Remember when we posted that thing about an hour ago, about a CityFile report claiming Keith Olbermann missed his show for three nights because of some Rachel Maddow/Ben Affleck business? MSNBC just sent a DENIAL to your Wonkette, including a Prepared Statement from the teevee host. You will surely want to read it. MORE »

It’s time for the TeeVee Personality Newz here at Wonkette! In today’s first-and-only edition, Keith Olbermann acts like a jackass! According to New York’s CityFile, MSNBC’s “Wost Person in the World” stomped off the job for three nights because his pal and protege Rachel Maddow had movie star/Web traffic expert Ben Affleck booked for her April 16 show. But Olbermann decided Jennifer Garner’s husband needed to be on Olbermann’s April 16 show. When MSNBC executives refused to grant his wish, Keith stormed away and didn’t return to work until three shows later. MORE »

Every four years, America learns that young, attractive entertainers like Miss Jennifer Garner support the Democrats, while, uh, Bo Derek supports the Republicans. But this presidential campaign is so different! Why? Because there are now old, ugly entertainers supporting a Democrat. The photo evidence may shock you! MORE »

So you didn’t watch the Academy Awards last night. Well, that’s okay; with the help of this handy little guide, you can pretend that you did. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Tex.) charged with DUI. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Liberal bloggers fault Lieberman for honoring William F. Buckley Jr.. . . Frist was too busy to meet with 11-time NBA all-star Julius Erving. [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Dean, Mehlman in spat about who has “nerve.” [WT]
• Cindy Adams: Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Garner, Kirsten Dunst interested in film version of Kristin Gore’s novel, “Sammy’s Hill”. . . Hillary fills a Beverly Hills theater with supporters. [NYP]

• Names & Faces: Jordan’s King Abdullah II frequents the Georgetown Safeway. . . Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner skip out on Capitol Hill gala. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Kerry was eating at Cafe Milano when Bush was addressing the nation. [WT]
• Under the Dome: Hillary, Begala, Obama, Dodd, Safire among those set to roast Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) tonight. . . Rep. Collin Peterson (D-Minn.), Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.), Rep. Dave Weldon (R-Fla.), Rep. Jon Porter (R-Nev.), and Rep. Kenny Hulshof (R-Mo.) play Farm Aid. . . Rep. John Kline’s (R-Minn.) son leaves to serve in Iraq. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Dick Morris yells at fellow flyers: “Goddamn it! Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!” [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Patricia Arquette: “All the poor, all the working poor who live from paycheck to paycheck. . . I know Trent Lott’s gonna get a new house. But a lot of people aren’t.” [NYDN]