• Wolf Blitzer exposes SNL with his award-winning muckraking journalism. [Hot Air]
• Hundreds of fake doctors (including Jeff Gannon) were forced to wear lab coats and say flattering things about socialized medicine. [Michelle Malkin]
• Michele Bachmann does not know anything about MSNBC. She doesn’t know how to spell MSNBC and she doesn’t want to know. She doesn’t know what MSNBC stands for, or if it stands for anything at all. Maybe it’s Spanish. She just doesn’t know. [TPM]
• Guess who wants to stick his public option in your pooper? You know who. [RedState]
• Barack Obama is the the world’s most popular dictator. [Think Progress]

It turns out that your Jake Tappers and Chuck Todds are in the minority when it comes to White House correspondents. Upwards of 98 percent of the people attending the White House’s daily press briefings are nutballs who don’t even write for news organizations and love to steal Politico’s chair. These insane people just like to hang out there, because it feels like “family” or “home” to them, spending hours in this cramped, low-ceilinged little bunker with Helen Thomas. MORE »

America is ready for Change, and nothing could be more different from the Bush Era than good old-fashioned boy-meets-girl White House gossip. That’s why the hot Jon Favreau-Ali Campoverdi rumors are healing America’s butt-hurt psyche. Can a simple “Obama speechwriter dude hooks up with Obama staffer who also was photographed in her panties, for Maxim” story finally cure America from the awful mental image of whatever senior Bush Administration middle-aged white guy repeatedly fucking some fat gay hooker from a “conservative news website”? Christ we hope so. [Gawker]

Aside from old ladies and Bitters, Hillary’s strongest constituency this election has been The Gays, who ironically are just the estranged children of old ladies and Bitters. But now Washington’s own gay Blade newspaper — which had already endorsed Hillary and is home to such famous local homosexual journalists as “Jeff Gannon” — is telling Hillz to leave. MORE »

Ahh, Jeff Gannon. Despite being outed as a gay escort and a shlll who asked fake questions for the Adminstration, he still apparently has a career in something other than “fucking-for-money.” He also has a blog. What Jeff Gannon lacks, however, is a sense of irony.

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* We’re glad to know that Hillary gives someone a boner. [Wizbang] MORE »

Former manwhore turned journalist turned blogger Jeff Gannon’s sketchy old employers claim that Jeff Gannon will claim that Karl Rove is a gay homosexual who has sex with other gay homosexual men, just like his adoptive father, whose penis you can see on the internet if you’re into that sort of thing. MORE »

There’s a great new (or old?) association in town, and it’s very unpopular. The International Bible Reading Association held a big event at the Capitol yesterday, if by “big event” you mean “600 chairs were set up, and a total of 37 people sat down, and most of those were tourists eating their lunch, and Jeff Gannon is the spokesman.” MORE »

The golden era of ABC News’ The Note is finally over. Mark Halperin is leaving his post as chief defender of the Bush Administration ABC’s “political director” so he can write more books that he’ll personally beg you to buy. MORE »

Back when he was “Jeff Gannon” and only the Bush Administration senior officials who let him stay overnight at the White House knew he was a gay prostitute, mysterious GOP agent James Guckert was also playing a subtle blatant role in the smear campaign against Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame.

Nobody read “Talon News” — the propaganda website that supposedly employed Gannon/Guckert as a White House correspondent — so Gannon/Guckert’s anti-Wilson articles hardly influenced anyone. Fox News and Bob Novak could reach millions of people with that same White House marketing! Where Gannon/Guckert proved useful was, as always, in the televised press briefings with Scott McClellan and even Bush himself.

Come see the creepy evidence, after the jump.

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Nearly every sighting this week comes from the exact same place, several at the exact same time. Wonkette operatives didn’t even need to use their sharp eyes to spot these old men in a barrel. Apparently, Bistro Bis is the be-seen restaurant du jour. Or maybe it was all along — the closest we come to a power lunch is eating a burrito really fast. But John Kerry, John Bolton, Jon Tester , Jim Lehrer, and Steve Kroft have more discriminating palates. You get all of them, and one Senator too busy working on his abs to respect his elders, by indulging your Mecury-in-retrograde-moon-is-in-the-seventh-house fantasies on the other side of the worm hole.

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