Tag: jesse helms

Ted Cruz’s Teabag Oprah Fantasy: You Get A Jesse Helms, You Get A Jesse Helms, Everybody Gets A Jesse Helms!

If you are a major political party that needs to lash yourself to a lifeboat of minority voters before the demographic tides suck you down to the bottom of the ocean, maybe one easy step would be to stop...

Public Health Hero C. Everett Koop Once Again Puts Biology Above Politics, Dies

C. Everett Koop, the Surgeon General whose anti-abortion stance appeared to be a feather in the Religious Right's cap when Ronald Reagan appointed him in 1981, but whose subsequent career as a crusader for science-based policy turned out to...

AIDSies Finally Allowed To Fly All Over The Place

Great news, everyone: America is now .0000000001% less insane and bigoted! Barack Obama signed a final administrative repeal today of the Jesse Helms-authored travel and immigration ban on persons with HIV/AIDS. It only took 22 years for our government...

Washington Post’s Anne Kornblut Is Funny, Hot

It's time for our weekly feature about funny Washington Post reporters who also photograph well. (This is the first and last installment.) Meet Anne "E." Kornblut, WaPo national politics ace reporter. On that washingtonpost.com chat thing yesterday, she admitted...

Elizabeth Dole Wants To Name AIDS Relief Bill After Heroic AIDS Goblin Jesse Helms

Maybe Senator Elizabeth Dole teaches a community college English class on the side and wants to show her students a cartoonish, real-life example of "irony," because that's the only way to explain her current episode of retardation. She has...

N.C. State Employee Picks Retirement Over Lowering Flag For Dead Jesse Helms

Meet a brave American Hero: L.F. Eason III, the "29-year veteran of the state Department of Agriculture" who chose early retirement over the foul task of lowering the American Flag to half mast for the dead bigot Jesse Helms. Eason...

Huckabee: Obama Sucks Now Because He’s Not Jesse Helms

Mike Huckabee appeared on Hannity & Colmes last night to weigh in on Barack Obama's complete move to the center in the last few weeks. Now, we made up our minds about this slimeball Obama after Charles Krauthammer observantly...

Did Jesse Helms Die On the Unpatriotic THIRD of July?

As we all know, racist old colostomy bag Jesse Helms bravely died on the patriotic anti-gay July 4 day of American Independence ... or did he? Our sources in North Carolina say there's an insane nursing-home cover-up engineered by...

George Bush Heckled At Thomas Jefferson’s Slave Mansion

Hello everyone. How were your Fourth of July weeks? Well that's wonderful. The worst Fourth of July experience this year was probably that of Jesse Helms, who hilariously died. But important founding father Thomas Jefferson also died on the...

JESSE HELMS: AMERICAN GARBAGE Read your editor's obituary for Jesse Helms, and let's all laugh together.

Jesse Helms Finally Dead

We interrupt your Fourth of July with some Breaking News: Jesse Helms was apparently still alive, and now he's dead, hooray! He was a sour troll and a bigot, and it's a testament to every rotten thing about this...

Gossip Roundup: ‘Anti-Bush Behavior’

Gossip Roundup: ‘A Mouth Like Cheney’

Daily Briefing: Keep On Working