Tag Archives: jeff greene

  sue everybody

Jeff Greene Can’t Win a Primary But Maybe He Can Sue the Newspapers

Celebrity millionaire playboy Jeff Greene had only one goal last week, and that was to win his primary in Florida so he could be the “Democratic candidate” to run against Charlie Crist and Marco Rubio, for comedy. But he lost because the press — the evil press! — painted him as a sleazy celebrity millionaire playboy who profited off the housing collapse! And now the media will be destroyed. The New York Times reports: Read more on Jeff Greene Can’t Win a Primary But Maybe He Can Sue the Newspapers…
  primary time again!

Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!

Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don’t kill yourselves because these “couple of primary/runoff things somewhere” do not exactly leave the nation or even the Wonkette Readership spellbound. And then of course nobody showed up to liveblog at all, because it takes very little to discourage America’s generation of underemployed English graduates. So join us for a few hours of very leisurely liveblogging as results trickle in like fat drops of Ambien-laden urine trickling down John McCain’s slacks. Read more on Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!…
  georgetown basketball greats

Old Jews Will Make Billionaire Jeff Greene Your New Florida Senator

Florida Democratic Senate candidate Jeff Greene has landed himself a lengthy profile in the scummy Weigel-less Washington Post today. Who is Jeff Greene? He is not, as far as we can tell, related to Alvin Greene. But he’s best friends with Mike Tyson, he’s sworn enemies with Ron Howard, and he has a good shot at winning the Democratic nominate for U.S. Senate in Florida because the old Jewish retirees have too much time on their hands to just elect a competent and black Congressman like Kendrick Meek. Read more on Old Jews Will Make Billionaire Jeff Greene Your New Florida Senator…
  and marco rubio has his own foreclosure!

Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit

America’s favorite recently-married orange Floridian, Governor Charlie Crist, had to quit the Republican Party because the teabaggers didn’t want him to be the new U.S. senator. Why do teabaggers hate Republicans so much? Doesn’t matter! Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate, while dumb wingnut Marco Rubio is currently 11 points down and Democrat Rep. Kendrick Meek has dropped way down to third place but is at least ahead of gross gazillionaire Jeff Greene — the Democratic nomination won’t be settled until August 24, and Greene may well buy the race for himself, and then he can celebrate with his special friends Heidi Fleiss and Mike Tyson (both of whom are on Florida’s currency and/or license plate.) Read more on Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit…
  america's tackiest state

Florida Update: Democrats Now Have Permission To Vote For Charlie Crist

Popular moderate orange-skinned married-to-a-lady-now Republican Governor Charlie Crist was knocked out of the Florida GOP Senate primary by angry teabaggers and their angry Tea Party candidate Marco Rubio, and now the “independent” Crist is looking pretty good to Democrats. Why? Well mostly because some insane rich slob has bought his way onto the Democratic ticket, and the guy is really gross and weird — even for Florida. Read more on Florida Update: Democrats Now Have Permission To Vote For Charlie Crist…
  meet your candidates

Strange Market-Shorting Billionaire Monster Would Also Like To Be Florida’s Senator

Just as the months-long war between Charlie Crist and Marco Rubio is ending and a three-way battle along with Democratic Rep. Kendrick Meek is finally ready to take the political spotlight in Florida, some nutter ex-Republican billionaire who made his fortune betting against the housing market has decided that he would like to purchase the Democratic nomination after all, to screw up everything. Who is this slurring tropical money dragon, this Jeff Greene, who wants to spend all of his economy-destroying fortune on Florida’s junior Senate seat? And why is he so gay for Mike Tyson, anyway? Read more on Strange Market-Shorting Billionaire Monster Would Also Like To Be Florida’s Senator…