Tag Archives: jebus

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments of the Week: We Need To Worry About Guns Because ‘White Is Almost A Minority’

To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You'd just replace it with Comic Sans.
Another Saturday, another trip to the comments queue! We never know what sort of detritus we’re going to fish out, but we can always guarantee that it would benefit from a few passes with a high-pressure steam hose. This week, we don’t seem to have any overwhelming theme, just a mixed grab bag of stupid. Read more on Deleted Comments of the Week: We Need To Worry About Guns Because ‘White Is Almost A Minority’…
  and when you pray do not be like the hypocrites

Thank God This Arizona Republican Was There To Redo Invocation Ruined By Filthy Atheist Secular Humanist, Gross

Yesterday, we had a bit of a warm feeling where we’re told our heart should be when a Godless Arizona Democrat used his turn to give the legislature’s invocation to invite his fellow lawmakers to look around and see their common humanity, their fellowship, that whether they agreed on certain issues or not, they were all here at this moment in time to help better society for Arizona and mankind. HAW HAW HAW DUMMY. Well, by the end of the day, a Republican senator had “redone” the invocation cause it wasn’t to Jebus and didn’t count. Not only that, but when Rep. Steve Smith invited his fellows to redo the prayer with him, it was in “repentance” for having mocked God by not praying in the way commanded by Rep. Steve Smith. Hooboy. Sorry Dok. Read more on Thank God This Arizona Republican Was There To Redo Invocation Ruined By Filthy Atheist Secular Humanist, Gross…
  thou shalt not publish thy editor's wife

Washington Post’s Sally Quinn Does Magick, Knows God Loves Mitt Romney

Vapid publisher’s spouse and party-planning expert Sally Quinn has heaved up another of her insightful “On Faith” columns. This is a person who has in the past used her column to explore the spiritual dilemmas involved in choosing a Dancing With the Stars victor; explaining that 50 Shades of Grey actually reflects a “religious phenomenon” (holy fuck!); oh, and by the way, no big deal, told a panel this week that she is a witch (we can hardly wait to see what the Maine GOP thinks of that!). So we were not expecting Deep Thought; but this time she’s gone especially shallow: When Mitt Romney mentioned the “Creator” in the debate Wednesday, he owned it. “We’re all children of the same God,” he said. That’s about 85 percent of the country he was talking to. That should have been President Obama’s constituency but he let Romney have it as he let Romney have the debate. We were not aware that it was actually possible to call dibs on The Almighty, but Mitt apparently did indeed own that round, and Obama compounded his error by missing the chance to call “shotgun.” Read more on Washington Post’s Sally Quinn Does Magick, Knows God Loves Mitt Romney…
  kill all the animals

Why Is Allah Killing Us With His Wild Beasts?

When a captive killer whale went nuts and killed its trainer at the Sea World a few months back, theologians from the American Family Association noted that this tragedy occurred because the aquatic-attractions horror park failed to murder the Orca after it killed its first victim, as the Old Testament instructed. Maybe? Or maybe don’t seize 12,000-pound predators from the sea and put them in a swimming pool surrounded by bleachers filled with screeching fat children and then expect the marine monsters to routinely dance in a crazy way to the hip-hop or whatever; we are not theologians we can’t say for sure. But now, the same AFA nutball is back with more Old Testament wildlife-management advice. That guy killed by an angry Grizzly Bear at Yellowstone? Yep, it’s all because of not following ancient religious scrolls. Read more on Why Is Allah Killing Us With His Wild Beasts?…
  your father's old and damned yeah

Maverick McCain Won’t Sit In Jesus’ Silence Cone

We sort of already mentioned this, but apparently not enough, as every single email tip to Wonkette today is about the Invincible Cone of Silence and how John McCain was in his “straight talk” limo watching porn instead of humbly contemplating the Terrible Mystery of Jebus within Rick Warren’s meth-massage Silence Cone. But how is this Barack Obama’s fault? Read more on Maverick McCain Won’t Sit In Jesus’ Silence Cone…
  christblogging

Liveblogging Some McCain-Obama Church Chat

Oh good gravy there is a special election event at the world-famous giant suburban church somewhere. Let us pray about our purpose-driven liveblogging, which could happen, IF THE LORD WILZ IT. Oh it’s starting maybe, let’s find out if it’s on teevee, and who will be president of 22,000 bored people in “Lake Forest, California,” where there’s no lake and no forest. Read more on Liveblogging Some McCain-Obama Church Chat…