Tag Archives: Jerry Brown

  Won't somebody think of the younglings?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y’know, bullshit. We’ve got a full collection of stories to cover so let’s dive right in. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free…
  dumb and dumberer

Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines

California finally passed its vaccine bill, removing most religious and personal belief exemptions for vaccination in public schools (almost as if contagious diseases really don’t care if you don’t “believe” in them). Yay for California! But oh no, what is that sound off in the distance? It sounds like a slow leaking fart bursting through a pair of flannel stretch pants. In Canadian! Read more on Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines…
  Not A Rash Decision

California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands

Are your brains melting yet, Mommy? Are they? Now, about that pony...
Hey, how about some Science Nice Time? California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the state’s new vaccine requirement into law today, over the cries of “Government Oppression!” and “Big Pharma! Big Pharma! Big Pharma!” from anti-vaxxers. The bill eliminates exemptions for personal and religious beliefs, even though many Californians will be sad because their precious unvaccinated disease vectors will not be allowed to attend public schools. Read more on California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands…
  Conservation is for little people

Rich A-Holes Guzzling California’s Last Drops Of Water Because ‘We’re Not All Equal’

freedom is deader than this lawn
You may have heard that California is all out of water. Again. This is a thing that happens frequently — not because of abortion, or pagans, or Obama’s policies on Israel — but because the state is mostly a desert and does not make enough water to support California’s addiction to perfectly manicured lawns, swimming pools, and hydrated sidewalks. Gov. Jerry Brown has told Californians to stop wasting all the water, because seriously, people, there is no more left. But rich fucks, being rich fucks, don’t give a fuck. The state is not the boss of them, and they’ll waste all the water they want, because they are better than the rest of us: Read more on Rich A-Holes Guzzling California’s Last Drops Of Water Because ‘We’re Not All Equal’…
  What Does God Need With A Rain Gauge?

Wingnut Dennis Prager: Nature-Worshiping Pagans Stole California’s Water, Gave It To Fish

Stupid nymphs, takin' all our water!
Dennis Prager, the Family-Values radio talker who thinks children should go hungry because it builds character and that nudity is undermining American society, has more thoughts about Matters Spiritual and Material. Specifically, he has figured out why California has a “drought” — it has nothing to do with insufficient rain and snow, and is instead the result of nature-worshiping greenies. Like so many conspiracy theorists, they always end up blaming the Druids. Read more on Wingnut Dennis Prager: Nature-Worshiping Pagans Stole California’s Water, Gave It To Fish…
  A Modesto Proposal

Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water

To think that MS Paint doesn't include a stencil font...
California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a lawless executive order (they’re all lawless) imposing mandatory water restrictions on the oppressed people of the Golden State, which is pretty much what they asked for by being a bunch of Left Coast nanny staters. Read more on Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water…
  But what is he really trying to say?!?

Jerry Brown Will Drown All Your Children

Subtle!
Because it is exactly three weeks to Election Day, it is also the time for desperate candidates who are going to be very sad on Election Day night to whip out the Hail Mary ads because why not? Read more on Jerry Brown Will Drown All Your Children…
  Here have some news n stuff

This Guy Ranked All The Coen Brothers Films, But That’s Just Like His Opinion, Man

His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
It’s been 30 years since the Coen brothers released their first film, Blood Simple, so Christopher Orr at The Atlantic is re-watching and re-remebering all of them. And that’s cool, man, that’s cool. We’d even agree with him that this could easily be the best line from The Big Lebowski: “Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” Read more on This Guy Ranked All The Coen Brothers Films, But That’s Just Like His Opinion, Man…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
We’ve got mail! Or at least we’ve got people who want to leave comments, but who are not going to be admitted to the Commentariat because we don’t especially want them tromping around our parlor, especially not with what they’ve tracked in on their boots. Today, our sluicing out of the ol’ comments queue starts off with a couple of submissions from people who sorta kinda agree with something Yr Wonkette has published, but there’s just something about the comments that suggests we may not really want to invite these folks in, probably. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please…
  nice day for a red wedding

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Binge-Watching With MoDo Edition

Today’s Sunday Times is still full of basketball sportsball, with stories on both of those games. SPOILER ALERT: your bracket still sucks. SECOND SPOILER ALERT: the NCAA sucks and is nothing but an elaborate way to make money off kids it turns around and ensures can make no money off themselves at that stage in their lives, and also too the NCAA is an insanely locked down promotional machine. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Binge-Watching With MoDo Edition…
  dear stabby

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Painfully Obvious Advice Edition

Let’s start with the best Sunday New York Times news of all: Thomas Friedman has the week off. There’s also news about how there’s no news about the missing plane and a reminder that your March Madness bracket is a mess with Syracuse losing to Dayton. The Times also covers Fred Phelps’s death and reminds us that the virulent nonsense cause of his church — full time gaybashing — is a lost and dying cause, thank skygod. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Painfully Obvious Advice Edition…
  disrupt this

Annoying Rich Silicon Valley Techbro Dude Will Primary Mike Honda, ‘Disrupt’ Your Face

Can we just get this out of the way: techbro brodude tech guy bros are the worst of the worst. They’re always talking about how they’re going to “disrupt” things when really all they are doing is ordering lunch from Seamless or something. But they are at their very super duper exxxxtreme worst when they decide to take their thought leadering disruption making brains and run for office. Exhibit eleventy: “tech evangelist” Ro Khanna, who is primarying incumbent Democratic Representative Mike Honda in, of course, Silicon Valley. First, a little bit about Mike Honda. We are not tech-loving Valley dwellers, but from what we can ascertain, Mr. Honda looks to be a perfectly likeable and adequate Democrat who likes things like honoring Japanese-Americans who were incarcerated in World War II and providing affordable housing in Silicon Valley. You might think these are good things, and think to yourself “hey, I would vote for Mike Honda!” but that is because you do not have a big disruptive brain like Ro Khanna. Read more on Annoying Rich Silicon Valley Techbro Dude Will Primary Mike Honda, ‘Disrupt’ Your Face…
  don't bogart that joint my friend

Total Narc, California Governor, Jerry Brown Harshing All Our Mellow

We don’t know what the fuck happened to our old “cool” governor, Jerry Brown. First he is not even dating Linda Ronstadt anymore, so strike one. And then he was all “grrrrr, I am a grumpy senior citizen, ‘fiscally responsible’ adult person, so now the economy is yay again but I will still cut money for special needs babies and olds,” because they must be punished, we guess, for being special needs babies and olds. And now, worst of all, he is telling all of us not to get hiiiiiiiigh. Go fuck yourself, old man. You’re not even our real dad. Read more on Total Narc, California Governor, Jerry Brown Harshing All Our Mellow…
  governor moneybeam

Millionaire TARP-Bailout Bankster Would Like Chance To Lose To Jerry Brown

Only a former Goldman-Sachs executive who has never held elected office and supervised the bank bailout under George W. Bush would have the hubris to survey a landscape rife with inequality, a shrinking middle class, and a 21.5% high school drop-out rate and think, “gee, I am exactly what the state of California needs right now: a job-creator and a go-getter who has what it takes to fix education and help Poors!” Do you think we are joking? Wonkette does not tell “jokes.” From the L.A. Times:  Former U.S. Treasury official Neel Kashkari announced Tuesday that he is running for governor of California, staking his campaign on his ability to create jobs and improve public schools. […] Kashkari, who has never held elected office, ran the taxpayer-funded federal bank bailout under President George W. Bush and Obama and has worked as a fund manager, investment banker and engineer. He pointed to his work running the bailout, when politicians worked together to ward off financial disaster, as an example of what he hoped to accomplish in California. Read more on Millionaire TARP-Bailout Bankster Would Like Chance To Lose To Jerry Brown…
  the state of spaceship earth is strong

Jerry Brown Expert Ralph Nader Says Jerry Brown Totally Running For President Against Clinton (Again)

Never mind that he’s six years older than Ronald Reagan was when he was sworn in; Jerry Brown has some enthusiastic support for a presidential run. And, in the language of political vagueness, he hasn’t absolutely ruled out the possibility of running, although spokesman Jim Evans quoted a May answer that Brown gave to a similar question: “time is kind of running out on that.” “I guess I’ll just have to stay and do the work of being the governor, which I actually enjoy because I have some perspective that I didn’t used to have,” Brown said. Well, that was definitely not an absolute denial, so it looks like he’s running! Or like he’s not refusing to run! Or like some people (Ralph Nader) really really really hate Hillary Clinton, and would like him to yell at her like he did her husband, Bob! And he did not say “no”! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to December 2013, just 35 months till the next presidential election. Read more on Jerry Brown Expert Ralph Nader Says Jerry Brown Totally Running For President Against Clinton (Again)…
  bigger than the baha men reunion tour

Prop 8 Crew Getting The Band Back Together To Save California From Scourge Of Transgender Restrooms

Just in case anyone needs a handy illustration of Marx’s dictum that history repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce, we have this News McNugget: The National Organization for Marriage, which was one of the main groups behind the now-defunct Proposition 8, is teaming up with a coalition of other wingnuts to push a ballot initiative that would overturn the California’s law allowing people to use whatever restroom fits their preferred gender identity. You know, gotta protect the kids, and what better way to do so than another empty gesture? Read more on Prop 8 Crew Getting The Band Back Together To Save California From Scourge Of Transgender Restrooms…