Well, my dearest Wonketeers, Yr. Teen Kolumnist promised y’all that he would compose more literature on the art of volunteering, and by george, he’s got it! (albeit a bit late, shut up, YOU DON’T KNOW ME, YOU DON’T KNOW MY STRUGGLE) However, having talked about the whole broad damn thing last week, there is little […]

JERBS! I GOTS ONE! That is the summation of my excitement now that I am FREAKING HIRED TO WORK AT A FREAKING ICE CREAM STORE! AGSDFAFDSG!!!! Sorry, yr. Kid Zoom is just a mite bit elated THAT HE GOT A JOB AT THE BEST PLACE IN BOISE ok I am done now. He has, through […]

Bitter defeated one-term congressman and Father of the Millennium Joe Walsh will finally be able to pay his child support again! Because someone is going to pay him whore diamonds to open his singularly mean mouth and vomit “thoughts” and “ideas” and “accusations that his opponent wears ladies underwear” on our nation’s airwaves! HOORAY! Joe […]

According to somebody who telephoned CNN, Barack Obama’s jobs plan will involve somehow spending $300 billion because of tax cuts, and then people will have jobs again. No really this is what the article says. That’s $961.04 for every man, woman, transgender and child in America! Happy days are here again! Nine-hundred-and-sixty-one dollars! Enough for […]