Tag: jerbs

Please remain calm

BREAKING Wonkette Exclusive: As Of Now, Kaili Is In Control Here

This just in: Kaili Joy Gray has gone MAD with power and promoted herself to executive editor of Wonkette. (Yes, apparently that's something you can do. Who knew?) Bwahahahahahaha. What does this mean for you, dear readers? Pretty much nothing...

Wonkette’s Teen Korner For Teenz: ‘It’s The Thought That Counts’ Edition

Well, my dearest Wonketeers, Yr. Teen Kolumnist promised y'all that he would compose more literature on the art of volunteering, and by george, he's got it! (albeit a bit late, shut up, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU DON'T KNOW...

Wonkette’s Teen Korner For Teenz: Child Labor Edition

JERBS! I GOTS ONE! That is the summation of my excitement now that I am FREAKING HIRED TO WORK AT A FREAKING ICE CREAM STORE! AGSDFAFDSG!!!! Sorry, yr. Kid Zoom is just a mite bit elated THAT HE GOT A JOB...

Joe Walsh’s Children’s Long National Nightmare Is Over

Bitter defeated one-term congressman and Father of the Millennium Joe Walsh will finally be able to pay his child support again! Because someone is going to pay him whore diamonds to open his singularly mean mouth and vomit "thoughts"...

Obama Preparing ‘Jobs Plan’ To Give $961.04 To Each American

According to somebody who telephoned CNN, Barack Obama's jobs plan will involve somehow spending $300 billion because of tax cuts, and then people will have jobs again. No really this is what the article says. That's $961.04 for every...