Jennifer Granholm, a woman who will never be elected president of the United States because she is a Snow Mexican, may have to settle for the Supreme Court instead. Rumors have been FLYING about her getting appointed to the bench, and today they fly ever more vigorously because OMG she’s in town. Coincidentally, was she involved in all this hullabaloo about fuel emissions and efficiency standards perhaps because she is the governor of Michigan, the state where all the cars (used to) come from? Nope, the whole “cleaner, gentler auto industry” announcement is clearly a FEINT to get Granholm into a secret back room with Obama where they can talk about Constitutional philosophy. MORE »

Someone just sent us this comical article from an October, 2006 edition of the Anchorage Daily News — a reputable journal if ever there were! — about how Sarah Palin had a “scheduling conflict” during a gubernatorial debate with her two challengers and — instead of canceling her dumb conflict, because who cares — she tried to get her running mate to debate for her. Her two challengers wouldn’t agree to this because… just… just NO. What the hell? NO LADY NO. MORE »

Things haven’t gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama’s black vice presidency. You may recall that his “woes” include bangin’ his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about “Benz Chili Bowl” — and then firing a bunch of officials who found out about the affair, which he denied doing last summer until, of course, THE TEXTS CAME OUT. He also held sexy stripper parties at his mayoral mansion. So he’s the best mayor of Detroit since Eminem, and he’s under indictment for everything, and yesterday he basically vetoed his own ouster.

The city council is trying to get rid of this clown however it can.

It will likely follow the obvious path, which is that the council president, a monster named Shrek, says “WE GON REMOVE KWAME” to his friend Donkey, who is Eddie Murphy in Furry get-up, and then Monica Conyers is the evil purple dragon, the end. Wait, what? Oh, right: the city council can begin removal proceedings at the discretion of the council president, and probably will.

The council did, however, vote to request that Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm use her magical girl powers to remove Kilpatrick from office — a largely “symbolic” measure. But Kwame is a Man’s Man and does not like symbolism, which is why he VETOED THE MEASURE yesterday in hilariously tyrannical fashion:

But Bill Goodman, the council’s attorney, said Kilpatrick’s veto will have no impact on the proceedings that could lead to Kilpatrick’s ouster. That’s because only one person’s written request — in this case from council President Ken Cockrel Jr., acting on behalf of the council — is needed to begin the process, Goodman said.

Goodman called the mayor’s logic “lunacy” because the charter prohibits a mayoral veto on quasi-judicial actions.

Kilpatrick will likely respond that the charter says nothing about “Kwame-judicial actions.”

Mayor Kilpatrick vetoes removal effort [Detroit Free Press]

Yoiks! Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, the woman who could be president someday if she weren’t a secret Canadian, has undergone emergency surgery to remove “a bowel obstruction.” We don’t know much about bowel obstructions except that labrador retrievers get them when they eat pantyhose. The governor’s problem seems to stem from a 1993 car accident. But what will this mean for Michigan’s Democratic delegate mess? MORE »

We asked for your guesses as to the identity of this anonymous Democratic governor (as mentioned in this article from the Post):

Governors privately scoff at the slogan [?Together, America Can Do Better?]. They also say the message coming from congressional leaders has been too relentlessly negative. ?They want to coordinate. They want to collaborate. That’s all good,? said one Democratic governor who declined to be identified in order to talk candidly about a closed-door meeting. ?The question is: Coordinate or collaborate on what? People need to know not just what we’re against but what we’re for. That’s the kind of message the governors are interested in developing at the national level.?

So, which Democrat was playing the familiar game of carping about fellow Democrats? Your thoughts on this question, after the jump.

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