jerks

CONFORMITY'S STALWART DEFENDER  12:09 pm May 10, 2012

Mitt Romney Is Sorry If He Hurt You When He Went Too Far

by Kaia Mursi

Mitt Romney is willing to put up with a lot of crap to get his hands on the presidency he (believes he) so richly deserves. The unfiltered contempt of his fellow conservatives, for example! The indignity of being colonoscopied on-air by specially selected wigs from the Fox News Collection. The dog-and-Missouri-Fox-Trotter show of election by [...]

ELECTION YEAR BETRAYALS  11:52 am February 10, 2012

Obama Screws Over America’s Women To Appease Religious Fanatic Men

by Wonkette Jr.

One thing about patriarchal religions of the ancient Middle East — like, say, “Sharia Law” or “American Catholicism” — is that the menfolk don’t like the womenfolk having any control of their own bodies or lives. That’s why there was a predictable outrage over the Obama Administration’s long-planned addition of basic family planning medicine to [...]

BAD MANNERS  5:15 pm November 15, 2011

Mean Jerk John Boehner Never Visited Injured Gabby Giffords

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

John Boehner probably broke down in sobs the last time he realized his spam filter was accidentally eating up all his favorite tanning salon offers from Groupon, but he sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to share a single one of his tears with Gabrielle Giffords while she recovered in Texas: [Giffords's husband] Mark Kelly [...]

STILL A DICK  1:58 pm July 28, 2008

Crippled War Vets Tell Cheney To Get Bent

by Ken Layne

Despised warmonger Dick Cheney continues to be an evil sack of shit who can’t even pretend to like war veterans. The hate-filled colostomy bag was scheduled to lecture a group of injured war veterans about how he evaded the draft through five deferments, but the veterans group finally told him to get fucked after he [...]

MAJOR ENDORSEMENTS  1:15 pm June 24, 2008

Bill Clinton Releases Important, Bland One-Sentence Endorsement Of Obama

by Jim Newell

Now that his wife isn’t running anymore, will Bill Clinton revert to being arguably the most popular Democratic official of the last half-century and, you know, help his party out a bit? Maybe hold a big public endorsement spectacle for Obama? Maybe later! He has finally indicated, however, that he will support the Democratic nominee [...]


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