Tag Archives: james o’keefe

  Accurate reporting is a liberal conspiracy!

Mean Federal Judge Won’t Let James O’Keefe Sue For Libel Just Because He Wasn’t Libeled, Unfair!

Behind that mask is a very sad face.
Rightwing dildo-lube-boat-enthusiast James O’Keefe is being oppressed again by activist judges and the mean liberal media. An obviously terrible judge has struck down his libel case arising from his infamous (failed) attempt to pretend to be a phone company worker for the purposes of sneaking into then-Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu’s office so O’Keefe could, we don’t know … bug it? Mess with her phone lines? Kidnap the senator and take her on a dildo lube boat ride to hell? You never know with “journalists” like O’Keefe! Whatever it was, O’Keefe and his rarely sexed pals were charged with tampering with phone lines, and they pleaded out on a lesser misdemeanor charge of simply trying to get into a federal facility using the age-old tactic of lying. Read more on Mean Federal Judge Won’t Let James O’Keefe Sue For Libel Just Because He Wasn’t Libeled, Unfair!…
  grifter gotta grift

James O’Keefe Totally Pwns Catholic College For Loving ISIS And Terrorism. Obviously.

Who wants to take one for the team, ladies?
Whey-faced adult virgin James O’Keefe (or his publicist) has been spamming us to take a look at his latest video allegedly exposing another college campus for being a hotbed of ISIS-supporting terrorist love. That way, he can fundraise by saying “Liberal blog Wonkette is attacking us because they are afraid of the truth that Project Veritas reveals yarrrrgle blargle poop!” Well, us liberals love to help out losers and their lost causes, so let’s give him a boost! Read more on James O’Keefe Totally Pwns Catholic College For Loving ISIS And Terrorism. Obviously….
  Hello! I Am Fellow Nonviolent Protester! We Murder Cops Now Yes?

James O’Keefe Can’t Get Anyone To Say They Want To Kill Cops, Sadface :(

NOTE: Only one of these photos is a mug shot
Poor James O’Keefe has had another of his very serious undercover filmmaking projects blow up in his face, it appears. And for the strangest of reasons: a couple of his employees at “Project Veritas” seem to have decided that one of O’Keefe’s projects was actually too morally indefensible even for them. Read more on James O’Keefe Can’t Get Anyone To Say They Want To Kill Cops, Sadface :(…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
  department of grifting

Guys, Please Don’t Murder James O’Keefe

Raging garbage fire James O’Keefe has released another one of his fake videos, one that promises to be his most dangerous project yet, according to O’Keefe himself. Will he once again risk getting shot by the Border Patrol as he wades across a drainage ditch dressed in a thrown-together-at-the-last-minute Halloween costume? Cross Lake Erie from Canada into Cleveland with a bag of radioactive doughnuts from Tim Horton’s? What feats of derring-do will this intrepid daredevil undertake to get to the truth? Read more on Guys, Please Don’t Murder James O’Keefe…
  Get Up So I Can Kill You Again

ACORN Still Dead, Republicans Still Trying To Kill It Some More In New Budget Bill

Someday the Killing of ACORN will become an actual religious ritual
So we have a Keep-the-Government-Running agreement on the way, hooray, and among all the fun stuff like keeping the lights on, paying to fight Ebola, and cutting the IRS budget just for the sheer dickishness of it, there’s a clause that makes sure no funds ever go to ACORN or any of its successors. Now, mere mortals might scoff at such a thing, since as we all know, ACORN is as dead as James O’Keefe’s cerebral cortex, but we also know that if there’s anything Republicans love, it’s a chance to stick a symbolic knife through the metaphorical ribs of a notional enemy. And so the inevitable line in the budget bill (no, you can’t make us say “cromnibus” … oh, poop): Read more on ACORN Still Dead, Republicans Still Trying To Kill It Some More In New Budget Bill…
  Unicorns are also real

Nope, Still No Voter Fraud In Colorado

It's super easy to do
Are you still worried that Colorado is a hotbed of voter fraud? You’re supposed to be, according to convicted criminal “journalist” James O’Keefe, who went there to prove that Democrats are totally stealing all the ballots. (Spoiler: He did not prove that.) And there’s also been some Olympic-level concern trolling by Colorado’s Republican Secretary of State Scott Gessler, who insisted that the United States Postal Service is “the greatest vehicle for disenfranchisement in the country.” Read more on Nope, Still No Voter Fraud In Colorado…
  Wonkette Guide to Electoral Shenanigans

Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day

  When it comes to threats against fair elections in America, voter fraud is the new Black Panthers. The way everyone’s talking about electoral integrity this fall, people must be fake-voting coast to coast! With the midterm elections coming up on Tuesday, it’s time to ask: Is voter fraud right for you? Read more on Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day…
  Ballot Battle 2014

James O’Keefe Looks For Voter Fraud In Colorado, Finds Nothing. Again.

