Son-in-law of a murderous Latin American Banana Republic dictator, husband to that dictator’s right-wing extremist daughter, possible page-fucker and all-around Republican congressman Jerry Weller is a man for our time. MORE »

We’ve heard now, from a number of equally credible (read: not particularly credible) sources, variations on the following three rumors about Representative Jerry Weller (R-IL). Because the last time we checked this nation was still a democracy, we are letting you, the people, vote on your favorite.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Polls close whenever we feel like it, or when we get sued.

According to the rumors on an Illinois blog, rumors on many other blogs have not yet been proven to be more than rumors, and the New York Times is having a hard time getting to the bottom of the story, etc. You know, the Jerry Weller story! MORE »

• Once democrats retake the congress, Bush will be headed to South America, after the impeachment. [FrontPage Magazine]

• Bill O’Reilly is so far in Bush’s head, he sees what the president sees, knows what he knows. [300 Dollar Wonder]
• Oh God! Yeah, God. Just like that, God. Don’t stop, God! [Boozhy]
• Curt Weldon emails his supporters to let them know the “left wing liberal attack machine” is much more dangerous than his Serbian warlord golfing buddies. [Hotline on Call]
• Weldon apparently not just blaming Democrats out of paranoid reflex, actually believes in a DOJ conspiracy to get him. [TPMMuckracker]
• Rick Santorum knows Pennsylvania loves killin’ terrorists. With just one shot, cause “two is pussy.” [Tristram Shandy]
• RNC uses fear mongering technique pioneered by LBJ in the ’60s. [The Swamp]
• Blogger who hates Jerry Weller says “The Rumor” about him isn’t true. Seeing as Weller is a GOP incumbent, that must just mean he’s done something much, much worse. [The Capitol Fax Blog]

There’s a whole lot of referencing of other websites referencing other websites and we still don’t have the allegedly gruesome details, so for now you can enjoy this press release from Weller’s house.gov site. Congressional pages, Dennis Hastert, Jerry Weller … what more do you want in a government web page?

But Jerry Weller losing his seat in the House is really the least of his worries right now. We’ll explain, after the jump.

MORE »

Here’s a story about Mark Foley with a perfectly standard, randomly chosen, completely innocent file photo of him. And some other guy. Some other guy who coincidentally happens to be Representative and fellow Pagefucker Jerry Weller! MORE »

The Illinois Republican (at right, with Kitty Harris) is married to the lovely Zury Ríos Montt (aka Zury Ríos Sosa, aka Zury Rios-Montt de Weller), daughter of the former military dictator of Guatemala. He’s also scheduled (per various rumor mills) to be outed as the newest subject of our beloved Cocktober Surprise. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Attorney for Robert Steinbuch threatens to add Ana Marie Cox as a co-defendant in his suit against Jessica Cutler. . . Murdoch will host a summer fundraiser for Hillary. . . Mort Kondracke marries Marguerite Sallee, the CEO of America’s Promise. . . Bush twins are spotted buying vintage clothes. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Michael Scanlon will be awarded his diploma from John Hopkins. . . Josh Bolten went to a Nationals game with Bo Derek. . . Woman spotted with Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) is confirmed to be his girlfriend. . . [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Fundraiser for Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) hosted by Mort Zuckerman features Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and former Sen. Al D’Amato (R-N.Y.). . . Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, Petra Nemcova, and Rep. Tom McMillen (D-Md.) showed up for the opening of The Collection at Chevy Chase. . . “Campaign chair” for Rep. Jerry Weller (R-Ill.) caught using a government-issued American Express card at a strip club. [The Hill]