Tag Archives: james inhofe

  luntzing it up

Republicans Will Save Hero Polluters From EPA’s Mad Scientists

REAL science helps the jerb creators
You’ve got to at least respect the cunning of the oil industry buddies in Congress who are pushing a pair of bills aimed at restricting the EPA: They’ve given their bills names that Frank Luntz would just love — the “Secret Science Reform Act” and the “Science Advisory Board Reform Act.” Those sound nice! After all, science shouldn’t be secret, it should be open and transparent! And we definitely want to make sure that Congress gets good advice on using science, don’t we? Oklahoma Rep. Frank Lucas and Texas Rep. Lamar Smith just care about the people having input on government, as long as the people you’re talking about have names like Exxon/Mobil and Shell. Read more on Republicans Will Save Hero Polluters From EPA’s Mad Scientists…
  Case settled then

Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?

He's got your 'global warming' right here!
Oklahoma Republican Sen. James (“Jim” to his friends, “Dickface” to most of America) Inhofe knows global warming is a hoax, as he has proven repeatedly, why won’t you dumb people listen to him instead of all those “scientists” who say otherwise? (No, not the scientists paid by the oil and gas industry to deny climate change is real; the other 99 percent of scientists who say yes it is TOO real.) Read more on Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?…
  Ebola Virus Anagrams To 'A Lib Over Us'

Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe

I'm old, I don't need to make sense
Wingnuts who think it’s just crazy for Barack Hussein Obama to send U.S. troops to Africa to fight Ebola — don’t be silly, you can’t shoot a virus! — have themselves a new hero in Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe. Until this morning, he had blocked funding for the mission because he is an amoral asshole he has serious concerns about stretching the defense budget too thin at a time when we need to be ready to do war in Syria and stuff. Read more on Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe…
  things that go bump in the night

Conservatives Cranking Terror Alert Level Up To OMG! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

Wonketteers, we do not wish to alarm you about the threat from ISIS, but you should be SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN TERROR BECAUSE THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVERY LOVED. Or at least that seems to be the conservative talking point for the week after the tragic beheading of photojournalist James Foley by militants in Syria. Which is not to play down the insanity of ISIS at all; it is a vicious bunch of assholes. (Even Peggy Noonan was appropriately clear-eyed about the group in today’s column – pants-shitting terror has a way of sobering up even the most wasted of drunks.) But still, some of this might be a bit excessive. Read more on Conservatives Cranking Terror Alert Level Up To OMG! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!…
  baby its trolled outside

James Inhofe: Don’t Extend Unemployment Benefits, Because God Is in Charge Of Climate Change (Which Is Fake)

Listen up, heathens. Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe just needs to explain a thing or two to you people who think we need to extend emergency unemployment benefits that ended December 28. He has just two words that explain why we don’t need to do that: Polar Vortex. It’s easily the best cryptic advice since that one guy told Anne Bancroft’s little boy-toy “Plastics.” For that matter, we bet Inhofe is big on those, too. Read more on James Inhofe: Don’t Extend Unemployment Benefits, Because God Is in Charge Of Climate Change (Which Is Fake)…
  Oooooooklahoma!

Tornado Only The Third-Biggest Bag Of Wind In Oklahoma This Week

Spackle-brained dick weasel Sen. James Inhofe is bad at so many, many things. He does not understand legally defined standards of treatment for prisoners of war. He thinks he understands science better than actual scientists. He is even a shitty pilot. In fact, the only marketable skill James Inhofe possesses is his innate ability to be a spackle-brained dick weasel. Luckily for him that there exists a job for which this skill is a feature and not a bug: United States senator! Yesterday a corner of Inhofe’s home state got flattened like an anthill stomped by a hyperactive five-year-old. Most humans who viewed the footage were moved to tears or anger or tears of anger. Inhofe’s colleague Tom Coburn, no slouch himself in the spackle-brained dick weasel department, was moved as well … right to the nearest television camera, where he stated that he would be happy to ask the federal government for financial help in cleaning up and rebuilding, just so long as Congress found some budget “offsets” elsewhere. So the folks in Oklahoma can have some help after this terrible tragedy so long as some other folks in Florida or Arkansas or New York agree to go without food or medical care for a while. This argle bargle was followed by a collective BANG! as if millions of heads struck millions of desks at the exact same moment. Then everyone started reminding Coburn and Inhofe about their votes against the Hurricane Sandy relief bill last year, which made them look like heartless skinsacks. Today Inhofe went on the TV box himself, where a news anchor asked him if maybe he wasn’t being a tiny bit hypocritical in demanding federal aid for Oklahoma after denying it to New Jersey. That was when we learned that James Inhofe, in addition to having a hypocritical streak wider than Ari Fleischer’s forehead, also sucks at geography (or knowledge of any kind really): Read more on Tornado Only The Third-Biggest Bag Of Wind In Oklahoma This Week…
  punching hippies

