jamie dimon
Elizabeth Warren Hands Ben Bernanke His Own Ass
Hi Lizzz! HIIIIIII! WE LOVE YOU!!!! Why? Well, in addition to the usual reasons, Ben Bernanke appeared in front of the Senate Banking Committee yesterday, and Elizabeth Warren basically asked him stuff like: Why is everything still so horrible, Ben? Why are you doing absolutely nothing to fix anything, Ben? Why are you just standing [...]
Bernie Sanders Will Pogrom Capitalism By Not Letting Banks Regulate Themselves
Hey remember when you lost your job and all your assets, or maybe took on tens of thousands dollars in school loans so you could pay for an education that would help you get a part-time job in retail? Remember that? That was fun, right? As you claw your way out of the hole created [...]
JP Morgan Exec Given Parting Gift of $21.5 Million After Overseeing $9 Billion Loss
Being in the upper echelons of management at a bank must be better than being a rock star, really, because no matter what you do, people will still fall all over themselves to fellate you and shower you with cash. Like, for example, the billions and billions of dollars that the government gives to JP [...]
Jamie Dimon, Welfare Queen
When we last checked in with Jamie Dimon, he was getting a tongue bath from Jim DeMint (R-Jamie Dimon’s Butt) because Jamie Dimon is a Very Big Man in charge of a Very Big Bank that makes Very Big Profits for Very Big People. As Jim DeMint (R-Jamie Dimon’s Butt) noted, not everyone can do [...]
Senate Banking Committee Treats JP Morgan Chief Jamie Dimon to Luxury Tongue Bath
The Senate Banking Committee ordered Wall Street fuck-up and J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon to testify Wednesday on how his bank managed to turn over $2 billion into poop and whether this latest round of derivative market gambles equivalent to staking money on Peggy Noonan’s sobriety should, in fact, necessitate a few moderate regulations [...]
Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?
Remember a long, long time ago, WAY back, when the economy was ruined, possibly forever, along with life as we know it? Remember how this was all caused by a handful of banks but then this somehow got turned around and blamed on bunch of Poors? And then, remember how we gave them a bunch of money [...]
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