Tag: japan

What Are Fox News Patriots Saying About Terrible, Horrible America-Hater Colin Kaepernick?

Did you hear Kaepernick is a secret Islamic? Sean Hannity did!

Why Can’t Man-Baby Donald Trump Use Nuclear Weapons, WHY WHY WHY??? A Wonksplainer

Trump reportedly asked a foreign policy expert THREE TIMES IN ONE HOUR why he's not allowed to nuke everything. THREE TIMES.
Carpe abyssium

Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!

Reading Donald Trump's Wednesday interview with the New York Times, we were struck by the thought that he actually hates America. Holds it in contempt, at least, and thinks it's a pathetic thing that might be just salvageable by the super-genius...
Wipers of other people's bottoms!

Philippines Wins World Court Case Over South China Sea Islands, China Responds, ‘Sez Who?’

So, what are the Foreigns up to this morning, aside from getting exercise outside by catching all the Pokémons? Oh, just defying international court decisions like a common George W. Bush, OK, fine, wait, what? Turns out that earlier today...

Barack Obama’s Excellent South Asian Vacation!

Barack Obama is wrapping up his gnarly Vietnamese vacation. Wish we were there!
Scootaloo has just about had it with your bullshit

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Authentic Frontier ALL-CAPS Gibberish

It's time again to take a fond look back at some of the nuttier comments left for our enjoyment and edification in the last week.
Thish guy... thish guy right here! I love thish guy!

Angry White Man Bobby Knight Can’t Wait For Donald Trump To Nuke Em All, Let Allah Sort Em Out

A day after Donald Trump proved his mastery of Foreign Policy, former Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight offered his own foreign policy genius to the Trump campaign. In a speech Thursday in Evansville, Indiana, Knight introduced Trump as having...

Ocean About To Run Out Of Bluefin Tuna, Life Not Worth Living Any More

So yeah. That's a thing now. BRB, weeping profusely and lamenting the downfall of everything worthwhile in the universe. The AP got their hands on a draft summary of a report from International Scientific Committee for Tuna and Tuna-like Species...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Here’s Your Sexxxy President Barack Obama, Calling Donald Trump A Dumbass

Remember that thing about how one of the main reasons Donald Trump is running for president is because Seth Meyers and Barry Bamz "I'll Dick You Down And You'll Like It" Obama made fun of him during the White...

Whiny MRA Jerk Babies Declare Victory Over Star Wars: Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy first post of 2016 everybody! Here is how everybody at Wonkette looked the morning of January 1 (except not nearly as cute): And now we are ready for a whole new year of nerding, so lets get right to...
Yes, yes it is.

Texas Republican Wishes Americans All Looked The Same, Like The Orientals

Here's a new twist, a fun and exciting way for a Republican to lay blame for gun violence on something, ANYTHING, that isn't spelled G-U-N-S. This time it's Texas Rep. Pete Sessions, who is NOT, science fact, the same...
nope

Scott Walker Wishes Blacks Would Be Nicer About All This Racism Stuff

Racial transcendence, how does IT work? Republican candidate and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker attempted to explain it while campaigning in Spartanburg, South Carolina, but he is a Republican, so he did a real bad job. You see, according to...
The comments section at Gawker?

Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!

OK, Portland and Seattle Wonkers, this is a public service announcement. We are going to need you to find buddies in the comments section (which does not exist), and beg them to let you crash on their couch, because...
Less charisma than a sleeping basset hound, and nowhere near as cute.

Scott Walker Will Be Best President Of America, Because He’s Been To Europe Like Twice

Despite the fact that presidential candidate Carly Fiorina (R-LOL) has explained that going places on airplanes -- like that know-nothing Hillary Clinton, who used to be Secretary of State -- is not the same thing as actual foreign policy...

Jon Stewart Finally Addresses Japan’s Pussy Boat Crisis (Video)

Jon Stewart brings us the story of Megumi Igarashi, a Japanese artist who was arrested on suspicion of breaking obscenity laws when she tried to sell 3D printouts of her vulva (let's be precise, OK?) to help crowdsource a...

Man Time: Cheer for These Underdogs

There are two important underdog stories in sportsball right now, and you should be cheering for these guys before they leave us forever. They come to us from the world of bouncy hoops and golf, and if these stories...