jeb bush

Hey, folks, are you ready to relive the 2000 election? As if some of us didn’t spend most of 2000 through 2008 doing that already? Go dimple your chads, because it’s time for some butterfly ballots, Christian-textbook style!

As it damn well should, the Times leads with the horrific shooting in California Friday night, but nothing about the Times’s dispassionate reporting style can capture the godawful misogyny that is at the core of Eliot Rodger’s murderous rampage in Santa Barbara. To its credit (?), the Times does link to Rodger’s full manifesto, which […]

Jon Stewart spent some quality time mocking our collective fascination with discussing the 2016 presidential race, particularly as it is actually the 2014 mid-terms that are right around the corner. Never mind that! Let’s speculate about who could run! Stewart is laying even money on antibiotic resistant strep and the petrified exoskeleton of Donald Trump’s […]

In Our Great Nation’s short history, we have created many uniquely American traditions: Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Patriots’ Day, free refills on soda, and electing members of the Bush family to the White House. Jeb Bush, the Bush son who probably should have run for the office the first time around, because Jeb did not get […]

You don’t even need to open this week’s Sunday New York Times to know that it is going to be wall-to-wall Chris Christie. First there was the news that he may have blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because the mayor there didn’t love Chris Christie’s real estate development as much as she should have, […]

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. […]

Hey, America’s favorite (just kidding!) first lady, Barbara Bush! We know how we feel about the legacy of your son, George W. Bush, and we know how America feels about it (they LOVE it!), but why don’t you dust off that “famously blunt” mouthhole of yours and tell us how you feel. Should Jebbie be […]

Jeb Bush, the former Florida governor and brother of greatest US American president in the history of the world, George W. “W.” Bush, thinks one certain current US American president Barack Q. Nobummer is a childish 10-year-old child — a “boy,” if you will — who uses barnyard words like “bullshitter” and thus has demeaned […]

Less than ten years ago, President George W. “W.” Bush was pulling down Saddam Hussein statues and landing Mission Accomplished jets on things. Now, according to a new profile, he spends his time painting pictures of puppies. Alas, poor Yorick! Many former presidents, isolated by their notoriety, have famously taken up solitary hobbies: Thomas Jefferson […]

WHOA WHOA WHOA you guys, we stole someone’s credential and sneaked our ass in to this … place, with all the … people … and here is Jeb Bush all up in our grill talking about the greatness that is George W. Bush. So that is happening. Guess we will be starting this fucker … […]

Show of hands: who is sick of Tom Friedman using his column to call for a moderate third party whose purpose is primarily oriented around catering to wealthy people who are exactly like Tom Friedman or alternatively, doing exactly what Obama already does? Well good, because you’re in luck, since his most recent column is […]

Josiah Erasmus Buford “Jeb” Bush is just stone cold goin’ nuts, doing that thing that all Republicans do when they’ve decided that they’re not going to run for office anytime soon, which is to admit that the Republican party is completely insane. Last week he told Charlie Rose that maybe Republicans should accept some token […]

Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending cuts for every dollar in tax increases, and how everyone raised their hand to say that […]

Grass-fed Florida alligator Jeb Bush, the man who supposedly can’t run for president because of his last name but whose endorsement and support the party appears to deem critical, has given up looking for a White Knight to endorse and will just pretend to like Mitt Romney instead. He has made his endorsement today, half-assedly, […]

What’s Jeb Bush, OLLLLL’ JEBBIE, up to these days besides being rich and Mexican? He’s not running for president, despite many urgings, because “his last name disqualifies him.” He hasn’t endorsed any candidate, most likely — though we haven’t verified this scientifically — because they’re all losers. (Just kidding, we have verified this scientifically.) Not […]