Ever since we heard the news that James O’Keefe had launched a voter fraud scavenger hunt in Colorado, we’ve been eagerly waiting, as we’re sure you have, Wonketteers, for his latest video to drop. Now that we’ve had a chance to see the highlight reel of O’Keefe’s Rocky Mountain Mustache Caper,  purporting to show Democratic Sen. Mark Udall’s “advocates” standing by while an army of fraudulent voters gear up to steal the election, we have to say we’re a little disappointed. Read more on James O’Keefe Looks For Voter Fraud In Colorado, Finds Nothing. Again….
  playing dress-up

Poor James O’Keefe Can’t Even Trick Dumb Dems Into Committing Voter Fraud

Image via YouTube James O’Keefe’s fault — if he has a fault — is that his flair for the dramatic can sometimes get in the way of his top-secret undercover investigations. Subtlety is not something that comes naturally to the wunderkind who rose to conservative fame on the strength of his downmarket Huggy Bear impression. During his most recent operation in Colorado, however, things took a turn for the intellectual. O’Keefe’s new approach to expose all those left-wing ballot bandits: pass himself off as a liberal academic with the help of a young sidekick, grownup facial hair and, presumably, some leather elbow patches. Read more on Poor James O’Keefe Can’t Even Trick Dumb Dems Into Committing Voter Fraud…
  Senator Wingnut

John McCain Hearts James O’Keefe, Osama Bin Laden

douche
On Wednesday, the Senate’s Homeland Security Committee held hearings about possible terrorist infiltration of the nation’s southern border. This gave lifelike waxworks statue Sen. John McCain (R-Dang Fence) a chance to cite the spectacular work of “journalist” James O’Keefe in exposing the lack of security along a drainage ditch somewhere in the ass end of Texas. Or, as that area is known to everyone else, Texas. Read more on John McCain Hearts James O’Keefe, Osama Bin Laden…
  We Finally See O'Keefe's Sex Boat

James O’Keefe Proves Obama Lets Canadian ISIS Militants In Ninja Costumes Cross The Border With Ebola And Ricin

Isis Ebola Ninjas are coming for you!
OMG you guys, we are SO SCREWED! After proving that an asshole in an Osama bin Laden mask can cross the Rio Grande, brilliant rightwing documentarian James O’Keefe has once again proven that Barack Hussein Obama wants us all to be killed by terrorists! In his latest scam exposé, O’Keefe shows just how vulnerable we are to attack! In this shocking video, an actor with a British accent, a rented ninja costume (we assume — in the interest of journalistic responsibility, we must note that O’Keefe did not explain the provenance of the black outfit), and plastic bags with “ebola” and “ricin” written on them is able to ride across Lake Erie in a boat, enter Cleveland in broad daylight, and walk right into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame “on the eve of the 9/11 anniversary,” and nobody challenged him at all! Therefore, we are all at risk! PLEASE TO PANIC NOW, EVERYONE. Read more on James O’Keefe Proves Obama Lets Canadian ISIS Militants In Ninja Costumes Cross The Border With Ebola And Ricin…
  As Ye Have Done It Unto One Of The Least Of These

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Sorry about that. America's full, you see.
Some inspiring news for the deport-everyone-immediately crowd today: According to a Los Angeles Times report, “at least five, and as many as 10, of the 42 children” who have been killed in criminal violence in Honduras since February had been deported from the United States, according to the manager of a city morgue in San Pedro Sula. Not that anyone could have seen that coming, except for the human rights workers who warned that it was likely to happen. Read more on Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed….
  Thanks Nobama

James O’Keefe Takes Al-Qaeda Cosplay Fantasies To Mexico Border To Prove Something, We Guess

douche
Since last week we had been hearing rumblings on the Internet that smirking dildo boat enthusiast James O’Keefe III had a new video that would SHOCK EVERYONE and CHANGE THE GAME (mostly we were hearing this from O’Keefe’s Twitter feed, but we’re suckers for hype). Just yesterday Gavin McInnes, who is literally a bag of farts, promised us that he was “not exaggerating” when he said the new video “might be the most embarrassing thing to happen on Obama’s watch.” More embarrassing than the IRS or Fast & Furious or all the czars or losing Iraq or BENGHAAAAAAZI? We’ll be the judge of that! Read more on James O’Keefe Takes Al-Qaeda Cosplay Fantasies To Mexico Border To Prove Something, We Guess…
  undercover brother

You Are Not Going To Believe This, But James O’Keefe’s Hollywood ‘Sting’ *May* Have Been Deceptively Edited

Hey, remember yesterday, when superjournalist James O’Keefe proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that hypocrite “environmentalist” Ed Begley Jr. makes love to greasy piles of Muslim oil money, and Mariel Hemingway’s a giant whore? Well, not to pull your world out from under you, but those tapes may have been selectively edited. We will wait while you do some meditation or smoke some drugs to get your head back on right. Ready? Well, another person O’Keefe surreptitiously taped while pretending to be a mysterious man named “Muhammed” is used to the natural gas industry doing Scientology-style skeezy shit to him, as he’s the guy behind Gasland and Gasland II, about the marvelous marvels of fracking greatness, what is great. And he taped the phone calls as well. (Audio at the Daily Beast.) Would you believe that one of these phone calls is not like the other? Read more on You Are Not Going To Believe This, But James O’Keefe’s Hollywood ‘Sting’ *May* Have Been Deceptively Edited…
  fracksylvania 6-5000

James O’Keefe Proves Something Terrible About Hypocrite Enviro Ed Begley Jr., Probably, We Guess

This post sponsored by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spills, Fracking, and Stereotypical Fake Ethnic Accents. Guys, you are just not going to believe the INCREDIBLE STING that James O’Keefe, beloved everywhere as “the wingnut Allen Funt,” managed to pull off this time! He tricked two actual Hollywood Celebrities into appearing in a supposed “anti-fracking documentary” that they thought was being made by a guy named “Muhammed,” who cleverly did not tell them that its “funding is coming from Middle Eastern oil interests.” This proves that they are “hypocrites,” somehow, because they were supposed to know that they were being asked to take a position that they already believe, in a movie with a made-up secret agenda that they were not told about! BEST. TAKEDOWN. EVAR. Read more on James O’Keefe Proves Something Terrible About Hypocrite Enviro Ed Begley Jr., Probably, We Guess…
  repugnant force meets unsavory object

James O’Keefe Now Sliming Republicans , Finds Target-Rich Environment

James “I am a Camera” O’Keefe has scored another stunning victory, this time against Mike Ellis, a Republican and Wisconsin’s state Senate President. O’Keefe’s Project Veritas caught Ellis talking in a bar about setting up an illegal super PAC to collect money for his fall campaign against Democratic candidate Penny Bernard Schaber, and after the video was posted Wednesday, Ellis announced today that he was dropping his bid for reelection. Yr Wonkette is of two minds on this: On the one hand, it certainly looks like Ellis was talking about illegally setting up his own PAC, a violation of campaign finance laws that prohibit candidates from coordinating their campaigns with PACs. That’s not good. On the other hand, James O’Keefe is just about the slimiest, most dishonest political operator out there, and we’re not sure that the benefit of exposing a politician’s plans to do sleazy political funding is balanced by O’Keefe’s sleazy methods. This is really one of those pox o’ both thy houses things, don’t you think? And by “pox,” of course, we mean “VD.” Read more on James O’Keefe Now Sliming Republicans , Finds Target-Rich Environment…
  we don't think veritas means what he thinks it means

Special Prosecutors Dismiss Case Against Liberal Group, Explain James O’Keefe Is A Liar

