Tag Archives: jerome corsi

  Irrefutable Proof Is Irrefutable

The Bible Proves Obama’s The Antichrist, Again

It's th' Pink Pony of the Apocalypse! Run for Your Lives!
Hope you enjoyed your Blood Moon this morning — it’s a sign of the Apocalypse! So is the fact that our morning bagel showed us a vision of Satan gnawing on the bones of the damned. But that could just say more about the quality of bagels available in Boise. Read more on The Bible Proves Obama’s The Antichrist, Again…
  paging donald trump

Wingnut Super-Lawyer Larry Klayman Wants Obama Deported Over Fake Birth Certificate

Larry Klayman sees you, usurper!
When last we heard from tousle-headed super-lawyer Larry Klayman, he was accepting a public censure from the Washington, D.C. Court of Appeals Board on Professional Responsibility. We were a little surprised that Litigious Larry wasn’t fighting harder, but he wanted to put the case behind him because he had “a lot of important things to do to also protect the American people.” Noble! And this week he unveiled the fruits of his unselfish labor in the form of a petition to deport from the United States one Barry Soetero. Or, as he’s known in popular culture, President Barack Hussein Obama. Read more on Wingnut Super-Lawyer Larry Klayman Wants Obama Deported Over Fake Birth Certificate…
  Serious Investigation Is Serious

Stupidest Man On Internet Declares Victory Over Liberal Media, Who Stopped Covering Ferguson Because Of Him

Go home, everyone.
The Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, is a resident of St. Louis, Missouri, which is why he calls himself “The Gateway Pundit” (for the longest time, we thought it was a reference to the brand of computer he used). And as a Local Expert, Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, has been a veritable font of misinformation and speculation about the shooting of Michael Brown and the subsequent demonstrations and police overreactions. And today, Jim Hoft personally took credit for a smashing final victory over the Liberal Media with this idiotic post: Read more on Stupidest Man On Internet Declares Victory Over Liberal Media, Who Stopped Covering Ferguson Because Of Him…
  it's just crazy enough to be true

Edward Snowden Gives Putin Super-Duper-Secret Info On President Obama’s DNA, Says Not-At-All-Crazy Birther

We know everyone within the Wonkette universe has complicated feels about floor wax/dessert topping Edward Snowden, but a new story about the Libertarian Man of Mystery has totally blown our minds, and now we don’t know what to think. If this newest claim being made about the documents he stole from the NSA turns out to be true, Edward Snowden may just turn out to be the greatest American hero since Nick Mancuso was offering his Corvette Stingray for barter. Seriously, it’s that big. Did we mention how big it is? Because holy crap, it’s big. Here is the big scoop: as part of his deal to leave Hong Kong, Snowden promised to turn over to Vladimir Putin the secret US intelligence file on President Obama’s DNA that proves Stanley Dunham was not Obama’s biological mother. We told you people! Read more on Edward Snowden Gives Putin Super-Duper-Secret Info On President Obama’s DNA, Says Not-At-All-Crazy Birther…
  more bunk than bunker

WND’s Jerome Corsi Gives Up On Obama’s Birth Certificate, Now Mistrusts Hitler’s Death Certificate

Wingnut’s wingnut Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has pretty much had it with this “Barack Obama Birth Certificate” nonsense. That is just SO 2008-2013. Now he’s onto a fresh new thing: Hitler. Oh sure, you may scoff — Hitler died nearly 70 years ago, after all! But “Hitler Escaped” stories are the little black dress of conspiracy theories — so basic, so simple, yet endlessly variable, and always timely. Let’s see how Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., fills out this sexy little number. Read more on WND’s Jerome Corsi Gives Up On Obama’s Birth Certificate, Now Mistrusts Hitler’s Death Certificate…
  smartest guy in the room

‘Unskewed Polls’ Guy Figures That Since Obama Is Gay, He’s Probably Not A Muslim

Our friends at Talking Points Memo think it’s news that Dean Chambers, the delusional data debaucher who gave the world “Unskewed Polls” to prove that Mitt Romney would win the election by eleventy-hundred electoral votes, is pretty sure that Barack Obama is a gay homosexual person who likes men. But this is not actually news! Dean Chambers, after all, was insisting back in May of this year that Obama was too busy with a cocaine-fueled gaysex orgy to save American heroes in Benghazi. Now, to be sure, Dean Chambers does have a new blog post “revealing” the Unbearable Gayness of Barack, but that’s not much of a surprise — the real surprise is that Chambers has done him some logic, and has decided to throw overboard a whole different Barack Obama Conspiracy Theory. If Obama’s gay, says Chambers, then he is probably not Muslim. This is pretty bold thinking for a wingnut, and we sincerely hope that Chambers does not suffer reprisals for his unorthodox views. He could very well be the target of a vicious wedgie attack. Read more on ‘Unskewed Polls’ Guy Figures That Since Obama Is Gay, He’s Probably Not A Muslim…
  Organic Free-Range Word Salad

Wackaloon Candidate For Nevada Governor Ready For Civil War, Obama To Kill Him

This somewhat unconventionally coifed gentleman is David Lory VanDerBeek, Nevada’s Constitution Party candidate for Governor in 2014. In addition to failing to win election to the U.S. Senate in 2012, he has posted several very long videos to YouTube, and we have watched two of them so you won’t have to (we kind of gave up at the prospect of watching his Sandy Hook Truther video, however). In the video above, he explains that Barack Obama is exactly like Hitler, which he proves by explaining that Hitler did a number of things to seize and consolidate power in Nazi Germany, and then showing how all the things that Barack Obama is going to do real soon are exactly like what Hitler did. The parallels are uncanny. He prays that we can avoid the coming second civil war, but he has a gun and a stiffy just in case. Read more on Wackaloon Candidate For Nevada Governor Ready For Civil War, Obama To Kill Him…
  and so it shall be written and so it shall be

Rick Santorum Joins John Rocker, Chuck Norris, Other Eminences, At Respectable Journal Of Conservative Thought ‘WND’

Rick Santorum wiped the smegma from the corner of his lips. (He didn’t get it all though, the crusty dried part was still there, but it would flake off eventually.) What was he going to do with himself, now that he, like Mitt Romney, was a sad loser whom nobody wanted around? Even his wife, Sheila or something, just kept looking at him and then walking out of the room. He usually found her leaned up against the washing machine. Sometimes she was crying. The children sat quietly, as they always did. He and Sheila or whatever had raised them right. They did not run around like hellions. They didn’t waste their brains on the boob tube. They just sat, in the darkened parlor, blinking their little rabbit eyes away from the few rays of filtered light. Rick Santorum needed to do something besides drink beer all morning; he could feel his body becoming a sluggish thing separate from his increasingly paranoid brain. Rick Santorum needed a job. Read more on Rick Santorum Joins John Rocker, Chuck Norris, Other Eminences, At Respectable Journal Of Conservative Thought ‘WND’…
  we do not think that word means what you think it means

WND: Journalists Should Be Executed In Honor Of Free Speech Week Because Supporting American President Is Treason

WingNutDaily editrix Jerome Corsi is still flying around on Ol’ Miffed Romney’s plane as a valued member of the press, but is he aware that his own columnist (a black man who is, er, the author of Negrophilia: From Slave Block to Pedestal – America’s Racial Obsession) is now calling for his death by firing squad as mandated in our cherished and inerrant Constitution what Jesus wrote? If anything, it just makes too much sense. Supporting the American president is treason, and Fifth Columnist Angela Lansbury stand-in Candy Crowley waved the Queen of Hearts at the foreign policy debate, so all reporters must die, because it is Free Speech Week. We are sorry if that sounds harsh, but freedom isn’t free or something, dudes. Read more on WND: Journalists Should Be Executed In Honor Of Free Speech Week Because Supporting American President Is Treason…
  chemtrails and flouridaters also too

Jerome ‘Obama Is A Queer Gay-Married Breitbart-Coroner-Murdering Muslin’ Corsi Flying Around On Mitt Romney’s Plane

And now news comes that the dean of White House Queer Muslin Murder ‘Spiracy Theories, Jerome Corsi of WND, is stone cold flying around on Mitt Romney’s plane, like a boss! So let us put on our OWN conspiracy caps (it is a crimson fez, duh), and ask the clear and obvious question: Who’d Jerome Corsi murder to get on Mitt Romney’s plane? Read more on Jerome ‘Obama Is A Queer Gay-Married Breitbart-Coroner-Murdering Muslin’ Corsi Flying Around On Mitt Romney’s Plane…
  the birthers are now the ringers

WND: Obama Gay Married Islam

It’s been nearly…oh, a few days, maybe, since there was an insane conspiracy theory about Barack Obama, so of course there’s another one! Barack Obama has a wedding ring, and unlike a normal American male, it is slightly fancy with squiggles and shit. Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has investigated the ring through blurry, pixelated pictures and also consulted noted Islamic ring expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”) who says without a doubt that the pictures of the ring are almost entirely certainly Islamic. Egyptian-born Islamic scholar Mark A. Gabriel, Ph.D., examined photographs of Obama’s ring at WND’s request and concluded that the first half of the Shahada is inscribed on it. “There can be no doubt that someone wearing the inscription ‘There is no god except Allah’ has a very close connection to Islamic beliefs, the Islamic religion and Islamic society to which this statement is so strongly attached,” Gabriel told WND. Below, the indisputable pictorial evidence that will convince you beyond a doubt that Obama’s ring…has squiggles on it? Read more on WND: Obama Gay Married Islam…
  that's not racial transcendence

WND Journalism About Gay Obama’s Arranged Marriage To Lazy Michelle Not At All Racist

America’s most credible journalist, Jerome Corsi, has a new installment out in his series on how a young, homosexual Barack Obama got ahead in Chicago politics. This piece focuses on his arranged marriage to Michelle Obama, who, Corsi strongly implies, is also black. For example, Michelle has been known to use secret black code language: [Jesse] Jackson’s daughter, Santita, is still one of Michelle’s best friends. Santita and Jesse Jr. call her “sis,” short for “sister.” There’s also the subject of her, um, work habits: Read more on WND Journalism About Gay Obama’s Arranged Marriage To Lazy Michelle Not At All Racist…
  We forgot to say "between the sheets!"

Psychic Wonkette Post Foresaw Hero Journalist Jerome Corsi’s Next Move: Gaybama!

What do we know about this “Barack Hussein Obama” person anyway? Beyond the obvious stuff, of course, like the fact that he is the son of Malcolm X, was a spy in Pakistan, and astrally projected to Mars, we mean. But how is it possible, in today’s modern media-saturated world of iPhones and 24-hour news and Interocitors, that we can know so little about the man who was (allegedly) elected president in 2008? Even now, as he seeks re-election, many people openly say he is an enigma. Thankfully, a small corps of hero citizen-journalists are determined to find out the details of this mystery-man’s life, especially his college years, because as we all know, youth is when all the truly scandalous stuff emerges, like how Richard Nixon was so besotted with Thelma Catherine “Pat” Ryan that he would drive her to and from dates with other men (science fact! look it up!), a youthful quirk that clearly prefigured the secret bombing campaign in Cambodia. As you may recall, Your Wonkette recently tackled the thorny question of young Barack Obama’s mysterious ring, which super-smart citizen-investigator Dr. Jerome Corsi, PhD, has pointed out, he wore even though he was not married!!! Rejecting the obvious explanation, which is that young Barry was simply so super-sexxxay that he needed something to hold the ladies at bay (or maybe he just liked wearing a ring, which is, we know, a stretch), we decided it might be amusing to play off Corsi’s nuttiness in a True Confessions first-person piece, from the perspective of Barry’s secret first wife, and then, for the lulz, to make it a secret first ghey wife, who he married in Pakistan during his spy mission. Loyal Wonketteers, we are pleased to announce that we are psychic. Read more on Psychic Wonkette Post Foresaw Hero Journalist Jerome Corsi’s Next Move: Gaybama!…
  epistolary romance

