jeff sessions

Jon Stewart called out Republicans’ schizoid thinking on priorities Thursday, skewering their relentless eagerness to fund military adventures anywhere in the world while refusing to “waste” any funds on the American people. When it comes to pouring money into a war, Stewart says, you never hear Republicans worrying about creating dependency: Basically, when we give […]

Oh noes! The nation’s top Law Enforcement Officer made a joke about weed! Doesn’t he know that pot kills and that it is NO LAUGHING MATTER? What is our once-great nation even coming to when the FBI Director can say something as horrible and shocking as the thing that was said in a hearing by […]

Exclusive Drudge Sirens Must Credit Wonkette: So here is Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions mansplaining the President’s budget to the President’s Budget Director, OMB chief Sylvia Matthews Burwell. He is very very unhappy that the budget request includes an additional $56 billion over the compromise agreement passed back in December. Despite Sessions’s indignant tone, it’s not […]

Ok, Glorious Readers, you totally owe us like a gazzilion dollars in donations of monies and/or booze. Because we spent all yesterday afternoon and part of the evening listening to the nasaly, whiny, pompous ass monkey from Texi-Canada, Ted Cruz, mount a fake filibuster about Obamacare. IT. WAS. TEH. WORST. There were several times when […]

The Daily Caller has an uncharacteristically non-shitty (we mean, it’s not totally non-shitty, but it definitely downplays the shittiness) story about the number of children who are getting government food assistance. That number is more than one in four, which is a lot of families who otherwise might not have food on them! Reporter Caroline […]

The Wall Street Journal is shaking its cane regarding Congress’s unseemly refusal to reform food stamps. Why are Democrats uniting to stop hero Senator Jeff Sessions’ teeny-tiny $20 billion snip to the program? After all, going on the dole used to be shameful, and now food stamps go to people even if they live in […]

Yesterday Sen. Al Franken drew “the portrait blogged around the world” when he pencilled a little sketch of Alabama Senator/Grand Wizard Jeff Sessions during the Elena Kagan confirmation hearing. (He also napped, but you can’t auction that off at Sotheby’s.) Everybody seems to agree that Franken has mad drawing skills. Where on earth did they […]

Who is this vile, lisping piglet known as the “top ranking Republican” on the Senate Judiciary Committee calling everybody and everything (mostly Elena Kagan) Communist and Anti-American? Why it’s Alabama heartthrob Jeff Sessions, the Reagan-era U.S. attorney in Mobile who, when nominated by the Gipper to be U.S. District Court judge in southern Alabama, was […]

Are we really going to do this? Elena Kagan just walked in, hugged and kissed some ladies (?!) and some men (?!) and now Patrick Leahy is introducing everybody and explaining what’s happening. What is happening? Well, Senator Byrd died! Everybody’s so sad. Everybody’s so sad that it’s going to be impossible to really pay […]

Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX) is in the most trouble ever regarding an unconscionably melodramatic email he wrote to his friend, Ponzi scheme person Allen Stanford. “I love you and I believe in you,” is what Sessions told Allen, who had at that point just been arrested for $7 billion worth of fraud. Now, someone please […]

TRUE FACTS  2:49 pm July 14, 2009

by Jim Newell

JEFF SESSIONS CALLS THE OL’ RACIAL STATUE-OF-LIBERTY PLAY: We have no idea what that means. But here’s what Sen. Jeff Sessions told Miss Mex with regards to her vote in the damn Ricci case: “And, in fact, your vote was the key vote. Had you voted with Judge Cabranes, himself of — of — of […]

This is where we are with the Republican party right now: Barack Obama could appoint Ronald motherfucking Reagan and eight of his perfect clones to run the entire Supreme Court, and the right wing politicians and pundits would stand in firm opposition to this illegal Puerto Rican socialist community organizer Nazi faggot activist “Hollywood actor” […]