Tag Archives: jeff sessions

  hitlering from the bench

What Is This ‘Empathy’ Word, And Why Does It Make Barack Obama Hitler?

This is where we are with the Republican party right now: Barack Obama could appoint Ronald motherfucking Reagan and eight of his perfect clones to run the entire Supreme Court, and the right wing politicians and pundits would stand in firm opposition to this illegal Puerto Rican socialist community organizer Nazi faggot activist “Hollywood actor” and throw teabags at his grave. This nomination process is already hilarious, and we have several more months of it. Remember last week when Obama said he wanted “empathy” as a characteristic for his Supreme Court nominee, and how that word went over on the right, as soon as they dictionary.com’d it? They’re still going on about that, with two arguments: (1) even after dictionary.com-ing it, they still don’t know what it means and so it’s an evil liberal word, and (2) Hitler. Read more on What Is This ‘Empathy’ Word, And Why Does It Make Barack Obama Hitler?…
 

War Czar Hearings Going Much More Smoothly Than Wars

We’re trying to watch the War Czar’s confirmation hearing (since when do you confirm a czar?), but for the last fifteen or twenty minutes it’s been Hillary Clinton monologuing on Iraq, then saying “and I hope you’d agree, General.” Read more on War Czar Hearings Going Much More Smoothly Than Wars…
 

Iraq War Caused by Saddam Dissing USA

The Senate’s pro-SURGE forces brought some awesome new ideas to the debate on Friday, but none was as powerful as the new reason for the Iraq War provided by the honorable Jeff Sessions (R-Cracker) — we had to invade and occupy because Saddam Hussein kept sayin’ he won the 1991 Gulf War! Read more on Iraq War Caused by Saddam Dissing USA…
 

Daily Briefing: The Pentagon’s Gates

* The Iraq Study Group will release its heavily discussed platitudes this morning. [WP] * Senate will approve Robert Gates as Defense Secretary after only, “light probing.” [WP, NYT, LAT] * Hillary Clinton. Is running. For President. [WP] * Supreme court rules that illegal immigrants caught with illegal drugs can legally remain in the country. Fumar ’em if you got ’em.[NYT, LAT] * Jeff Sessions talks to dead people, and Dana Milbank likes to watch. [WP] * As the last day of school approaches, Congressional Republicans spitefully ignore appropriations bills. [WSJ] * Lobbying for the Democrats’ ambitious 100 Hours Agenda has already begun. [WP] * Republican House leaders shitcan the DC Voting Rights bill, again. [WP, NYT] * 110th Congress is scheduled to actually be at work 5 days a week, evidence that, “Democrats could care less about families.” [WP] Read more on Daily Briefing: The Pentagon’s Gates…
 

Daily Briefing: ‘The Lou Dobbs of the Senate’

FBI and Justice Department officials, including Alberto Gonzales, defend search of Rep. William Jefferson‘s (D-La.) office; Speaker Hastert talks to Bush. [WP, NYT, LAT] Gen. Michael Hayden wins over the Senate intelligence committee; full Senate could confirm his nomination to lead the CIA by Thursday. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT] Chertoff contends the U.S. is prepared for hurricane season but skepticism remains. [WP] Reaching a compromise over immigration will be a challenge for the House and Senate; Bush urged to apply his “full energy into the effort.” [WP, LAT] Veterans Affairs Department waited two weeks before alerting authorities about data loss. [NYT, USAT] Critics see recent spending bill for Iraq and Katrina “as a monumental example of earmarking taken to extremes.” [WP] Read more on Daily Briefing: ‘The Lou Dobbs of the Senate’…
 