There’s rarely a chance for us to say this, so please savor the moment: We have good news out of Texas, where prosecutors dismissed a stupid case against Battleground Texas, a liberal group trying to persuade Texans to stop voting for idiots, which was brought about when known ass-clown and rightwing sockpuppet James O’Keefe lied about their activities, because he is a liar. Once again, James O’Keefe sent his motivated minions undercover to find out what nefarious activities liberals were doing. Would he find our secret lair where we ensure all womyn abort every Republican fetus at an agnostic non-religious service, surrounded by Hollywood liberals and statues of FDR sucking Barack Obama’s schlong? No, that remains secret. But here is what he found: The inquiry began after conservative activist James O’Keefe and his group, Project Veritas, made a video that purported to show Battleground Texas workers talking about transcribing telephone numbers from voter registration cards they’d collected. O’Keefe said in the video that taking phone numbers violated Texas law, and Republican leaders, including Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, called for a criminal investigation. WE WANT BEHEADINGS! Burn them, for they are likely witches who float in water like very small rocks! With such damning evidence, Battleground Texas will surely go down in the annals of history as the most corruptest organization in Texas history. Seriously, this smoking gun evidence should have those Battleground Texas folks in prison and likely on death row in no time, right? Special prosecutor John Economidy, a Republican, told The Associated Press that he and fellow special prosecutor Christine Del Prado, a Democrat, determined that Battleground Texas did not violate state election law by transcribing phone numbers submitted on voter registration forms. San Antonio Judge Raymond Angelini signed the dismissal without comment on Friday, Economidy added. Hooray! Victory! Nice Time! And in Texas of all places!! Let’s victorysplore what happened.  Read more on Special Prosecutors Dismiss Case Against Liberal Group, Explain James O’Keefe Is A Liar…
  terribawesome

Sarah Palin’s New Teevee Show Has A Theme Song And It Is Your New Jam, America

You guys we are so excited to bring you this sick new jam that is going to be the theme song for Sarah Palin’s latest teevee vanity project that she will quit in six months, “Amazing America.” Conveniently, the song is also too called “Amazing America” so Sarah can’t mess up the name. Haha she still will you guys. Read more on Sarah Palin’s New Teevee Show Has A Theme Song And It Is Your New Jam, America…
  hot pixx

Reaganpalooza! A Children’s Treasury Of Douches Near But Not Officially Part Of CPAC

Young conservatives love Ronald Reagan. If you want them to come to your party, name it after the Gipper! Throw in some Reagan-themed cocktails and a swag table from the Daily Caller and you’ve got Reaganpalooza, an unofficial CPAC function that marked its 10th anniversary this year. Let’s see what all the fine young cannibals Republicans got up to! Read more on Reaganpalooza! A Children’s Treasury Of Douches Near But Not Officially Part Of CPAC…
  speaking truthiness to power

Brave Warrior James O’Keefe Says Conservatives Should Be Brave, Have Big Balls Like Him

The last time we checked in with Mobile Ego Unit James O’Keefe, the nasty little spud was on the receiving end of a world-class cussing-out at the hands of former US Attorney Jim Letten, who didn’t want a free copy of O’Keefe’s stupid book. This weekend, O’Keefe went to flog his book on friendlier turf, an Eagle Forum podcast hosted by Phyllis Schlafly’s niece Anne Cori, where O’Keefe could be a victim of liberal persecution without actually having to go outdoors and get yelled at. O’Keefe had a message of tough love for fellow conservatives, who he worries are “afraid to be effective because to be effective is to be hated.” He did not consider an alternative hypothesis, which is that being hated is more the result of being an obnoxious little weasel. Read more on Brave Warrior James O’Keefe Says Conservatives Should Be Brave, Have Big Balls Like Him…
  nasty little hobbitses

Nice Time! Let’s All Watch This Former U.S. Attorney Yelling At James O’Keefe!

There is not much to say about this lovely video of former US Attorney Jim Letten, the man who prosecuted O’Keefe for pretending to be a phone company worker to get into Mary Landrieu’s office for nefarious reasons not quite known (though it was always suspected he intended to bug her phone) and to which O’Keefe pleaded guilty. Ignore O’Keefe’s overwrought voiceover regarding how he is being “threatened” by Letten yelling “shut up” at him. And ignore his weak-sauce argument that he showed his driver’s license at Landrieu’s office, so pretending to be a phone company worker could not at all be fraud. Read more on Nice Time! Let’s All Watch This Former U.S. Attorney Yelling At James O’Keefe!…