Jerry Brown
Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News
Hi diddly ho, Wonkerinos! It has been awhile since we submerged ourselves in the crazy world of America’s most prominent and deadly fetish. Frankly, we were feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the stories of people accidentally blowing away their own toddlers while cleaning their shotguns, and then the useless dicks in Congress killed gun [...]
Jerry Brown Toilet-Talks Rick Perry: Your Anti-Cali Ad Is ‘Barely A Fart’
Rick Perry’s got a plan, y’all! An eeeevil plan, based on stealing all the businesses out of California and bringing them to Texas — because hell, you can do whatever you want in Texas! (Except have decent textbooks.) Rick is obviously aiming to be the Mexico-adjacent-Mexico inside the US for all of businesses everywhere — [...]
Larry Elder Tells Jerry Brown ‘I’m Not Kissing Your Butt,’ Teaches Us All About Debate
California Governor/Sam the Eagle impersonator Jerry Brown appeared the other day on conservative talker Larry Elder’s radio show, but wasn’t granted the easy treatment one would expect from a member of the liberal-loving media like…Larry Elder? As NewsBusters readers know all too well, Democratic elected officials across the fruited plain are used to softball interviews [...]
Get Well Soon, Jerry Brown!
ABC News reports that California Governor Jerry Brown is undergoing treatment for prostate cancer, OH NO! News of Governor Brown’s illness came courtesy of an ABC News alert right to our inbox (VIP Y’ALL), and was under stories about Chris Christie being fat, Hillary Clinton being too old in 2016 to run (your Wonkette is [...]
Job-Creating Californians to Be Beheaded With Taxes
Do you hear that, Californians? DO YOU? Because that’s the sound of jobs disappearing from California because our Job Creators will soon have to pay the nation’s highest marginal income taxes. They will pay the same capital gains tax as everyone else and lower property taxes than anyone in the country but still, WON’T SOMEONE [...]
Veepstakes! Romney Hero Meg Whitman Out-Bains Bain Capital, Slashes 27,000 Jobs At HP
Why can’t Californians have nice things? Because the “Golden Dream by the Sea” was all yeah eat me when HP CEO Meg Whitman tried to save it from itself the same way she has saved Hewlett Packard! What is it about “Creative Destruction” that California doesn’t understand? As typewriters and steel mills and Hewlett Packard [...]
Fox’s Dana Perino: California Gov. Jerry Brown Is A Dictator Because He Made A Youtube
Did you hear that California — the Golden Dream by the Sea — is having a wee little problem with its economy? What happened was a million years ago some proto-Grover Norquists made it impossible to ever raise taxes in the state, both by requiring a two-thirds supermajority in the Lege and by mandating that [...]
Corrections: Your Wonkette’s Week In Mistakes
In the story “Jerry Brown To Washington Times Reporter: ‘Are You a Moonie?’” we referred to idiot reporter Kerry Picket as him, he, his, etc. We are sorry to report that Kerry Picket is in fact a woman. This shames us all — all women, that is, as Picket’s tete-a-tete avec Governor Brown was the [...]
Racist Bake Sale Proves College Republicans Are Annoying
UC Berkeley College Republicans (newsflash: they have those!) want to make a serious point about how affirmative action is racist against white males, which they will accomplish by holding a bake sale that is racist against everyone else. Brilliant populism! The backdrop for this is a law proposed by California governor Jerry Brown that would [...]
California Gov. Jerry Brown’s ‘First Dog’ Euthanized Due To Budget Cuts
Here’s a stupid Los Angeles Times video of Governor Jerry Brown’s legless tribble-sausage dog running around the state capitol while most dogs in California are being “put to sleep” (along with education and infrastructure and state parks) because corporations won’t pay their fair share of taxes in California. Yayyy, animal videos!
Orange County Nazis Threaten To Kill Jerry Brown
Southern California Nazis or whatever have painted graffiti in the Orange County town of Santa Ana informing new (again) Governor Jerry Brown that they will kill him next month. One message says “We’re gonna kill Gov. Brown 2/14/11″ and the other says “26 more days 4 Brown” and has a swastika instead of, we guess, [...]
Meg Whitman Now Hoping To Piss Away $$$ By Losing To Feinstein
Remember Meg Whitman, the poor little rich girl who got savagely trounced when Jerry Brown came out of his meditative trance one day, late in the election year, and said, “Oh yeah, I used to be California’s governor. I will be that again,” and then he destroyed her? Do you also remember that Meg Whitman [...]
Liveblogging the Jerry Brown-Meg Whitman Heat-Wave Death Match
Should we liveblog the Jerry v. Meg death match? Well, we just held an election on Twitter and we won with 99.7% of the vote! So join us at 6PM California Death-Heat Time for the California Gov Debate, starring the Jedi monk Jerry Brown (of California’s famous 1970s) and that person whose face is on [...]
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