• JEFF SESSIONS CALLS THE OL’ RACIAL STATUE-OF-LIBERTY PLAY: We have no idea what that means. But here’s what Sen. Jeff Sessions told Miss Mex with regards to her vote in the damn Ricci case: “And, in fact, your vote was the key vote. Had you voted with Judge Cabranes, himself of — of — of Puerto Rican ancestry — had you voted with him, you — you — you could have changed that case.” Hey, not everyone has to be a race traitor, Sessions. [WP]

This is where we are with the Republican party right now: Barack Obama could appoint Ronald motherfucking Reagan and eight of his perfect clones to run the entire Supreme Court, and the right wing politicians and pundits would stand in firm opposition to this illegal Puerto Rican socialist community organizer Nazi faggot activist “Hollywood actor” and throw teabags at his grave. This nomination process is already hilarious, and we have several more months of it. Remember last week when Obama said he wanted “empathy” as a characteristic for his Supreme Court nominee, and how that word went over on the right, as soon as they dictionary.com’d it? They’re still going on about that, with two arguments: (1) even after dictionary.com-ing it, they still don’t know what it means and so it’s an evil liberal word, and (2) Hitler. MORE »

We’re trying to watch the War Czar’s confirmation hearing (since when do you confirm a czar?), but for the last fifteen or twenty minutes it’s been Hillary Clinton monologuing on Iraq, then saying “and I hope you’d agree, General.” MORE »

The Senate’s pro-SURGE forces brought some awesome new ideas to the debate on Friday, but none was as powerful as the new reason for the Iraq War provided by the honorable Jeff Sessions (R-Cracker) — we had to invade and occupy because Saddam Hussein kept sayin’ he won the 1991 Gulf War!

* The Iraq Study Group will release its heavily discussed platitudes this morning. [WP]
* Senate will approve Robert Gates as Defense Secretary after only, “light probing.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Hillary Clinton. Is running. For President. [WP]
* Supreme court rules that illegal immigrants caught with illegal drugs can legally remain in the country. Fumar ‘em if you got ‘em.[NYT, LAT]
* Jeff Sessions talks to dead people, and Dana Milbank likes to watch. [WP]
* As the last day of school approaches, Congressional Republicans spitefully ignore appropriations bills. [WSJ]
* Lobbying for the Democrats’ ambitious 100 Hours Agenda has already begun. [WP]
* Republican House leaders shitcan the DC Voting Rights bill, again. [WP, NYT]
* 110th Congress is scheduled to actually be at work 5 days a week, evidence that, “Democrats could care less about families.” [WP]

• FBI and Justice Department officials, including Alberto Gonzales, defend search of Rep. William Jefferson’s (D-La.) office; Speaker Hastert talks to Bush. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Gen. Michael Hayden wins over the Senate intelligence committee; full Senate could confirm his nomination to lead the CIA by Thursday. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
• Chertoff contends the U.S. is prepared for hurricane season but skepticism remains. [WP]
• Reaching a compromise over immigration will be a challenge for the House and Senate; Bush urged to apply his “full energy into the effort.” [WP, LAT]
• Veterans Affairs Department waited two weeks before alerting authorities about data loss. [NYT, USAT]
• Critics see recent spending bill for Iraq and Katrina “as a monumental example of earmarking taken to extremes.” [WP]

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• Senate approves fences and barriers for the southern border as well as restrictions for the guest-worker program. Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.): “Good fences make good neighbors. Fences don’t make bad neighbors.” [WP, NYT, WSJ]
• New details about Gen. Michael Hayden’s “highly classified world” are “forcing lawmakers to reexamine a man many of them have known for years”; last-minute briefings to lawmakers on the Intelligence Committees “have smoothed what might have been a contentious path toward confirmation” and a declassified list shows select members were briefed 30 times on surveillance programs since 9/11. [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, USAT, WSJ]
• Tuesday’s election results may preview a “brewing unrest that could threaten incumbents of both parties in the November elections”; a “broader disaffection” is noted. [WP, NYT]
• Bush echoes past campaign themes in speech at RNC fundraiser: “We are the party of the future, and our candidates will be running against the party of the past — a party that offers no new ideas like the Republican Party, a party that can only offer opposition.” [NYT]
• Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) says Bush is not appropriately funding the National Guard order: “A lot are going to be sitting in cars that don’t run and planes that don’t take off.” [USAT]
• House ethics committee opens investigations of Reps. Robert Ney (R-Ohio), William Jefferson (D-La.), and Randy Cunningham (R-Calif.). [WP, NYT]
• Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and Northrop Grumman are bidding for a multibillion-dollar contract to provide border security. [NYT]

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Last month we blogged about the holiday trip that Sens. Arlen Specter and Jeff Sessions took to Central and South America. Now, a postscript on their trip. MORE »

Thanks for all your guesses in response to yesterday’s blind item about a southern Republican congressman who has found himself in a bit of trouble. We won’t pass on the correctness or incorrectness of your guesses; we’ll just pass them along, with minimal comment.

Here was one of the better responses:

Oh God, oh God, oh God! Please, please, please let it be Jeff Sessions! And please let his mistress be John Cornyn!

Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. But it can’t be Jeff Sessions, since he’s a senator rather than a representative. Points for creativity, though!

More guesses, after the jump.

MORE »

From Al Kamen’s column in this morning’s Post: MORE »

* In case you’re just returning from a long vacation at a secluded Caribbean hideaway, where you had no access to television, radio, newspapers, or the internet, here’s what you missed: Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man last weekend, then took his sweet time in telling the American people about it. (Wonkette’s full coverage is available here.) MORE »