Wonkette

Once again demonstrating that everything fucked up about race relations in this country can be traced back to Strom Thurmond, the New York Daily News announced this weekend that one of Al Sharpton’s ancestors was once owned by one of Thurmond’s ancestors. MORE »

While there have been many successful government conspiracies against the American people — Enron, Iran-Contra, the S&L collapse, “Dancing With the Stars,” 9/11, etc. — the proletariat prefers simpler narratives, such as the troubling connections between the tragic loss of Gerald Ford and James Brown within a few hours of each other.

All the evidence of a massive, far-reaching riddle wrapped in an enigma, after the jump.

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* Web neocons horrified to discover entire subspecies of ultra-conservative American Jew hates Israel as much as Ahmadinejad. [Ace of Spades]
* In Nigeria, Blood for Oil isn’t just a slogan — it’s a way of life. [Cryptogon]
* Less anti-drug propaganda = Less drug use. More for us! [Reason Hit & Run]
* “HIS BLOATED EYES POPPED FROM HIS HEAD … AND WERE STOLEN BY A THIEF!” [Achewood]
* U.S. southerners breeding rapidly, frightening rest of country. [RedState]
* Apple retail stores outperform Tiffany & Best Buy this Xmas … Amazon’s three best-selling computers are MacBooks … is it happening? [Mac Insider, Amazon]

* In a shocking development, Mandalay was removed from the Washingtonian’s 100 Best Restaurant list. [Silver Spring, Singular]
* James Brown ruined Christmas. [Grace's Poppies]
* Five Guys is a huge chain all down the east coast. [5 Guys]
* Booming Grannies, Racist Nannies. [Wanderings in DC]
* How not to cry on New Year’s Eve. [How Not to be Dreadful]
* Thanks to Seasonale, two spaces after the period no longer necessary. [Nice Ideas]