Wonkette

* America’s mayor took some pretty shiny payola from America’s team. [Political Wire]
* Lack of a major league club in Jersey just means they hand him an envelope stuffed with electoral delegates instead. [Atlantic Online]
* James Sensenbrenner: still the biggest asshole on The Hill. [TPM Muckraker]
* Tom Tancredo’s failures as a presidential candidate contribute to already substantial failures as a congressman. [Denver Post]
* Terrorists continue to target nations’ hand-release infrastructure. [Passport]
* Intelligence agencies maintain “it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.” [Secrecy News]
* Fox News wrongly accused Hillary Clinton of only recently starting to dress badly. [Media Matters]

* Barack Obama holds a secret meeting where his wife admits she’s just as turned on by power as every other political spouse on the planet. [Hotline on Call]
* “Official” blogger of the George Allen campaign dispenses advice on how to relate to bloggers during an election. Entirety of his comments entered into “do not do” section of campaign mangers’ brains. [Think Progress]
* Hillary Clinton continues taking little hush-hush baby steps towards a campaign EVERYONE KNOWS SHE’S RUNNING. [Hotline on Call]
* James Sensenbrenner’s streak of plans which backfire in his face to remain intact as DC gets voting representation. [Political Insider]
* Not Newt Gingrich, but economics wunderkind and Angelina Jolie safari partner Jeffery Sachs will be swept into the White House by popular demand. [Freakonomics]
* In Alaska, there ain’t much to do but take giant bong rips for Jesus, and screw. [Washington Wire]
* Something tells us the Mormon underwear jokes are going to be around for a while. [Rising Hegemon]
* Tom Friedman may be forced to lose the mustache in an attempt to hide from the mob that will be hunting the most ” morally bankrupt public intellectual burdening this country.” [Unclaimed Territory]

• When famous-for-DC types go to restaurants that are famous-for-being-famous, a whole lot of ass slapping goes on - but you knew that already.
  [Yeah, So I'm] MORE »

• The Bush administration’s war on terror is changing in key ways due to changes and setbacks in courts, Congress, and among allies overseas. [WP]

• PAC’s and campaigns controlled by Rep. John Doolittle paid ridiculous sums to a company staffed only by his wife. [WP]
• The FBI raid of Rep. William Jefferson’s office was constitutional, according to the a federal judge. “Congressman Jefferson’s interpretation of the Speech or Debate privilege would have the effect of converting every congressional office into a taxpayer-subsidized sanctuary for crime,” wrote the judge, seemingly without irony. [WP]
• Rep. James Sensenbrenner hates illegal immigrants, has great deal of power, won’t budge or compromise with Bush or Senate. [NYT]

• Bush nominates Henry Paulson, chairman of Goldman Sachs Group, to replace John Snow at the Treasury Department; White House sought Paulson for months. [WP, W$J, USAT, LAT]
• White House acknowledges that Bush withheld the news at his press conference last week; Paulson’s net worth is estimated to be more than $700M. [NYT, NYT]
• Paulson is described as “the kind of guy who thrives in a crisis” and “a committed environmentalist and bird watcher.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Justice Department claims Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) tried to hide documents from the FBI. [WP, LAT]
• Former chief of staff to Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) testifies that Abramoff “identified his ‘champions’ in government and then showered them with favors to get inside information and help for his clients.” [WP, NYT]
• Democrats are slow to provide a specific party platform; “this cautious strategy is generating intensifying debate within the party.” [LAT]

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On the subject of unprecedented Justice Department raids of congressional offices, we’re torn. On the one hand, it’s a bit gauche, in a banana republic sort of way. Generalissimos in chamo and all that. On the other, we like the idea of the FBI scaring the shit out of everyone so much that Hastert and Pelosi are signing join statements. So — constitutionally questionable? Maybe not in letter, but certainly in spirit. But it bodes well for those of us who were worried it might not be an interesting summer. MORE »

People seem to be having a good time these days. This week in Wonk’d brings us Judy Miller, savoring her freedom; Chief Justice John Roberts, taking in the cherry blossoms; and James Carville, enjoying a springtime run. Also spotted: Hillary Clinton, hopping into her pimped-out town car; Rep. James Sensenbrenner, buying a small fortune in lottery tickets; and Cynthia McKinney pal Danny Glover, asking for directions. You can check them out, along with several other celebrity sightings, after the jump.

Please continue to keep us well-stocked in sightings, via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

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Just because you’re famous, or famous-for-D.C., doesn’t mean you don’t need to buy stuff.

Actually, we take that back; it kinda does! Usually celebrities can have their household help or personal assistants do their shopping for them. But sometimes they buy their own stuff — and when they do, Wonk’d sightings are the hilarious result!

After the jump (click here), live vicariously through your fellow Wonkette readers, as they hit the supermarket with Bill Cosby, shop for electronics with Donna Brazile — and give Dick Cheney the finger.

(And please continue to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks!)

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We first came to know Representative James Sensenbrenner during those halcyon days of the Clinton impeachment hearings. The legendary House Managers were captivating the world with their combovers and their tenuous grasp of legal specifics, and Sensenbrenner was the group’s Brick Tamland character — loud and loyal, never permitted to get too close to anyone’s pet bunny. Now, as a result of a series of badly played bets and poorly executed dares, Sensenbrenner is somehow the chair of the House Judiciary Committee. MORE »

You say you want a Big Mac with a nice, juicy lawsuit on the side? Not if James Sensenbrenner (R - WI) has anything to say about it. He and his colleagues in the House of Representatives voted 307-119 in favor of a bill that prohibits fatties from suing burger chains for making crappy food too cheap and delicious. In a refreshingly blunt style, the probable fitness freak Sensenbrenner expounds: “As one judge put it, if a person knows or should know that eating copious orders of super-sized McDonald’s products is unhealthy and could result in weight gain, it is not the place of the law to protect them from their own excesses.” Idle thought: Does Opensecrets.org track french fry contributions? — GREG BEATO MORE »