless statements about Senator Barack Obama. His divisive and demeaning comments about the presumptive Democratic nominee — and I believe the next president of the United States — contradict his inspiring and courageous career. …Instead of tearing others down, Barack Obama wants to build the country up and bring people together so that we can move forward, together — as one nation. The remarks like those uttered on Fox by Reverend Jackson do not advance the campaign’s cause of building a more perfect Union.”

Racist. [WP/The Trail]

OK, we’re *starting* to get a basic idea of what Jesse Jackson said, to a hidden microphone, about Barack Obama today. Here’s his paraphrase in an interview with CNN (the actual footage will be shown in full on Fox News — of course — at 8 p.m. tonight): “That the senator was cutting off his, you know whats, with black people and black church.” Please leave your guesses for “you know whats” in the comments (as if you needed to be urged). We’re going to go with “hotcakes.” No: “flapjacks.” NO EVEN BETTER YET — “VAGINAS.” HE’S CUTTING OFF HIS VAG-ES WITH THE BLACKS.

UPDATE: Wonkette has consulted with its arsenal of overused jokes and determined that Jesse Jackson was referring to “Truck Nutz.”

UPDATE II: According to senior officials at the Pentagon and/or Langley re: Jesse Jackson: “big sale on truck nutz.” [Breitbart]

• JESSE JACKSON APOLOGIZES FOR MONSTROUS HIDEOUS RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE NATIVIST JEW REMARKS AGAINST OBAMA: Hey, small question: what were Jesse Jackson’s remarks? [Drudge Report]

Here is something Bill Clinton can’t do: Shut his fat mouth. Even as the Pennsylvania people are finally voting, the former president continues to make an ass of himself, make Hillary look terrible and basically bring shame to the Democrats and the entire nation. Guess what he’s talking about, again? How Barack Obama is like that Jesse Jackson, that’s what! MORE »

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WON A GRAMMY WHO WAS BLACK AND UNELECTABLE? Bill Clinton is sure to point out that Jesse Jackson won a Grammy back in the 1980s, too, and look how much he never got to be president! [1988 Grammy Awards]

Why is Obama focusing on smaller states when he’s SURGING in California polls? Because he’s probably going to lose it, since people have been voting there forever — including those days when some people liked Hillary Clinton. MORE »