House Armed Services Committee Will Teach Stupid Hippie Generals The Error Of Their Ways

Libtards have a few grudging stock answers for things they like about the military: it kickstarted social integration in the country. It put Jean Claude Aristide back in power in Haiti, for a while. It scrubbed Alaskan rocks and seagulls of the Exxon-Valdez’s bubbling crude. And it has led the way on alternative energy, both in its own R&D and as a ready-made market. All the generals (who are apparently a bunch of stupid hippies) agreed that Murka’s dependence on foreign oil — the government was spending $1 billion a day on it — was a bit of a national security problem! Well, it is not a national security problem anymore, because the House Armed Services Committee — oh, and the rest of the House — has decided to make it illegal for the military to use any alternative fuels if they cost more than regular gas, coal, and oil! If a stupid hippie general likes something, all the House GOP has to do is kill it for no reason, and the problem (of a hippie somewhere smiling) is solved! Those guys, always looking out for the military’s needs! Read more on House Armed Services Committee Will Teach Stupid Hippie Generals The Error Of Their Ways…
  very dumb things

Okie Sen. James Inhofe: No Climate Change Because Bible Told Him So

Best and smartest US Senator by universal acclamation James Inhofe has laideth down some Science on thee during an interview with (who else?) the Voice of Christian Youth America radio show “Crosstalk.” Spaketh Inhofe, while evangelizing his new “book,” The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future, “Well actually the Genesis 8:22 that I use in there is that ‘as long as the earth remains there will be seed time and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night,’ my point is, God’s still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous.” In yer face, Science! Read more on Okie Sen. James Inhofe: No Climate Change Because Bible Told Him So…
  speaking of them

Robert F. Kennedy Jr: ‘Speaking Of Prostitutes…’

Speaking of prostitutes, big oil’s top call girl Sen Inhofe wants to kill fuel economy backed by automakers, small biz, enviros, & consumers — Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) March 6, 2012 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (SO MANY-BRANCHÈD, THE TREE OF CAMELOT) has, oh dear, it turns out that men everywhere, regardless of chad preference, enjoy slandering as well as utilizing the adult enjoyment industry. Let’s try this again anew. RFK Jr, who works for the NRDC and is like a river god or river horse or something, by trade, dunno, the background of his Twitter profile is about rivers, on Tuesday afternoon decided to lasso the Rush Limbaugh catastrophe-miracle for his very own purposes by calling Republican Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma a “prostitute” and, for good measure, a “call girl.” Fox Constitutional News’s response to this is to ask, “Will Media Be Outraged?” The answer is of course no, because this still and hopefully forever undeleted tweet is witty, metaphorical and accurate, except, well, apologies to the adult enjoyment industry. Read more on Robert F. Kennedy Jr: ‘Speaking Of Prostitutes…’…
  less than meghan mccain

Photos: Looks Like Bin Laden Was Shot While In His Underwear

Hey everyone! James Inhofe got to see the bin Laden photos! James Inhofe got to see the bin Laden photos! Ooh! James Inhofe got to see the bin Laden photos! His beard this time was a little bit shorter and it was more salt-and-pepper. You could tell it’s probably the actual color of the beard. Now, what he was dressed in, some of these were just headshots so you only had the head shot. Only two of them showed that he was partially, I would say you would call underwear on, that was about it. Read more on Photos: Looks Like Bin Laden Was Shot While In His Underwear…
  aging kamikazes

James Inhofe Nearly Killed a Bunch of People Landing Plane Last Year

76-year-old Republican Sen. James Inhofe of Oklahoma landed his Cessna plane on a closed runway at Cameron County Airport in Texas last October despite people telling the crazy old man in the hurtling death machine he was not allowed to land there. According to FAA documents, Inhofe “‘sky hopped’ over the six vehicles and personnel working on the runway, and then landed.” There was apparently a big yellow “X” on the runway just in case any senile senators in the sky forgot they had been told it was closed, but that didn’t concern Inhofe. According to a Vietnam vet at the scene, “I can assure you I have never seen such a reckless disregard for human life in my life.” Yep, sounds like a Republican senator. Read more on James Inhofe Nearly Killed a Bunch of People Landing Plane Last Year…
  no seriously don't

Everyone Wake Up Tomorrow, To Watch The Senate Vote!