Daily Briefing: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Senate approves fences and barriers for the southern border as well as restrictions for the guest-worker program. Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.): “Good fences make good neighbors. Fences don’t make bad neighbors.” [WP, NYT, WSJ] New details about Gen. Michael Hayden‘s “highly classified world” are “forcing lawmakers to reexamine a man many of them have known for years”; last-minute briefings to lawmakers on the Intelligence Committees “have smoothed what might have been a contentious path toward confirmation” and a declassified list shows select members were briefed 30 times on surveillance programs since 9/11. [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, USAT, WSJ] Tuesday’s election results may preview a “brewing unrest that could threaten incumbents of both parties in the November elections”; a “broader disaffection” is noted. [WP, NYT] Bush echoes past campaign themes in speech at RNC fundraiser: “We are the party of the future, and our candidates will be running against the party of the past — a party that offers no new ideas like the Republican Party, a party that can only offer opposition.” [NYT] Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) says Bush is not appropriately funding the National Guard order: “A lot are going to be sitting in cars that don’t run and planes that don’t take off.” [USAT] House ethics committee opens investigations of Reps. Robert Ney (R-Ohio), William Jefferson (D-La.), and Randy Cunningham (R-Calif.). [WP, NYT] Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and Northrop Grumman are bidding for a multibillion-dollar contract to provide border security. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?…
 

Arlen and Jeff’s Excellent Adventure: An Update

Last month we blogged about the holiday trip that Sens. Arlen Specter and Jeff Sessions took to Central and South America. Now, a postscript on their trip. First, we previously speculated that the staffer who accompanied the two senators was one of the many female hotties who work for Senator Sessions. Alas, this was not the case; the staffer in question is male (no word on his hotness). Read more on Arlen and Jeff’s Excellent Adventure: An Update…
 

Guessing Game Results: His Cheating Heart

Thanks for all your guesses in response to yesterday’s blind item about a southern Republican congressman who has found himself in a bit of trouble. We won’t pass on the correctness or incorrectness of your guesses; we’ll just pass them along, with minimal comment. Here was one of the better responses: Oh God, oh God, oh God! Please, please, please let it be Jeff Sessions! And please let his mistress be John Cornyn! Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. But it can’t be Jeff Sessions, since he’s a senator rather than a representative. Points for creativity, though! More guesses, after the jump. Read more on Guessing Game Results: His Cheating Heart…
 

Arlen and Jeff’s Excellent Adventure

From Al Kamen’s column in this morning’s Post: Sens. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) and Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) and a staffer… are spending part of the Passover/Easter holidays in a traditional setting. And what could be more traditional than the heart of the Amazon jungle — or in Brazil’s spectacular Ariau Amazon Towers, the most famous of Amazon resorts, a place where the treetop “Tarzan” suites can run $3,000 a night? Read more on Arlen and Jeff’s Excellent Adventure…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review

* In case you’re just returning from a long vacation at a secluded Caribbean hideaway, where you had no access to television, radio, newspapers, or the internet, here’s what you missed: Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man last weekend, then took his sweet time in telling the American people about it. (Wonkette’s full coverage is available here.) Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review…
 

Wonk’d: Celebrities Have To Eat, Too

Thanks for continuing to keep us well-stocked in the celebrity sightings department — and please keep them coming, by email (with “Wonk’d” somewhere in the subject line). Most of this week’s items involve celebrities and eating — either dining out at restaurants or shopping for food. After the jump, this week’s crop, including Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, looking hot; Cokie Roberts, shooting our correspondent a dirty look; Sen. Jeff Sessions, slumming it; and George Lucas, talking trash about Dick Cheney. Read more on Wonk’d: Celebrities Have To Eat, Too…
 

For the Record: A Few Fashion Notes

Fashion Week just ended back in New York. But here at Wonkette, it’s just getting started! Earlier today, our Capitol Fashion Police arrested Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, based on the ridiculous “hunting outfit” he wore when he went on MSNBC to talk about the Cheney hunting accident. We thought his costume was hideous; but now we learn it wasn’t even accurate. A reader advises: Read more on For the Record: A Few Fashion Notes…
 

Jeff Sessions: Hottest Staff On the Hill?

