Tag Archives: japanese

  declar...(hic)...ations

Peggy Noonan Explains Who Is To Blame For The Torture Report: The Dastardly Japanese

The protests were over, the protestors having returned to their hovels in the far-off, darkened lands from whence they came (mostly Brooklyn, she assumed), and Sister Peggy Noonan’s beloved Manhattan had returned to its jaunty, holiday-time normal. The Santas with their bells and their Salvation Army kettles stood in front of the gaily decorated window displays of Bloomingdale’s. Children and lovers took their turns carving smiles with their skate blades on the Rockefeller Center ice skating rink. The bartenders in her favorite saloons were a little more liberal with the good stuff when mixing drinks. The only time when she favored liberalism! Read more on Peggy Noonan Explains Who Is To Blame For The Torture Report: The Dastardly Japanese…
  wad!

Wonkette After Dark: Vance McAllister’s Romance McFailister, Miley Pelosi, & More!

Vance McAllister has allegedly kissed his own staff! Wow, way to go Stretch! No, we are joking, we know Vance McAllister didn’t finally master yoga’s forbidden Contented Dog, he was merely allegedly kissing a lady he shouldna been kissing. Yes, a kissing scandal. You probably have to go back to the first Cleveland administration to find a quainter tale of martial infidelity among the power elite. From the video, it looked like he had a shot at second base, don’t you think? Now, to us, marital infidelity is one thing — you can decide for yourself if you wouldn’t vote for a guy or gal who says one thing and sucks another — but when McAllister started talking about getting the FBI involved, thus guaranteeing a fresh round of headlines with his name in them next to words like “Wants To Get The FBI Involved In His CHEATING SCANDAL,” that’s when we knew we were dealing with a special kind of ass. Now, onto Sexy Miley Pelosi. Sexy Miley Pelosi is a gross maybe NSFW thing that we will show you. Read more on Wonkette After Dark: Vance McAllister’s Romance McFailister, Miley Pelosi, & More!…
  eh they're all the same

Radio Wits Have Fine Chortle Over Chinaman Running For Office

Haw haw, there is a man named Nate Shinagawa and he is running for Congress if you can even believe such a thing, which these sparkling wits at WYSL cannot. Now, they don’t actually say “Me Chinese Me Play Joke” during their bit on Shinagawa’s hilarious Japanese heritage (per Right Wing Watch, he’s third generation American), and in fact the most sober of them tries to explain that it’s really just because Shinagawa is a young pup with no life experience (beyond the state county legislature, community organizing, and health care, of course), not the fact that they can’t even pronounce such a furrin name! But that’s sort of belied by the hilarity of the whole thing, which you can heart to your heart’s content right where it says “read more.” Read more on Radio Wits Have Fine Chortle Over Chinaman Running For Office…
  snooze ya later

Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue

In little more than a month, the glut of political insiders and media types that preside over Washington D.C. will all squeeze into a single cardboard box and be dropped from the Enola Gay onto Denver, leveling the city entirely and offering radiation cancer for generations of future re-colonizers. And to make our Washingtonian invaders feel more comfortable during their Democratic National Convention, Denver officials are currently trying to replicate the invaders’ hometown with measures designed to eliminate anything fun, anywhere in the city. So yesterday, a team of FBI and “Denver Metro Gang Task Force” agents arrested 27 members of the city’s “Asian Pride” gang and confiscated its cache of over 10,000 Ecstasy tablets. Tragically, there will be no Ecstasy in Denver this August. Read more on Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue…