James Carville and Paul Begala: they are lurking in the shadows of our nation’s capital, hidden behind a mysterious “door,” and when you open that door they will jump out wearing Batman suits and rape you before they steal your kidneys. Find out how you can get in on this one-in-a-millennium sexytime action, after the jump! MORE »

Let’s see, it’s … yep, it’s a day of the year, so that means another exciting “Help Hillary Pay Her Campaign Debt, With Your Money, Instead of, Say, the Clintons’ Fortune” email. Today’s spam comes from the “Actual Psychopathic Cajun,” Mary Matalin’s equally frightening spouse, James Carville. Just hit that DONATE button and fork over the cash and you may win an exciting and very sexy time with horny ex-president Bill Clinton, or an even sexier time with Carville and Paul Begala. MORE »

What do politicians and political types do besides hold fundraisers and plot the latest childish prank against their enemies? They go to Starbucks! So if you want to see somebody “famous,” in the sense of “seated next to Roland Martin in the fourth hour of CNN primary coverage last year,” you should definitely hot-foot it to your local chain coffee store. After the jump: sightings of luminaries such as Michael Steele and James Carville at the Starbucks; heartthrobs Mitch McConnell and Stephen Colbert schlepping around transportation centers; and twopeat Wonk’d featuree Patrick Leahy at a half marathon. MORE »

Last night, your “Polaroid Liz” Glover went to some party in Denver called like, “James Carville’s Cajun Bayou Bash!” No but really: it was some hokey New Orleans stereotype-athon, hosted by James Carville, to show support for HURRICANE KATRINA. Here’s how Liz describes Carville at his own creepy party: “I got a contact high from the bourbon coming out of his pores.” And here they are in gritty ’70s porn lighting.

Weird old Cajun swamp weasel James Carville called Bill Richardson and said he wanted his thirty pieces of silver back. Then a chicken made a sound three times and Carville was like, “Hillary who?” in an alarming visit to Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina, in which he said all sorts of damning things about his former friend Senator Hillary Clinton. MORE »

Over the weekend, Clinton whore James Carville famously told Newsweek that if Hillary “gave [Obama] one of her cojones, they’d both have two.” Ha ha, isn’t James Carville funny. See, he is a crazy womp-rat from a French swamp, but he also knows things about politics, and that is why he can make jokes about Hillary Clinton’s nuclear waste-enhanced scrotum in the magazines. Forget that Barack Obama’s one testicle was able to produce two children, while uber-man Bill Clinton’s chafing member could only manage one. It was obviously very politically damaging to this fag, Obama, and that is why he responded to Carville so very cattily today. MORE »

MICKEY KANTOR TOTALLY CALLED INDIANA PEOPLE “SHIT”: So maybe the “white niggers” part of that Mickey Kantor video was altered, but were Indiana’s people the referent of his “shit” usage? Check out this review of The War Room from 1993: “Whether Carville and company are play-acting somewhat for the cameras becomes less important as the film progresses. One can only keep up an act for so long — especially in the throes of a campaign. Carville’s tearful farewell speech to his staff as they close up just before the election, Stephanopoulos’s frank talk with a potential blackmailer and a Mickey Kantor comment about the people of Indiana (when it looks as though Clinton’s ahead in Dan Quayle’s state) attest to this.” Mickey Kantor called Indiana people “shit,” so Hillary Clinton probably agreed or something. [Washington Post]

That instantly infamous video clip — it’s from The War Room, which is a funny documentary about the ‘92 campaign — does NOT feature Clinton bigwig Mickey Canton calling the nice people of Indiana “white niggers,” Kantor tells the Huffington Post. Kantor says he would never use that word, the N-bomb, and that this is a “conspiracy” and “libel” and he is going to make YouTube stop this right away. Kantor does not dispute the other part, where he says, “Look at Indiana — wait, wait, look at Indiana. 42-40. It doesn’t matter if we win, those people are shit.” [Huffington Post]

You may recall that Hillary’s husband Bill was president for a while in the 1990s, and that is why Hillary gets to run for president but never actually win. This clip highlights a moment on the trail during the 1992 election, where a hilariously ’90s-outfitted James Carville and George Stephanopoulos are checking out the latest polling figures. In steps Mickey Kantor, the chairman of Bill’s campaign, to express his views on the good blue-collars of Indiana. They are not only the pride and soul of America, according to the subtitles, but they are also “shit” and “white niggers.” The most offensive part is pretty sketchy, considering you can’t see anybody actually saying this. UPDATE: Kantor denies, Conspiracy! MORE »

Priggish Acadian fur-trader James Carville appeared on Larry King Live last night with his mortal enemy, fat Mexican ex-presidential candidate Bill Richardson, to Assess the Race. Carville had famously called Richardson “Judas Iscariot” after the latter endorsed Barack Obama, because Bill Clinton gave Richardson two or three of his 80,000 stupid jobs in the 1990s and now he won’t even support the damn wife’s campaign. The two continued fighting each other last night, most notably when Carville makes fun of Richardson’s tropical beach vacation. Video after the jump. MORE »

Hello, people who are suddenly seeing famous-for-D.C. people everywhere in town all of a sudden! We like this, we like it very much. So this week, enjoy the voyeuristic fun of seeing James Carville, George Allen, lovebirds Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich, Keith Olbermann, Martin Sheen and many more, after the jump. MORE »