Republicans have finally said “aw fuck all” and agreed with Democrats to move tomorrow’s final health care vote from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., so Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn can go watch their grandkids sing about jeebus in Tulsa or whatever. They also have to vote on extending the debt limit — due to expire Dec. 31! — by $290 billion, which should buy us another few hours. Why are the Republicans such quitters about everything? If the U.S. defaults on its debt, imagine all the seats they’d pick up in the upcoming midterm elections! Read more on Everyone Wake Up Tomorrow, To Watch The Senate Vote!…
  annals of diplomacy

Inhofe Makes Nice With Clown

Senator James Inhofe recently unleashed on Al Franken the most foul insult a short, liberal Jew from Minnesota can ever hope to hear: he called him a clown. And Franken took it like a gentleman, but you could tell he was mortally offended. Read more on Inhofe Makes Nice With Clown…
 

Iraqi Insurgents Tragically Fail To Kill U.S. Lawmakers

Iraqi insurgents nearly killed three Republican senators and a Democrat from the House, for good measure, as the Americans attempted to flee Iraq on Thursday. GOP senators Richard Shelby, James Inhofe, Mel Martinez and Alabama Representative “Robert” E. “Bud” Cramer were finishing their vacation in Baghdad when missiles and rocket-propelled grenades were fired at their C-130 cargo plane. Read more on Iraqi Insurgents Tragically Fail To Kill U.S. Lawmakers…
 

Rumors On the Internets: Turn and Face the Strain

* Jim Jeffords stole Walnuts! maverick thunder in 2001 and never gave it back. [QandO] * Diane Feinstein: so many fuckups to distance herself from, so little time. [World Net Daily] * Army happy to accept freshly-inked killers the Marines have rejected. [Vodka Pundit] * James Inhofe hates U2 as much as you do. [C&L] * Rudy took down Judy the first night. [Hotline on Call] * Predictable Iowa voters go for the whitest candidate with a cock. [MoJo] * New jib-jab cartoon that debuted at last night’s radio/teevee dinner. [jibjab] * Howard Dean is less of a prick than before. Hazzzzzzzzzzah! [Roll Call] Read more on Rumors On the Internets: Turn and Face the Strain…
 

Rumors On the Internets: First Prize Is One Week In DC, Second Prize Is Two Weeks

* Presidential hopefuls travel to Las Vegas this weekend to IM with voters. [Think Progress] * If it costs $950 to have lunch with Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson, then it must cost at least two grand to not have lunch with them. [Charitybuzz] * Movie-line jokes about Fred Thompson’s candidacy to wear thin rapidly. Laugh now. [Vodka Pundit] * The Other 85 U.S. Attorneys keep truckin’ along in their partisan hackaday lives. [Robert Reich] * Doing things like letting Jack Abramoff out of jail. [Guardian] * Tom DeLay didn’t write or read his own book. [Political Wire] * Bill O’Reilly’s hatred of NBC will be tested. [Intoxination] * Why is James Inhofe such a dick? [Firedoglake] Read more on Rumors On the Internets: First Prize Is One Week In DC, Second Prize Is Two Weeks…
 

Dingbat Inhofe Bravely Saves Kids From Brainwashing

Actual psychopath Jim Inhofe sent some of his staff to a UN climate-change meeting and has since learned a terrible secret: The actual goal of these “global warming” devils is to brainwash children. Read more on Dingbat Inhofe Bravely Saves Kids From Brainwashing…
 

Gossip Roundup: Something Media-ish

Heard on the Hill: HoH finds three monkeys Indian people who support George Allen… A stunt plane flown by Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) “spun out of control” last week… Denny Hastert gave out the wrong number for his live nude Page abuse-reporting hotline. [Roll Call] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Something Media-ish…
 

Miracle Man

Senator Jim “My Family Is Straighter Than Yours” Inhofe (R-OK) on Iraq: “What’s happened there is nothing short of a miracle.” He means the “annihilation of the Canaanites” sort of miracle, right? Or the “getting Lot drunk and raping him” kind? Read more on Miracle Man…
 

Jurassic Perk: Crichton’s Fame Exchanged for Dignity of Senate Panel

An operative writes to alert us that certified blockbustersaurus Michael Crichton is testifying today before Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe’s Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. The man who gave the world Disclosure–you know, the book that demonstrated sexual harassment is a tool of oppression wielded by powerful women over their countless male-drone underlings–will now be holding forth on the state of global warning. His qualifications, you ask? He’s written a novel about on the subject, and–we hope you’re sitting down–the book in question, State of Fear, is, in the words of our tipster, “a heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat story about its hero’s struggle against those who are trying to dupe the world into thinking global warming is a real problem.”  Read more on Jurassic Perk: Crichton’s Fame Exchanged for Dignity of Senate Panel…