Dear Barack: WND Has Exposed Our Secret Marriage And I Can No Longer Stay Silent

My Dearest Barry-Bear: I know you told me we could never speak of our love. I know I signed that confidentiality agreement when you ran for the Senate, and, yes, I remember the Secret Service’s little “visits” to my luxurious penthouse apartment when you thought I might show up at the Inauguration. I know about the drones that follow me day and night. But I can no longer hold my tongue! (Remember how you used to like that?) WorldNet Daily KNOWS, baby. They are on to the truth at last, and I have to say that, difficult though I know the coming days are going to be for both of us, I for one feel a sense of relief. I won’t have to live this lie anymore, won’t have to live in denial about our secret gay marriage in Pakistan in 1988. You were so cute in your burqa, babe! But now, as I used to quip in a totally non-racist way when you had morning wood, “the jig is up”! WND’s Jerome Corsi has been asking some very inconvenient questions about all the many gaps in your supposed history, and now he wants to know why photographs show you wearing a ring on your wedding-ring finger before your 1992 sham marriage to Michelle (Hi, Michelle! No offense, darling, but you know your role in this little charade, and I think it’s high time we all start being Real, you know?) Read more on Dear Barack: WND Has Exposed Our Secret Marriage And I Can No Longer Stay Silent…
  pivotal moments in our country's history

Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo

A 1990 article in a hard-hitting publication called Vanity Fair either accidentally revealed a state secret: Obama spent some years in Singapore, not Indonesia, as a child! OR pooooossibly, but this is not very likely, an uninformed intern wrote an article about Obama and confused the countries of Indonesia (where Obama “spent” some time as a child) and Singapore (where he “did not spend” time as a child), because the intern only knows about America and everything else over there is a blur. The article stated that Obama was “raised in Singapore.” Later the magazine corrected this, saying, “We should have said Indonesia.” Genius scribe Jerome R. Corsi (pictured, releasing wind) has a theory about this: if lies sometimes are allowed to exist forever as no big deal because no one really notices or cares, maybe it means they are actually true. And because a typo is a form of lie, it can also be considered just a truth that is dying to get out. So, Obama once lived in Singapore and must now step down. Read more on Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo…
  the grand canyon state of nature

Let’s Classify This AZ Secretary of State’s Birther Email Demands As ‘Comedy Gold’

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett has been in hot pursuit of extra-double email verification from the Hawaii government of Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Bennett made a pledge to the state’s voters — no extra-double email verification, no Obama on the ballot. What’s the big deal, haters? He’s only seeking this unique extra verification because serious, trustworthy sages such as Jerome Corsi and Joe Arpaio and his 1,200 worst constituents told him it was necessary. It is his duty, to get the birth certificate. Again. For just Obama. It is not pandering, he promises. (Sadly for him, the only other explanation besides pandering would be that he’s a genuine warm-blooded idiot.) Now who wants to read his emails with Hawaii officials where he can’t offer them a valid statutory need for his request and so turns to whining instead? Oh, please let this play out for a while, please please please! Read more on Let’s Classify This AZ Secretary of State’s Birther Email Demands As ‘Comedy Gold’…
  john mccain will fix this

Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons

Your Wonkette is going to write a fun sentence and it is going to be true. Arizona’s Secretary of State has threatened not to put President of the United States of America Barack Obama on the ballot this fall because (a) he had a persuasive chit-chat with World Net Daily arch-grifter Jerome Corsi and (b) “he got more than 1,200 emails” demanding he look into the president’s birth certificate after Joe Arpaio’s “investigation” came out. This is the current power system in Arizona, folks. This is how things are done now. We’re tempted to declare the devolution complete and finally throw that big State of Nature parade in the blood-soaked hellscape streets of outer Phoenix, but maybe it’s too soon. They’ll do something dumber, eventually. They always do. Christ, Arizona. Stop hitting yourself. Read more on Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons…
  what the postman saw

GOTCHA! Mailman Met Foreign Student Barack Obama at Terrorist’s Mom’s House 25 Years Ago