Ok, the, uh, proclivities of Jeff Sessions are almost too glaringly obvious to be true. Now comes word that Scarlotte Deupree, Miss Alabama 2002 and the first runner-up for Miss America 2003, has taken a job in the Senate Periodical Press Gallery. It Read more on Jeff Sessions: Hottest Staff On the Hill?…
 

Putting Stormie To Bed: A Final Post on the Scandal That Never Was

Yes, we know, you’re sick of reading about it. Well, we’re sick of writing about it! Hence this postscript to the whole saga of Stormie Janzen — the hot young Senate staffer whose sexy blog got shut down recently. We’ve followed Stormiegate fairly closely, even obsessively, and now we’d like to close the loop on it. We wouldn’t want to leave you in suspense over the fate of the vivacious young blogress who gave rise to this pseudo-scandal (emphasis on “pseudo”). To quote the Bard once again, “All’s well that ends well.” Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts offer this entertaining update in their Reliable Source column: Stormie Janzen, 34, did not return calls yesterday. [Sen. Jeff Sessions’s] spokesman Michael Brumas confirmed that Janzen still has a job: “We have dealt with this matter, and it’s closed.” Oh, come on! Hasn’t anyone called offering a book contract? “I have no idea,” Brumas said wearily. “I doubt it.” Okay. Has Playboy called? “Why are you asking me these questions?” he groaned. Well, because we’re always on the lookout for the next Washington sex mini-scandal. Granted, Janzen’s page at MySpace.com isn’t going to get her there. Those who saw it say her writing was pretty PG-13, nothing nearly as spicy as the famous “Washingtonienne” diary that caused Jessica Cutler to lose her congressional staff job but gain a book contract. Then again, she does have a great name… “If I can do it,” Cutler told us, “why not Stormie?” Here’s our take on the whole matter: At the end of the day, what a government employee does in her private life is nobody’s business but her own. As long as Stormie is doing her job, and doing it well, the fact that she maintains a somewhat racy blog about her personal life — or, say, a whimsically irreverent, completely non-substantive blog about federal judges — has no bearing whatsoever on her employment. Our polemic continues after the jump. Read more on Putting Stormie To Bed: A Final Post on the Scandal That Never Was…
 

Stormiegate: A Bit of Meta-Commentary

Here at Wonkette, we don’t permit reader comments (yet). Some things, like the Washington Post’s recent unpleasantness with comments, make us less enthusiastic about the idea. But sometimes we’re reminded of what we’re missing out on. Over at the AlabamaElections blog, which has also been covering Stormiegate, readers have been commenting up a storm. Here are some highlights: Anonymous: this is no surprise at all. have any of you ever had dealings with [Senator Sessions’s] staff? they are the most churlish, immature, pious, serf serving brats I have ever come across in government dealings. Anonymous: I believe her First Amendment Rights were pressured, and she had to cave in to maintain her job. Personally, I would have quit working for Jeff. In fact, I wouldn’t work for him to begin with! Additional vitriol and snark — all from anonymous commenters, of course — after the jump. Read more on Stormiegate: A Bit of Meta-Commentary…
 

Gossip Roundup: McCain in a Blink

* Reliable Source: After much anticipation — namely by Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts — Sen. John McCain made his cameo halfway through last night’s “24”. . . Scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions has been “dealt with” following post of “provocative photo” online. . . Jordan’s King Abdullah spotted at Georgetown Safeway. [WP] * Under the Dome: Brian Williams confused Sen. Barak Obama with Rep. Harold Ford during State of the Union broadcast. . . Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) hawks hardcover version of “The Constitution in Crisis” report with a introduction by Joe Wilson. . . Colin Powell sings “Happy Birthday” to opera singer. . . Liam Neeson and Holly Hunter play the Lincolns in Library of Congress production. [The Hill] * Inside the Beltway: Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.) is the longest-serving House member. [WT] Read more on Gossip Roundup: McCain in a Blink…