• Someone accidentally left a document detailing ongoing Congressional ethics violations investigations on a public computer network. The Word paperclip would have advised against this. [Washington Post]
• The deposed president of Honduras has been temporarily undeposed by the de facto government. Legitimacy has been totally restored to government there, clearly. [New York Times]
• The Philadelphia-based (and Boston-based, for that matter) sports enthusiasts did not enjoy last night nearly as much as they did Wednesday night. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• This Russian tycoon who was forbidden from visiting the US apparently came here twice last year as the personal secret guest of the FBI. [WSJ]
• A Coast Guard plane and a Marine helicopter crashed into each other off the coast of California this morning. Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.  [AP]
• Rhymey former French president Jacques Chirac will be stand trial for corruption and defend some corrupt-seeming things he did while mayor of Paris. [Times Online]

A number of you have been sending us this amazing thing out of the blue — Ahh, it was on Sullivan this morning, GOT IT — about a secret chat between French queer Jacques Chirac and American dynamo George W. Bush before the Iraq war, the details of which Chirac has supposedly confirmed: “Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.” MORE »

Man French people have some bad luck with their dogs. Just a few years ago that lady got half her face eaten off by her Labrador, so they had to slap some cadaver’s face on her and that worked out OK, but still. And now former French President Jacques Chirac, who nobody much liked when he was in office, is a national hero because he got mauled by his crappy little Maltese, which was “clinically depressed.” MORE »

• France recommits larger number of soldiers, takes leadership of the “United Nations Interim Force of Lebanon.” [WP, W$J]

• Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.) has eyes opened during 14th trip to Iraq, says we need “to have a timeline for troop withdrawal.” [WP]
• Bush spends this week fishing with family in Kennebunkport, hiding from Cindy Sheehan, and covering up his New England roots. [WP]
• Emergency contraceptive “Plan B” approved by FDA, to be available in pharmacies without a prescription by the end of the year. [WP, NYT]
• All the big names are going to Iowa pretending to fundraise for mid-terms, but it’s really about 2008. [NYT]
• Kentucky Governor signs plea deal in hiring scandal; Kentucky Attorney General holds press conference, respects seersucker Thursday. [NYT]
• State Department secretive about investigation into Israel breaking secret agreements and secretly using restricted bombs. [NYT]

* Ah springtime: sun, life, and the dawn of a beautiful crazy/homeless friendship. [Eavesdrop DC]
* Just one more reason stumble to the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of ambition. Then cry in it as you consider your pitiful lot. [Tales From the Club]
* A French state-sponsored search engine? You’ll probably get better answers out of your magic 8-ball. [Beauty and the Beltway]

After two-week sabbatical for reasons of vacation-taking and sickness-having, Cartoon Violence, America’s only regular Editorial Cartoon-mocking column, returns with a vengeance.

Our guide to Today’s Cartoon is, as always, the esteemed Comics Curmudgeon. Join him, won’t you, on a magical journey through French protests, leggy anchors, dirty scary Mexicans, and America’s Sweetheart, Cynthia McKinney. The violence is unleashed, after the jump.

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