GOTCHA, Barack NOoObamA! You know how on Law & Order they always manage to find a witness who says, “Yeah, I do remember a little somethin’ funny in that parking lot three Tuesday mornings ago. There was a tan Camry, plate started with 473A. It was in space 42, I remember, and I noticed the guy was staring at the docks and was holding a bloody dagger. Do you think that might be helpful?” and then the whole thing just opens up like a beautiful bloody-dagger-holding tulip. Those detectives are always so lucky! Well, sometimes such wonderful people with perfect recall (“eidetic memory”) show up in real life too, like this mailman, who has sworn to Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s “posse” of birthers looking into the worse-than-Watergate coverup about … you know … things, that he totally absolutely remembers meeting Barack Obama outside the home of the mother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, and the mother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers told this mailman that Bill Ayers was helping a “foreign student” with a funny name from either Indonesia or Kenya through Harvard? Then the mailman met Barack Obama, and totally remembers the young man he met the one time, because he was very polite and nicely dressed (sounds like our Bamz!) and he said, “My name is Barack Obama, remember it because I will be president of the United States some day, after I have denied having more than a passing acquaintance with the domestic terrorist son of the woman whose house we are standing outside.” Something like that. Noted investigative journalist Jerome Corsi explains! Read more on GOTCHA! Mailman Met Foreign Student Barack Obama at Terrorist’s Mom’s House 25 Years Ago…
  try not to scare the children with your satire stories

WND Suing Esquire For Using Terrible Irony Weapon Against Birthers

Who are the most victimized people on the planet? If you answered “the birther lunatics,” you would be correct. WorldNetDaily.com writer and birther book publisher Joseph Farah is suing Esquire for $120 million for publishing a parody post reporting that Farah finally decided the whole birther thing was probably just a hollow, exploitative attempt at monetizing the fears of stupid, racist people, and he would be recalling the Jerome Corsi book. Haha, that is ironic and totally implausible, because Joseph Farah loves money. But you know who doesn’t understand irony? Birther nutjobs! So they all freaked out and in their typical brainless fashion went and took the books off the shelves.  IT’S ON THE INTERNET IT MUST BE TRUE! It was a sad day for Joseph Farah’s bank account, because of irony.  Read more on WND Suing Esquire For Using Terrible Irony Weapon Against Birthers…
  nafta doesn't even want us anymore

Jerome Corsi Returns To North American Union Thing

Swiftboat birther nutsack Jerome Corsi is so confused by Obama becoming Republican Senate Majority Leader that there’s really nothing left to do but go back to the old “George W. Bush is making Mexico and Canada part of America by building an unfunded interstate highway in the Midwest” conspiracy. Corsi’s new WorldNetDaily column totally ignores the actual news about Obama — that this Krafty Kenyan has somehow become Ronald Reagan’s actual son/heir — and instead makes ample use of “quietly” and “below the radar” to tell the sinister story of how there’s some government report suggesting North America should better coordinate security considering the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD wants to blow up the United States and it’s relatively simple to get in through the Canadian or Mexican borders if the FBI and State Department forgot to send your chartered plane to Saudi Arabia or whatever. Read more on Jerome Corsi Returns To North American Union Thing…
  comforting predictability of the internet

It Is About Time Someone (Obviously Jerome Corsi) Linked The Ft. Hood Shooter To Obama

It has been let’s see, around 20 hours or something since the Ft. Hood massacre, so it was weird that someone who lives on the Internet hadn’t suggested a connection between Obama and alleged gunman Nidal Malik Hasan. So yes, quite sorry for the delay, but conspiracy theorist dilettante Jerome Corsi would like to do just that! So get this: last May, GWU held some vague security brainstorming transition task force thing that does not actually offer security or transition advice to the President. There’s a document and everything. That’s part A, of the theory. Parts B-Z? Read more on It Is About Time Someone (Obviously Jerome Corsi) Linked The Ft. Hood Shooter To Obama…
  kill him

MORONS IN THE NEWS: Webclown Jerome Corsi — the wingnut promoter of 9/11 conspiracies and North American Union Amero fantasies — went to Kenya to do some stunt with his dumb Obama book, and the crafty Africans put him in jail, the end. [AFP] Read more on …